"WHO IS YOUR DADDY?" 

Let's put the mystery to rest. Paternity tests are half off today. Why? I'm feeling generous. And bored. 

 I have thankfully had a minimal amount of unwilling saliva swapping this year. Because of that, I will not be Scrooging with so much gusto. And because there are only a few days left. The fleeting nature of the City will have this all be forgotten. I'm glad that I can count on all of you to not be the type to keep the damn lights on in your personality long after the holiday is over.

I didn't ask for anything for Christmas. The things that everyone wants are usually impossible to obtain and just as impossible to ask for. 

All appointments for Doctor James Wilson shall be rescheduled for a later date. Please fill out the proper paperwork accordingly.

I'm not a religious person but maybe Jahovah's Witnesses are onto something by not celebrating any holidays at all.... Belief or celebration might have a vague involvement with the curses. In the event that they don't, I'm getting tired of them. 

I take personal insult to anything that tries to take my enjoyment of the few pleasures I have in life. Zombie movies is one of them. Though I can't say that any good ones have killer skeletons. How very Jason and the Argonauts.

I made a list. It's called Things Cripples Shouldn't Do. It's publishing date is pending because it's a long, long, long, long, [sigh] long list I have. Some of it may seem redundant but specifics are always necessary.

A great deal of ninjitsu is the new item.

Why am I telling you this? You should know. This may be beneficial to your life. I might even get a thank you out of it someday.

How does this sound:

"Your screwed, small and judgmental stare is not a sight I am new to. And I have been ridiculed with more efficiency by far. Irregardless, I would be content to have to deal with your demeanor in sickness iIf you are sick, how convenient, it would not be for long) or in health."

I'm not going to bother filtering it, Harry because you knew this was coming. Deal with it.

[ooc; House ready to make the biggest mistake of his life. Thx Stupid Cupid Curse. You're the best.]

HEY ALL YOU SICKOS.

Since history (and the City) has a habit of repeating itself can you all start to forward your symptoms? There's got to be a composite diagnosis. Even if it is something supernatural.

I might have a sticker for you if you cooperate.

Whether or not the sky is falling, the world is ending, the zombies are coming in again... you all better know for sure City General is open for business. Your business. No bodies in the street. At least die here so you can stay out of the way. As long as things run like they have, you'll pop back up in 24 hours.

Somebody said it once. I'm saying it again. I mean, in case you're learning impaired. Now is not the time to completely act like idiots. I've had my share of doubts. I've seen a liberation attempt or three. Until I see the door, I'm sticking to my guns. The healing guns. Even if it means dealing with having a floral cane. 

The criminal responsible will be punished at a later time.

 

I think it's about time someone is due for an upgrade. 

[ooc; Three guesses for who. And it isn't Chase or Cameron....this time.]

 In order to properly conduct an experiment you need to start with a few assessed facts and then form a hypothesis. An if then statement. If I do x then y will happen or it will mean y. 

I realize that conducting anything in an uncontrolled environment means that there will be unexpected results. 

The result is that this is a failboat.

[ooc; very bad things happened. :( ]

 Shouldn't we as a society and community be more worried that there are countless exotic pets that may be carrying unknown diseases in the City?

Maybe it's late to voice this opinion. I had a lapse in judgment. I believed that everyone would do the right thing and let them go. My bad.

 A word to the wise, keep out of these jerk's clutches.

The very conniving one. Charmus Jerkus. Typically recognized by smooth complexion and fair hair. While not exactly strong, this one thrives on the element of surprise.

The one that waits until your guard is down. Kodakus Teddibearus. Seen as cute and nonthreatening, that can be a fatal mistake. The female of the species is more deadly then the male they say. At least her intentions are seen easier than Charmus Jerkus.

The one that will get you at every turn. Derjuden Maxima. The deadliest one of them all. Why? Because he's only helping.

 At the risk of sounding sensitive, can we not have a curse that blows?

FILTERED FROM WILSON and CHASE;

I need a location for a bacchanalia. Stat.

[ooc; because of two friend employee birthdays and because he did like to shoot hoops once.]

 Now that I know (whether I want to or not) where many of you are, I am left with a few ponderings. It's what I do. Shut up. I could ramble about seniority, being here way too long and all that fun stuff. I try not to be so self-centered so let's try an angle we can all speak to.

We know this place is called The City, but we don't have a name. We've never had a name. And for that matter we don't have a seal or a flag. Not really a government unless a very fast and loose oligarchy would count.  I'd go as far as to say we aren't even unified enough. And a little hubbub for what? I'm still not so sure. It's great to mill around and break things. Especially to loud music. I was sort of stunned that there wasn't any earlier. I saw the rebels. None of them were as dreamy as what's his face. 

In other news, my dear wing man is on the mend. Everyone should lend him a hand. 

 Some may see a mistletoe curse....which it is. I feel like this is the perfect opportunity to screen for halitosis. It's not a diagnosis. It's a symptom. For the layman---THAT'S YOU GUYS---it's bad breath.

Why is this important? Well, for one it improves your relationship with everyone else. If you have a bad odor coming out of your mouth who wants to spend their time engaged in a close, intimate encounter? No sane person. Duh.

Food for thought. Or Tictac. You're welcome.

Today is busy. Very busy. I don't have time for a formal Q and A. Let me save you some googling. Read while you wait for the next available medical help.

( First Aid for Newbies )

....Is it over yet?

Are you still here?

....where are the attractive women?

[ooc; ANYTHING GOES.]

 The circus is in town and Wilson came back. There must be a connection. Because of all the down right gosh golly fantastic excitement can I get a head count? Wombat? Carebear? Lucky Charm?

[He's not going to say please and thank you but he means it.]

In the mean time I have a matter with another Jimmy.

 video;

[Scruffy Dr. House face. He looks to the left. Then he looks to the right. Scrolling through the network some. The mouse makes that nose. He smirks and then rubs his chin and mouth. The eyes are doing some squinting with what can be assumed as concentration....or he's trying not to laugh.]

None of you should be married. That's my professional opinion.

[Because that's exactly what anyone wanted to know out of him.]

In the mean time, there's ample literature for seasonal allergies and over the counter meds for cold and flu. Make use of them before you waste money and time. 

 After the fact curse comment session--deal with it--starts here.

Who needs wings and a halo to be preaching their own words of wisdom and knowledge to the masses? I don't. Neither do you. In fact I'm slightly offended. Aren't angels usually that vessel of the big guy in the sky? I used to know a few that prove to be the extreme opposite so this is in limited interpretations. Maybe.

In any case, to assume righteous authority doesn't take much of anything at all. That doesn't make you right. It just makes you far more annoying then you already are.

But surely, surely you knew that.

After the most recent curse you may have:

• Gradual but apparent fatigue
• Loss of appetite
• Sore throat
• Swollen lymph nodes
• Rash
• Swollen liver 

Do any of these ring a bell? Yes? Congratulations, you have mono. Now you can bother a doctor. Why? Because Mono can have complications. Complications are interesting. I want them. You can come along too if you absolutely have to.

If you have:

• Dry lips
• Anxiousness
• Remorse
• Bad taste in your mouth
• Over salivation
• Bruises

Then you're a lousy kisser and should feel bad for yourself.