[This is a shot of Derek Hale.

Well, of his abs. Close up, and he's....laughing.]

Don't do that.

[There's no reply but there is a sound like someone kissing him, and then the camera tilts and there's Stiles, looking incredibly pleased with himself. The angle is such that it's easy to see that Stiles is shirtless, but that's all.]

Okay, do that-

[And then a pause, because Derek sees the blinking light and he reaches over, but too late.

Already sent to the Network.]

This place has a sick sense of humor.

[Private to Mae, Lydia and Allison]

Stiles is back.

I don't care which house, which team, which trophy, whatever, that you cheer for, like, or who you kiss.

Make a mess at Puddifoots like the one I cleaned up this morning and die.


[ooc: he is a terminally cranky employee at...yes, at Puddifoots. Once a Gryffindor, but graduated a few years back]

Isaac Lahey's gone.

[Yes that's it.]

They're woods.

Thick woods, and it's night but it's not dark. It's as though the moon isn't just bright, it's like a lamp, shining on everything. All the smells and sounds of the woods are thick and overwhelming, ashy and heady, but then there's the smell of fire, the painful crackle of it, but no matter where anyone looks, all that's visible is the flame and the smoke, but not what's on fire.

The screaming starts a few minutes later.

I'm not trusting these eggs.

Or whatever they are.



[Words of wisdom, here.]

What-

Why is everyone-

No.



[ooc: as usual, anything goes except doubles!]

What-

[There's an angry moo and stamping, and then a growl, but more stamping]

What is going on?

[Derek has in fact been treed by a herd of cows]

[The woods are quiet, but then there's an explosion of leaves as one kid, black hair, green eyes, flings himself on a pile of leaves. It's really obvious he's unsupervised. What's less obvious is that he kind of snuck out.

He goes again - run, jump, leaves everywhere, and then laughing, but that's when he notices the recording]

Hey, what's this-

Is this like a video camera?

[He peers into the lens]

Hi, my name is Derek.

[Another pause, and now he's got a slightly more serious face]

Mom, if you're watching, I tried to wait for you, I really did.

[ooc: replies from translocated!]

How is this even an argument? You get almost everything you wanted!

Just sign the damn prenup, Stilinski!

[Or he will bite your throat out. With his teeth.

But you can't have Isaac in the divorce.]

[This is the sound of someone tapping a nail against the microphone]

This on-

[A pause, okay, yes, it's on.]

I don't have time for this. I need to know how to get past whatever that wall in the forest is made of. Now.

[Because repeated slammings of his fist into it have done nothing but hurt.]

I need to get home.

[There is a werewolf pack descending on his territory and his wolves are in danger and Peter is there with them alone and-

Peter is with them alone-]

........please.

[He sounds like just swallowed glass.]

This isn't funny-