[The audio feed has a fairly long pause at the beginning, the soft fuzz of a connection broken by the sounds of footsteps. One, two, three, four, pause, one, two, three, four -- anxious pacing, as if the person they belong to is trying to decide what to say, or if they should even say anything at all. After awhile the footsteps stop, and there's one more momentary pause, punctuated with a soft curse, before a young male voice comes in, all laughter and forced cheerfulness.]

Well, this is something right out of a low-budget movie, isn't it? Where are the giant squids? Haha, maybe I'll find out this is an alien planet filled with all sorts of busty green-skinned women that want to make me their ultra sexy king. Nerdy Fantasy Paradise, right?!

But hey, even if there are nine hundred beautiful alien girls lining up for my tender embraces out there, I'll have to decline! See, I have a super erotic and mega cute girlfriend already! I'm sure she wouldn't mind if I helped out a little but a man's honesty is his pride, so I really have to get back to her before she gets lonely.

Anyway, it's pretty rude to kidnap a guy and just leave him wandering around, even if you are a cute alien girl! So how about you give me a little more to go on, eh? I quit school but you've still gotta let me study before the field exam!