[ACCIDENTAL PUBLIC VIDEO / SPAM for McGee]

MCGEE. WHERE THE FUCK--

[She's not there, Ed. You know this. There's a heavy sigh mixed with a growl, and the viewers don't get the best view of things, but it's clear enough that he's pissed.]

You're trying to be a pain in the ass, aren't you. That is literally the only explanation because there is no other reason for going out into a fucking INVASION.

[And look who's going out into it himself now.

DAMMIT MCGEE.]

[...there's blood dripping on the screen again. Plunk. Plunk. A moment or so later and fingers reach for it, pulling the device out of the way. The drips are still there, but you can at least see past them to see an Ed who is positively ecstatic. And also dripping blood from his fingertips.]

Did you know you can flavor blood? Fucking awesome.

[...yes, that last word was falsetto. Hey, he's in a really good mood.

Although at the expense of who is really the important question here.



Ed is cursed. Expect to receive even more inappropriate comments than usual.]

Well this could be worse.

[In the background, a creepy male voice and an organ are providing accompaniment; Ed seems more amused than anything else.]

Do you ever think as a hearse goes by that you may be the next to die? They wrap you up in a big white sheet, from your head down to your tiny feet.

...I could've done without waking up to Coldplay, but whatever. At least whatever's doing this has a sense of humor?

[PUBLIC to all; mostly accidental -- he was just trying to film it for his own amusement and somehow ended up broadcasting]

[Have some video of a hand. Just a hand; no wrist attached, no arm attached, no PERSON attached. Very pale, and twitching slightly. Sitting all by itself on the counter. There's a pool of blood surrounding it, but it's mostly tacky by now.

There's also an Ed snickering in the background.]

Dude. I had no fucking idea that could happen. It's like a zombie only a thousand times better.

[Rudy, this is Ed's accidental homage to you; he ate your heart and saw your handiwork and it's given him Ideas.]


[PRIVATE to Frankie]

Okay man, I get your deal now.

[OW. Your heart hurt. :/ ]


[Ed's currently eaten hearts from both Frankie (Sun) and Rudy (Art). ...he's had Deceitful from McGee too, but he's biding his time on obnoxious with that one.]

[Video/Spam]

[There's a kid prowling the streets at night like he owns them, and the only real difference between this night and any OTHER night is that he kind of looks like everything he ordinarily hates while he's at it. Shoulders thrown back, chin raised, dressed like a prep school kid with a blatant disregard for how the uniform is supposed to be worn and a disaffected stare like he automatically thinks he's the greatest thing since Skyrim was released and you should just accept it already. Oh yeah. It's like he's channeling Mark or something.

Vampire geeks are SO hot right now. It's like...BOTH of the fads that the entertainment industry's trying to monopolize on these days. All in one dangerous, non-sparkly package. HIS APPEAL IS UNIVERSAL.

Unable to keep his distilled sex appeal to himself any longer, Ed finally stops, leans casually against a building and pulls out his phone...thing to share with the world.]

Ladies. I just have two things to tell you.

My name's Edward. And I don't sparkle.

[Video -- Public]

[There's a worryingly pale and exceptionally filthy boy with black eyes and fangs staring at you through the screen, folks. He looks pretty annoyed. Or at the very least lost and miserable.]

Listen, I know I'm not supposed to be out yet, but...I need something. Just a little...It doesn't have to be much. I tried to find the girls but everything's all fucked up. I think...I think something's wrong. My head's splitting and it's not like usually. At least...not all of it; it's everywhere, not just in my head.

...God, I can't even think right now.

We're not in Kansas anymore, I'll tell you that much.

[He hisses, words more clearly irritated now but with an undertone of pleading.]

It hurts, Jerry; you said it wouldn't anymore. You fucking promised.