29 October 2013 @ 10:44 pm
[In an attempt to summon some help or good luck for the battle going on on the mountain, while he's posted at ground level maintaining the fort...]

Gnillac ym etirovaf hctiw. Revo.
28 September 2013 @ 11:39 pm
There are a lot of great donuts out there.

Long Johns.

But nothing beats a topping of bacon and maple syrup. Bacon donuts are the Cadillacs of donuts. Bless this fucking donut.

[ooc: Forward-dated to Sunday afternoon!]
26 August 2013 @ 09:42 pm
Is there anybody here who gave up trying to get out?
28 July 2013 @ 10:50 am
...What's wrong with my plaid shirt...
26 May 2013 @ 10:37 pm
What's more important:

- tail
- mane
- horn
- wings
18 March 2013 @ 11:40 am
[This is the sound of a man who's been sobbing (and puking) his guts out. It's like he put the lime in the coconut and mixed it all up.]

Somebody send some fuckin' help. [GrooOoOaAaAaaaan fuck you I'm fuckin' dyin' crai.]
16 February 2013 @ 08:23 pm
Why would my eyes look in different directions??!

[ooc: Courtesy of the Reservoir Dogs videogame 8( Anything goes except spoilers for the ending of Reservoir Dogs please! Asking for no doubles of crew members unless you've already talked to the poly players first!]
29 January 2013 @ 06:20 pm
riding cowboy shouldnt be hard for a guy like you but youve come to the right dude for tips
04 January 2013 @ 10:20 pm
I've been here two whole fucking years and this is some new brand of fucked up shit. They don't stay down.

Officer in the southeast quarter, call it in if you need assistance.
28 November 2012 @ 08:56 pm
Giving everybody the same mug's creepy enough, but bees? Seriously?

Sorry about your face, dude.
31 October 2012 @ 03:19 pm
So these two guys are walking home from a party on Halloween night, just for laughs they decide to take a shortcut through a cemetery. About midway through they hear a tap-tap-tap coming from the fucking dark. Tap-tap-tap chink. Tap-tap-tap. They're tough guys, they wave it off, but you know they think they gotta walk a little faster. Well they walk faster but the tapping gets louder. Now these guys are ready to piss their pants, they're holding on to each other for fucking life. Finally they come across an old groundskeeper with a hammer and chisel chipping away at one of the headstones.

"Holy shit, man," one of them says after catching his breath, "you scared us half to death." The other one says, "we thought you were a ghost! What the fuck are you doing working so goddamn late?"

The groundskeeper growls, "those sons of bitches spelled my name wrong!"
30 September 2012 @ 08:29 pm

I gotta have more. If you don't want yours look me up. Let's talk.
20 September 2012 @ 08:21 pm
Okay that was pretty bad but you know what? It's still not as bad as a Made in 1965 shirt.
09 August 2012 @ 09:36 pm
title: backstage pass
writer: anonymous
rating: absolutely not safe for work!

it could have resembled something like melted chocolate )
31 July 2012 @ 04:17 pm
You know it's not that weird, a little foot in mouth happens to everybody.
20 July 2012 @ 08:34 pm
Okay. How many letters are in the alphabet? The English alphabet.
30 June 2012 @ 10:55 am
So where's the party at?

[ooc: No spoilers for the ending of Reservoir Dogs, please!]
28 June 2012 @ 03:53 pm
Hey. You can't say yesterday wasn't refreshing, right?

Don't anybody get sour over it.
13 June 2012 @ 09:31 pm
[There's still about an hour to go until midnight when this anonymous entry shows up on the network. It's the three most important words a guy can say:]

im a cop
14 May 2012 @ 05:17 pm

I'm running a little late. Can someone back a guy up and--

[Fuuuuuaurughrbkagrhguh. Somebody just hugged him and it huuuuurts. There's a son of a bitch and oh mah gawd and the sound of a heavy fist colliding with a face (not his, thanks). Commotion in front of the hospital get. Huff puff.]

I'm gonna--I'm out.

[ooc: Backdated to around 10am this morning please!]