[Howl is slumped on the chair at his work bench, looking a little scruffier than his usual coiffed self. In front of him is a heart (unsurprising given today's curse.) A normal, healthy looking human heart, beating away steadily. He's glaring at it with a look of confusion and suspicion.]

I must say, it's rather larger than the last time I saw it. Although I suppose five years in the possession of a fire demon would do that to any vital organs.

[Hey look, it's Howl. He looks none too pleased with today's turn of events.]

Now look here, you kidnappers society masquerading as a city. I enjoy a few sweets now and again as much as the next man, but this time it's gone too far.

[He swings the camera around to show a shelves cupboard, stacked with row upon row of... cakes. They are all of various colours and decoration, but roughly all the same size...]

Those were my SHOES.

The downside to living in a world separate to your own in that no one understands any pop culture references at fancy dress parties. Although I hope in this particular instance someone in the audience may recognise this one. So City -

[Howl pulls back from the camera to reveal a bright blue suit and patterned tie. Yes, he's even dyed his hair for the occasion. On his face is a famous lightening bolt across his face.]

How do I look?

[Hey City! Did you feel like something was missing in your life? Perhaps were feeling the loss of a certain narcissistic magical Welshman?

Then pine no more, for as the camera flickers into life, it displays an extremely bedraggled Howl Jenkins sprawled across the pavement near the fountain. He, quite frankly, looks like a hot mess. His normally immaculate blond hair is frizzed around his head in a messy haystack, the much darker roots showing at his scalp. He's got dark bags under his eyes, and he's wearing and extremely torn and tattered black suit.

Howl sits up, clutching his head.]

Bloody hell!

[Followed by a few more choice swear words.]

Sophie! What have you gotten us into this time you bloody old woman!

[He attempts to stand up, but staggers, hand suddenly clutched over his heart. He swears a few more times, breathing heavily.]

And remind me to please explain to you that hearts go in the middle. This is going to take hours to put right.




[ooc: He's baaaaaaaaaack. Howl's been updated to directly after the end of the book. Hes extremely hungover and just defeated an evil witch so someone please bring him coffee and bacon. Especially if that coffee has kahlua in it.]

[The camera in Howl's device flickers to life, showing the wizard in question in his workshop. He's dressed down from his usual, his shirtsleeves showing and suit jacket flung over the back of a chair. He even has his hair tucked behind both ears as he measures out a few strange coloured powders and sands into a weight scale. He makes notes as he works, muttering under his breath.

He adds a new ingredient into his bowl and it sparks violently, letting off a plume of smoke. Howl pulls back with a yelp, sucking his burnt fingers into his mouth.]

Twll dy din di bloody HELL bugger! SOPHIE!

[He walks his way out of the room, nursing his fingers and swearing loudly in Welsh and English. As suddenly as it starts, the speaking ends, and the camera tips off the table to reveal an empty hallway. The feed ends.]






[ooc: Howl's been sent home for a canon update! He'll be back by the end of the month, so don't miss him too much. Howl won't be answering do to being in Ingary and preventing himself from being kidnapped by The Witch of the Waste, but feel free to interact in the comments.]

If anyone is looking for a room, we seem to be rather more full of vacancies than usual. It's impossible to keep a flatmate in this place.

[He pauses, perhaps about to say something else but he changes his mind and shuts off the video.]







[ooc: Howl's bff brofrand 5eva went home. He will be sulking in his room under a mountain of blankets if anyone cares to excavate him. Just beware of green slime.]

[Howl is on his front lawn. He's beaming, looking happier than he's been in months, his blond hair flying artfully in the wind.]

Good morning, City. Or is it afternoon? I've been rather preoccupied, actually.

[He sends another blinding grin in the direction of the camera before he turns around. He raises his arms, and begins to speak. The words sound not entirely like his own voice, and don't seem to stay in your mind no matter how well you listen. They finish with a crack of thunder, and suddenly storm clouds start to fill the clear blue sky. They gather over the lawn where Howl is standing, and it begins to rain torrentially, carefully avoiding getting Howl wet of course. After a few moments it clears, the clouds dispersing to leave hot, wet sunshine and a single rainbow.

He's grinning so hard his face might split.]



bloody hell it feels good to be back.



[ooc: Howl's magic is returned! Which means he is in a celebratory mood. /nudgenudgewinkwink. Feel free to come by his place to witness this little display, or bump into him around town.]

[For the first time in many weeks, Howl appears on the network entirely himself. He's lounged in his sitting room, the usual mess and stacks of paper around him contrasting with his immaculately coiffed hair and designer suit. The only thing that looks off is the fact that the bright turquoise of his trousers are rolled up at the ankles, revealing

some seriously amazingly glittery high heels.]

Forgive me for not getting up. It's been some years since I've ever walked in shoes like these.

If I was going to be forced into this curse, they could have a least chosen a pair with a little more class. It completely over-powers my look today.

[He gives a cheeky grin into his papers before the camera shuts off.]

[The device is turned on most likely by accident, as you are treated to about a minute of a few of the floor. A rather messy floor, covered in scraps of paper and odd socks. There is a very loud crash just off camera, followed by a passionate stream of welsh which any experts might recognise as mostly swear words. The device flips over, to reveal the bedroom of Howl Jenkins, utterly destroyed, with a young boy in a school uniform standing in the middle of it. He speaks rapidly in Welsh again before switching in to English.]

I don't know what someone's playing at, but I'm supposed to be at school, and when my Dad finds out I'm not he's going to send all the coppers out looking for me so you just better watch it. Now someone had better explain to me just what's going on, or I'll-

[He fidgets nervously for a second, hands tightening in fists.]

I'll make sure you regret it. Paid a malu cachu!

[An unfamiliar voice comes onto the network, but with a perhaps by this point familiar Swansea accent.]

You know, I didn't think I'd have an excuse to wear this jacket after I bought it. At least not without being thoroughly sloshed first.





Did anyone else wake up in a somewhat unfamiliar body this morning?








[ooc: That is right. Howl is now a hot chick. Hide yo wives, people.]

[Filtered away from Sophie Hatter]

Oi, you lot. I'm loathe to use 'deities', as I've no evidence that title is anything but arrogance on your part.



I'd like to make a bargain.

( SFW largish image within )


What do you think, Sophie? It's not a castle, but I suppose it will just have to do. I got a rather good deal as well.

[The camera spins until Howl's beaming face fills the screen.]

Pavel, you're invited, of course. And ask your lady friend if you like. In fact, we may need to find a few boarders. There are rather more bedrooms than we can fill on our own, and I hate an empty bedroom in a house. It feels like bad luck.

[Howl isn't bothering to filter to this, despite it being directed at one person in particular. You could call it laziness or his desire to show off. More likely a combination of both. He spins it back round to show the house again.]

So how soon do you reckon until you can have us packed up to move?




[ooc: In which Howl is a fickle spendthrift and bought a house.... open video/audio/action from anyone!]

[The video opens to what some may recognise as the ridiculous mess of Howl and Chekov's apartment. Stacks of paper litter every surface, and half-disassembled electronics have been left out unfinished. Howl is standing over a crude workbench, absolutely covered in various jars of strange coloured powders, roots, and what appears to be a jar of jellied eyes. Howl is combining ingredients in a fast and slapdash manner, pouring them into a large mortar and pestle and and speaking strange, barely-audible words over them. The ingredients glow, changing colour and consistency before Howl pours them all into various small vials and boxes. He labels them all with torn piece of masking tape, scrawling on them in spiky, barely-legible handwriting. They're all labeled such things as 'eyes', 'skin', and 'hair'. He makes notes on a nearby piece of paper as he goes, sticking the pen behind his ear when he's not using it. After his third potion, Howl glances to the camera, grinning. Yeah, he knew it was on.]

Good morning, City. I do love getting things done early while I'm feeling fresh, don't you? These-

[he holds up a small vial marked 'hair'.]

Will be on sale for a limited time. Normally I don't like selling them, but I need the cash for the more unusual spell ingredients. Consider it a one-time offer.

And while you're here -



Truth or Dare?


[ooc: yep, Howl sure is having his first curse. Do your worst, City. :-D Also, Howl's magical cosmetics will be on sale. Ever want hairdye that dyes your roots magically as it grows out? You just found your dream man. You're welcome.]

[The video opens to a shaky view of the sky. It spins, revealing a that whoever's holding it is standing on the roof of one of the apartment buildings. There's a flap of bright satin sleeve before the device is flipped around and a grinning Howl Jenkins fills the screen.]

I trust the majority of you are staying safe and warm inside. Meanwhile, some of us have work to do.

Don't try this at home and all that. ALRIGHT THEN! COME AND HAVE A GO IF YOU LIKE, YOU OVER-SIZED PEPPER POT!

[A speck in the distance suddenly turns and speeds in Howl's direction. Cries of EXTERMINATE EXTERMINATE are getting louder and louder.]

I've always wanted to do this.

[Howl stretches out one hand and shouts a series of words that seem to get lost in a clap of thunder. The dalek starts to spark, and is suddenly starts convulsing, waves of electricity passing over it like it's been struck by lighting. It lets out a dying cry and and crashes on the roof a few metres from Howl, sending off a few dying sparks.

Howl turns to the camera, beaming.]

Do let me know if you need any help with pest control.

[The network is treated to a close-up of a rather good-looking face, topped with a neatly coifed head of blond hair. When it pulls back a fraction, the man appears to be wearing an elaborate Victorian frockcoat in bright blue with silver insets. He gives the network a dazzling grin.]

Good afternoon, all. Or is it morning? It was afternoon when I left, but inter-dimensional travel does tend to mess with ones timeline just a fraction so I’m not going to assume it’s the same time it was back in Ingary. We’ll just stick with ‘Good Day’, shall we?

You can imagine my surprise when I was expecting to step into another rainy day in Wales and discovered it had dried up quite a bit. Now I’ve done my research, and I must say this place is hardly original. At the very least you could have given it an appropriate title. Something better than ‘The City’. Honestly, If I’m going to be kidnapped at least I’d prefer it was by someone with a little style.

Now could someone please tell me where a fellow can get a drink around here. I was on my way to my university rugby club reunion when these Deities decided to snatch me up, and I was looking forward to getting well and truly sloshed..



[ooc: The Welsh Wizard is all up in your City, people. He managed to avoid the fountain, so action for anyone around the welcome centre.]