I've always had a difficult time trusting anything that we're told here, regardless of what part of the City's apparent administration it comes from. How often have we had the promise of home dangled in front of us before? How many times can you be snapped in and out of reality, relentlessly attacked by supernatural forces, or deal with the City's barriers crumbling in new and exciting ways before you start to eye everything a little dubiously?
But... I can't deny that the circumstances surrounding this are different, so if this actually is it, if any of you are about to go walk through a door, if it truly does bring you to another world... don't do it without saying goodbye, all right? It's not a luxury we've generally come to expect here, but it's an opportunity we shouldn't throw away.
I'm not going to lie and say that I've loved being here, that in the end I can look back and say that, after all of it, I was happy here all along. That would be cheapening what I really do want to say, which is that... I've hated the City. I've hated it in a way that became a quiet and passive background to finding myself living here for the past several years. I truly have, but as much as being here has been a repeated series of trials, dangers and trauma beyond anything a person should have to endure, there have been bright spots. There have been moments that were beautiful, days I look back on as fondly as any I spent back home, and people whose friendship has meant more to me than I can find words to say.
As terrible as things can be here, there has always been a sense of connection and camaraderie among those of us who have gotten stuck here, and even if I wind up not consciously remembering any of this, I find it impossible to believe that there won't be some impression left, that I won't feel what some of you have meant to me on some subconscious level for years. For all we've suffered through, you've made it possible for me to build something like a real life here - and if not me personally, if you and I never developed a friendship here, I can guarantee there's at least someone here who feels precisely the way that I'm describing about you.
So, as much as I'm hesitant to do so myself just yet, if you're about to head out and on the off chance that it truly is what it appears to be... you should take that knowledge with you, on whatever level our selves are touched by the City.
But... I can't deny that the circumstances surrounding this are different, so if this actually is it, if any of you are about to go walk through a door, if it truly does bring you to another world... don't do it without saying goodbye, all right? It's not a luxury we've generally come to expect here, but it's an opportunity we shouldn't throw away.
I'm not going to lie and say that I've loved being here, that in the end I can look back and say that, after all of it, I was happy here all along. That would be cheapening what I really do want to say, which is that... I've hated the City. I've hated it in a way that became a quiet and passive background to finding myself living here for the past several years. I truly have, but as much as being here has been a repeated series of trials, dangers and trauma beyond anything a person should have to endure, there have been bright spots. There have been moments that were beautiful, days I look back on as fondly as any I spent back home, and people whose friendship has meant more to me than I can find words to say.
As terrible as things can be here, there has always been a sense of connection and camaraderie among those of us who have gotten stuck here, and even if I wind up not consciously remembering any of this, I find it impossible to believe that there won't be some impression left, that I won't feel what some of you have meant to me on some subconscious level for years. For all we've suffered through, you've made it possible for me to build something like a real life here - and if not me personally, if you and I never developed a friendship here, I can guarantee there's at least someone here who feels precisely the way that I'm describing about you.
So, as much as I'm hesitant to do so myself just yet, if you're about to head out and on the off chance that it truly is what it appears to be... you should take that knowledge with you, on whatever level our selves are touched by the City.
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