James E. Wilson, MD (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
dr_conscience) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
poly_chromatic2014-02-26 10:56 am
dr_conscience) wrote in poly_chromatic2014-02-26 10:56 am
Entry tags:
[ 108th consult | voice ]
I've always had a difficult time trusting anything that we're told here, regardless of what part of the City's apparent administration it comes from. How often have we had the promise of home dangled in front of us before? How many times can you be snapped in and out of reality, relentlessly attacked by supernatural forces, or deal with the City's barriers crumbling in new and exciting ways before you start to eye everything a little dubiously?
But... I can't deny that the circumstances surrounding this are different, so if this actually is it, if any of you are about to go walk through a door, if it truly does bring you to another world... don't do it without saying goodbye, all right? It's not a luxury we've generally come to expect here, but it's an opportunity we shouldn't throw away.
I'm not going to lie and say that I've loved being here, that in the end I can look back and say that, after all of it, I was happy here all along. That would be cheapening what I really do want to say, which is that... I've hated the City. I've hated it in a way that became a quiet and passive background to finding myself living here for the past several years. I truly have, but as much as being here has been a repeated series of trials, dangers and trauma beyond anything a person should have to endure, there have been bright spots. There have been moments that were beautiful, days I look back on as fondly as any I spent back home, and people whose friendship has meant more to me than I can find words to say.
As terrible as things can be here, there has always been a sense of connection and camaraderie among those of us who have gotten stuck here, and even if I wind up not consciously remembering any of this, I find it impossible to believe that there won't be some impression left, that I won't feel what some of you have meant to me on some subconscious level for years. For all we've suffered through, you've made it possible for me to build something like a real life here - and if not me personally, if you and I never developed a friendship here, I can guarantee there's at least someone here who feels precisely the way that I'm describing about you.
So, as much as I'm hesitant to do so myself just yet, if you're about to head out and on the off chance that it truly is what it appears to be... you should take that knowledge with you, on whatever level our selves are touched by the City.
But... I can't deny that the circumstances surrounding this are different, so if this actually is it, if any of you are about to go walk through a door, if it truly does bring you to another world... don't do it without saying goodbye, all right? It's not a luxury we've generally come to expect here, but it's an opportunity we shouldn't throw away.
I'm not going to lie and say that I've loved being here, that in the end I can look back and say that, after all of it, I was happy here all along. That would be cheapening what I really do want to say, which is that... I've hated the City. I've hated it in a way that became a quiet and passive background to finding myself living here for the past several years. I truly have, but as much as being here has been a repeated series of trials, dangers and trauma beyond anything a person should have to endure, there have been bright spots. There have been moments that were beautiful, days I look back on as fondly as any I spent back home, and people whose friendship has meant more to me than I can find words to say.
As terrible as things can be here, there has always been a sense of connection and camaraderie among those of us who have gotten stuck here, and even if I wind up not consciously remembering any of this, I find it impossible to believe that there won't be some impression left, that I won't feel what some of you have meant to me on some subconscious level for years. For all we've suffered through, you've made it possible for me to build something like a real life here - and if not me personally, if you and I never developed a friendship here, I can guarantee there's at least someone here who feels precisely the way that I'm describing about you.
So, as much as I'm hesitant to do so myself just yet, if you're about to head out and on the off chance that it truly is what it appears to be... you should take that knowledge with you, on whatever level our selves are touched by the City.
audio;
[IT'S NOT AUDIO BECAUSE SHE'S TEARING UP.]
They said we have three days. Planning on hanging around?
audio;
[ It's a bittersweet joke, though it's also not - not really, because tears are not unlikely. ]
For now, yes. And you... ?
[ It trails off, hoping Penny's not running off yet. He's not sure what her plans are, of course, but they said the doors could take them to other worlds. If that's true, if any of it is, he has to believe there's somewhere for her to go. ]
audio;
[There's the tiniest hitch in her voice.]
I don't know. I mean, I'll stay as long as I can. After that... I can't go home, so...
[She really wants to go home with Wilson to make sure he has someone looking out for him later when it happens. That whole thing with Chase, though... maybe he wouldn't be so glad to have her hanging around.]
audio;
[ While Wilson wouldn't object to that, he'd certainly be far more concerned if he knew everything that was going on. ]
audio;
[She's this close to just telling him about Saya and Chase and cancer. This. Close.]
audio;
On the other hand, it's an opportunity that most people never have. But I can't imagine how difficult it must be.
audio;
audio;
And once you're on the other end of it... well. Presumably, most worlds are pretty big.
audio;
audio;
That's where you want to go? With me?
audio;
[Even if it's not, she might push. This is important.]
audio;
[ But he can't hep but wonder why. ]
You realize that, by the City's standards, my world is pretty firmly on the boring side?
audio;
[She's reaching.]
audio;
[ Homeless shelters back home - that's something that strikes Wilson deeply. Back home means back with the possibility of finding his brother, someday, back to all aspects of his life. He'd fall more into that reverie if he weren't caught by that-- ]
Third time?
audio;
[She isn't sure she should say, but she'd been pretty quiet about her romantic failures.]
Oh, yeah. There was... you know, you. And then there was Chase, but he kind of asked someone to marry him, so.
audio;
You know, he'll be there. Not the one you know here, I would guess, since... I came from earlier than he did, but.
[ He... would love to keep Penny in his life. He isn't trying to talk her out of it, but he's still concerned. ]
Will you be all right with that?
audio;
So...
Are you going to go home or... going somewhere else?
audio;
Home. I need to go back to where I belong.
this is so not goodbye not now, not ever
[Beside the point really.]
You've always been the voice of coping. That's what is part of your specialty. This isn't a case.
[Coming out of his mouth. What.]
never ever EVER
No. It's not.
[ Seriously. Wow. ]
If people are about to start leaving -- theoretically -- I wanted to say something before they did.
<3
...and sober?
no subject
And yes, for the moment.
no subject
Yeah. About that. You're missing your prescribed dosage. I happen to have just the medication.
no subject
Well, that sounds promising. What's our treatment plan?
no subject
voice;
[If it sounds like she's smiling, that's because she is.]
Or maybe not. We're really great at hiding in plain sight. Maybe we're from the same place and you don't know it. Haven't you ever wondered?
voice;
[ If there's anything he's learned, it's that he understands reality, life, and everything beyond both even less than he previously thought. ]
But, yes... I have wondered. And who's to say it isn't possible - that anything isn't, after this?
voice;