( action | leading up to this )


[action / video]
[It may look like Abed is sitting in a cafe, wearing a mustache cut out of felt, but appearances can be deceiving. This isn't Abed; this is Evil Abed, come forth from the Darkest Timeline to wreck havoc.

A waitress hands him a cup of tea, which he takes and then SLAMS on the ground, scattering shards and steaming liquid everywhere. Is it a curse that compels him to do this? No, he's just a dick.

He looks over the waitress.]

You could lose a quarter in that ass.


[She stalks off and he calls after her]

In case you're too dumb to get it, I just called you fat.

( Abed's mental state leading up to this )

[video/action]
[Abed is standing on the ledge of the fountain. He's wearing a top hat and sporting a cane, along with his usual jeans, t-shirt, and sneakers.

He sings.]

One long stay in the mystery City
One long stay, filled with so much to do
Every few days, a new curse hits the City
Sometimes a fun one, and sometimes a glum one
But you'll make it through!

We're told it's run by Deities
But the Welcome Center's by Penny
Pizza's free on Tuesdays all year long.

Everyone gets a network device
Completely free! Can't beat the price!
Get comfy 'cause you'll probably stay for long ~

I want to be in this -

[He's surprisingly athletic and dances gracefully on the ledge. But some prankster decides it'd be a great idea to hit his leg.

SPLASH! Abed goes tumbling into the water.]

[text]

Normally I'm much better about keeping up with these things. Guess I just haven't been feeling it.

I'm sorry. This is the Jim Belushi of network posts. It exists just to remind you it exists, pretending to have relevance but meaning nothing.

[video]

[Abed stands on the edge of the fountain, in front of a crowd of water balloon fighters, dressed in a track suit and looking like a football coach. He holds up a water balloon.]

If there's magic in water balloon fights, it's the magic of fighting battles beyond endurance, beyond broken windows, ruptured balloons and and soaked underwear. It's the magic of risking everything for a dream that nobody sees but you.

Great moments... are born from great opportunity. And that's what you have here, today. That's what you've earned here today. One game. If we played 'em ten times, they might win nine. But not this game. Not today. Today, we run with them. today, we stay with them. And we shut them down because we can! today, WE are the greatest water balloon team in the world. You were born to be water balloon warriors. Every one of you. And you were meant to be here today. This is your time. Their time is done. It's over. I'm sick and tired of hearing about what a great water balloon team the other guys have. Screw 'em. This is your time. Now go out there and take it.

[The crowd of NPCs (and whoever among the PCs chooses to be there!) cheers, and then runs off to engage in water balloon battle.

Abed turns to his device.]

I don't normally go for sports movies. Too schmaltzy. But after three episode's worth of paintball and a pillow fight, I'd run out of what I felt was original war movie material. And if there's one thing I hate, it's repeating myself.


[ooc: Please feel free to have your character be one of Abed's water ballooners! Or an enemy water ballooner! Action threads and threadjacking highly encouraged.]

[text]
This network device is interesting. It's like Facebook, except less confusing and with more respect for privacy.

Does anyone know where I can get my hands on a camera? I tried using the computer's video record function, but it didn't really work.

[embedded video]
[Have footage of Abed walking around the City streets, now dressed perfectly normally except for the open network device tied to his head. (How did he get footage of himself? Who knows.)

Something knocks him over and he falls, breaking the network device.]


[A second embedded video shows the computer's perspective, which is incredibly shaky and might make you queasy. Quality filmmaking it is not. The screen goes black (at last!) when the device breaks.]

[video // action]

[Abed comes crawling out of a building, wearing a blanket tunic and a pillow tied to his head, while carrying another pillow with him.

He stands up and looks around him, puzzled. He looks behind him, but he doesn't see the main corridor of the United Forts of Pillowtown -- only a cafe with some very confused patrons.

He looks down at the pillow in his arms.]


Toto, I've a feeling we're not in Greendale any more


[ooc: 4th wallers welcome! Action threads preferred! Threadjackers are worshipped and adored. Please comment here with your preferences regarding being 4th walled.]