*there's some panting and a lot of swearing excuse Harry while he freaks out.  Because uh, really scary ghoul from home is whispering in his ear and it's er... mostly invisible unless there's something reflective around*

Uh... I recommend staying far far away from me.

*a lower voice laughs and it sounds like something from the lower bowels of Hell only not as nice*

*the device hits the ground with a horrible noise and there might be panic explosions somewhere in the city while Harry ignores completely the advice that fire does not indeed fix this thing. The sound from the device cuts off completely*

Is it wrong that I keep expecting something to jump out and try to eat my face?  It's been a while since the last thing did that and my life seems somehow incomplete.  That's not an invitation by the way.  But the end of the year and all... some guys get to worrying.

Harry is at a table with a few bunsen burners and some vials that make it look like a science project cooking but he's holding some ripped up pieces of paper above one of the beakers and staring a cock with fancy plumage that is looking back at him and speaking with a french accent. 

"Bonjour Monsieur Wizard, where is your lady, feminine, female, girl, le cluck?"

The wizard blinks once and looks slowly around as though trying to find someone throwing their voice. 

"Did you just speak in a Pepe Le Pew voice?"

"Intimacy is difficult at this range." 

"Scuse me?"

"You must call her Monsieur.  Pick up le telephone, speak sweet nothings, a touching gesture, no? You must break the ice, begin your courtship..."

The bird continues to talk and Dresden's face twitches a little.

And then he bursts into laughter.  Because come on.  It's talking like a cartoon character.  In the background the bird is flapping it's wings in excitement, it's descriptions of what Harry should do becoming more personal and the device clicks off.

[The device gives a horrible feedback squeal then crackles loudly all of a sudden, cuts out a bit before you finally hear Harry swearing to himself apparently close to the phone because it's really loud. And then a pause with some rustling noises like leaves or curtains.]

THERE it is.

Oh crap.

Seriously? Months of that and now we're back here? I need a freaking beer.

[ooc: Harry has been canon updated, beware the spoilers if you try to press him for what happened while he was away, if you see him in person he's a lot thinner, with more muscle and has an even cooler jacket on. Also longer hair and some temper/self-control issues.]

Uh... so I've read the books and everything but I really haven't ever had an interest to understand Tik-Tok deeply enough to walk a mile in his steel boots.

There's a woman sitting at the edge of a bed, naked and looking a little groggy although her pure white hair is covering most of her body.  She makes a noise somewhere between a groan and a yawn and stands up, scratching at a hip as she staggers toward the bathroom.  There's some noise for a moment while she's out of screen and water running and then a huge clattering sound and a thump with a sharp cry.  Ice crystals shoot across the room and closer to the bathroom you can actually see ice forming around the doorframe. 

A second later there's some swearing and then a noise of disbelief.

Maybe a second too long while there are interested noises before the woman swears again and there's some shuffling.  Finally she stalks out of the room, a towel wrapped around her torso and reaches for the doorknob.

Only to have her hand literally burst into purple flame before she yanks it back. "Hells bells!  Oh come on! That can't be iron."  Well it's not completely iron anyway because as he opens his hand the fire is gone and his hand looks pretty and pale still.  She clenches it and opens it again.  Finally she knocks at the door and yells out, "Mercy?!  Hey Mercy!  I can't get out!"  

She starts searching around the room, flinging things this way and that until she comes up with an oven mit Harry had been using for potions for Hei and proceeds to try to open the door with the mit as a cushion between herself and the handle.  "Guy can't catch a freakin' break."  She's muttering while the mit slips. 

Ice crystals start forming across the video screen and then it clicks back off.

I have a duster again.

I hope you guys realize how long it took me to type this up. 

I need some sort of anti-murphyonic field  creator or something because I had to start it over about six times. 

It was worth it to announce the coat though.  You are awesome, Mercy.

There's snow for a minute and then bright light and the device is apparently on the ground tilted a little up and askew.  You can see blades of grass and beyond that, a tall, scruffy looking man with his hair sticking up as though he hasn't brushed it since he got up, in jeans and a t-shirt, looking down at a small woman who seems enthusiastic.  He runs his hands through his hair making it look even worse if that's possible and holds out a hand.  There's talking but it's hard to hear from the distance the device is at. Whatever they've said, she beams up at him and steps up on his feet and takes his hand.

Somewhere there are strains of music though it's hard to make out as he begins to move, picking up the steps to the dance after a moment of thought.  She comes up to his chest and looks childlike, standing on his shoes like that but seems to be having fun regardless and he's looking a little amused by the whole thing as they twirl.   Neither of them seems to notice the device is on. 

The video flickers and fuzzes in and out when they twirl closer and then promptly goes black again.

So I need to get a couple of things covered. 

Firstly I could use the money so here's the standard description of what I can do, if it'll help you, drop me a line.  Or Mercy if I don't reply because sometimes this thing-a-ma-gig doesn't work right and she's being a good sport.

I'm in the phone book back home as a Wizard.  So my general gig is finding lost items or people, paranormal investigations, consulting and advice.  I don't do love potions and if I could do endless purses I wouldn't be advertising.  I am not here for entertainment so if you've got a party, call a clown.  I'm goofy looking but not for cash. 

Also, where's the best beer in town?  Some place low key if you don't mind.   

I've bottled up a couple of extra parachute potions too if anyone wants to buy one. Take it down a hill and it's a little like moon walking which is fun.

Ivy I don't have much cash, but I could maybe make a picnic if you want to get together for lunch.  Let me know.

[Video clicks on right as someone in jeans, cowboy boots and a T-shirt that says "+20 Shirt of Smiting" across it, sits down in the fountain. Harry is looking particularly unkempt like maybe he hasn't washed in uh... a few months. Because he's been mostly dead. He got 'not dead' only a little while ago so it's totally not his fault. Well ok it kind of is. Anyway, he jumps right back up with a shout of protest. ]

Hey! Stars and stones that's... uh... not as cold as it should be.

[He realizes he is no longer at the edge of an Island at the south end of Lake Michigan. And that is about the time a long stick drops out of the sky and beans him across the head. There is cursing. Luckily the video fuzzes enough that people can't be TOO offended by it. Between bits of snow he picks up the staff from the water and frowns at it.]

I thought you bit the dust. What the hell is going on?

[And now he realizes he's not even in Chicago. And this is definitely not the Nevernever. Unless they got a really creative ghost taking up residency. He stomps toward the edge of the water which is still doing a decent job of grounding his magic out and letting that device keep broadcasting.]

Huh, someone dropped their... phone? Thing? Did phones change again? I can't keep up with this crap. What's the red light mean? Hell's bells,  did I break it already?