[Sup good Cityfolk. Groose is chilling out by himself in Xanadu- except he's not actually by himself. There are a bunch of little colorful birds gathered on his shoulders. One even perches on the top of his pompadour. His expression is pensive, which...says a lot, coming from him. (also, BIRDS.)

He still doesn't quite trust the network devices, buuuut...if this is how he's gotta talk to people, he'll just suck it up.]

I don't know what I was expecting when I came to the Surface but this is the furthest thing from it. How can you people stand being rooted to the ground? It's not natural. And then, to top it off this disgusting, worm-infested cake, there are curses running rampant and gods acting like snot-nosed tyrants and-

[crossing his arms and HUFFING- the birds still don't move!!]

And the worst part of all is I'm marooned here while Link's off doing who-knows-what. He might've rescued Zelda by now for all I know, that little pea-brained gnat. Ugh, just the thought of him bragging and carrying on about how close they are and how happy he is that he was able to find her makes me downright sick.

[HUFF HUFF HUFF. peering at the device.]

I don't even know why I'm baring my soul to you, box. Seems pretty pointless.

[let us hope the volume on your devices is set to the lowest level possible, City, otherwise you're going to be treated to a very loud- MANLY -shriek. followed by an equally loud thud. someone just pulled off a stellar swan-dive...onto the pavement.

Enjoy the brief silence.]

Ughhhhhhhhh- [groan, shuffle shuffle] Link, seriously, whoever taught you how to make a smooth landing totally screwed u-

[sharply inhaled breath. now would be a good time to turn that volume down if you hadn't already.]

WHAT- WHAT ARE ALL THESE BUILDINGS???!!!? THEY'RE HUGE! Wait... [another violent inhale] Are those- I DON'T KNOW WHAT THOSE ARE. THEY'RE MOVING. On...poles? Why is there music coming out of them?

There's not supposed to be anything on the surface and yet I see weird...things EVERYWHERE. WHAT IS GOING ON.

[pause]

Link.

[pauuuuuuuuse]

Hey, buddy. Link. Hey. This isn't the time for a juvenile game of hide-and-seek. Get your green beanied self over here. I'm not kidding. You need to tell me where Zelda is. Now.

[pauuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuse]

Link???

[pauuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuse]

LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINK-

[mercifully, the feed is cut off.]