154 DIAGNOSIS

[vicodincrutch]

 A word to the wise, keep out of these jerk's clutches.

The very conniving one. Charmus Jerkus. Typically recognized by smooth complexion and fair hair. While not exactly strong, this one thrives on the element of surprise.

The one that waits until your guard is down. Kodakus Teddibearus. Seen as cute and nonthreatening, that can be a fatal mistake. The female of the species is more deadly then the male they say. At least her intentions are seen easier than Charmus Jerkus.

The one that will get you at every turn. Derjuden Maxima. The deadliest one of them all. Why? Because he's only helping.

Comments

[bedsidemanners]

This might be the only informative post I've seen all day.

[vicodincrutch]

You're welcome. I forgot to say watch your front and your back.

[bedsidemanners]

I figured that one out by experience.

[vicodincrutch]

What's the damage, Sport?

[bedsidemanners]

My favorite sportscoat.

[vicodincrutch]

Tragedy. My deepest condolences. We all gotta go sometimes.

[trenchknives]

Dr. Wilson doesn't seem too deadly to me, but hey, I guess it's possible.

[vicodincrutch]

Seem. That's the word to pay attention to. Do skunks look stinky? No.

[trenchknives]

I guess you're right. Skunks're kinda cute.

[A pause.]

Not that Dr. Wilson's cute like a skunk.

[vicodincrutch]

He stinks. Let's be real here.

[trenchknives]

Literally or figuratively? Or both?

[vicodincrutch]

Figuratively speaking. He's so full of it that I don't see why he doesn't smell.

[trenchknives]

Just outta curiosity, can you give me an example of him bein' full of it?

[dr_conscience]

Oh yes, and certainly everyone should trust your word. We all know you're capable of nothing but the utmost integrity.

[vicodincrutch]

If I stab, I stab for the front. Tell me more about integrity.

[dr_conscience]

Oh, is that where you were aiming when you broke into my office and stole my prescription pad? You know, you might want to look into target practice.

[vicodincrutch]

Any more so than chronic pain? Oh yeah. That is totally my fault. Absolutely. And my own fault for keeping company with people who cave immediately under pressure especially when it has a badge.

[dr_conscience]

Right, I caved immediately. Which is why I spent weeks lying to the cops for you and got my entire life shut down.

[vicodincrutch]

You had no faith in me. That's what you're saying? I put all my trust into you, into your advice and the best that I could do was disregard it because you don't have any ballsy ideas anymore.

[dr_conscience]

You stole a dead man's medication, nearly maimed a child, punched Chase. And in the end, I still ended up refusing to go through with anything against you. I don't know what you could call that other than an act of faith - and that's after you did exactly nothing for me when I had no car, no practice, and no money. Though I suppose that's really my fault for ever thinking you might finally start giving a damn about how your actions affect other people.

[vicodincrutch]

What did you want me to do? Wave a magic wand and have all of my own issues vanish so yours would too by proxy? If I gave you anything, that would be the transparent proof that you were a co-conspirator.

You know--knew I was in constant pain and I had no choice but to resort to other methods.

[dr_conscience]

You could have tried something other than mockery. Though, you're right, of course. Giving someone a ride is a definite sign that they're an accomplice.

And yes, I know you're in pain. I also know that you're an addict.

[ he is seriously going to hate this curse tomorrow ]

text;

[perjured]

Chase seems nice enough to me. What happened for him to get on your bad side?

text;

[vicodincrutch]

Oh he's nice. At first. That's how he gains your confidence.

text;

[perjured]

You make it sound like he's a con artist.

[ Which, okay, he could be. It's not like Shay knows him very well. ]

[as_damaged]

I can't think of anything funnier than you trying to claim the moral high ground.

[vicodincrutch]

The facts speak for themselves. Though I know you won't do much stabbing today, you'll be hitting every target you mean to.

[as_damaged]

I'll be sure not to turn my back on you.

[She might sneak up behind you, but that's another matter...]