[ Just the most withering stare. ]

This isn't funny.

And I don't like cookies that much.

.................Do I?

(♥ Tabloid Trash Article: The Rise & Fall Of a Star ♥)

[ OOC: The link takes you to another journal, as the article is long and full of crack. Lots of crack. None of the fodder is meant to be taken seriously. But if any aspects are offensive, PM me and I'll add a warning or something :| ]

[ What. The. Fuck. ]

WHY WOULD I HOST MY OWN COOKING SHOW?!

I DON'T EVEN EAT!!!

( The City disagrees, Karl.... )

[OOC: Disclaimer. The image is from Deviantart. Not mine, but ain't it shiny? c: ]

I'm just gonna officially state, for the record...

[He gestures to the crumpled up tabloid which, unfortunately, possesses an article all about him and how he is, apparently, extremely suspicious and potentially a criminal, and, apparently, sleeping with half the women in the City. Whether any of this gets close to the truth or not, he's not exactly happy about it, especially given the ridiculous photos of him making idiotic faces.]

... this shit? It ain't funny. 'n anyone who found the time to write about it should go jump in a fuckin' lake.

[Unsatisfied with just crumpling the tabloid, he then pushes it off the table onto the floor, shakes his head, and turns off the feed.]

This is - I don't understand! I know haven't upset anyone for the past months, I mean - why would you even bother to write this about someone who's done nothing but be unremarkable?

['This' being an article in the tabloid with a page full of random pictures of Peter out and about in the City. He could be reading something, eating something, frowning or smiling, entering or leaving an establishment. Your regular paparazzi collection of picture cutouts brandished with warnings of HEARTBREAKER!! and vague reports of past relationships where he supposedly dumped his significant others for shallow reasons. Names like Edward Collin, Kathy Stewart, Hugh Scarpa are featured on the article, along with rumors that Peter now has his eyes set on a certain Li Shenshung, Eden Cionaoith, Jimmy Darmondy, and that he's been exchanging French love letters with a certain Marie Delacroix.]

And where did you get these pictures of me? I - this is disturbing. Alarmingly disturbing. The last thing I need is a stalker who - writes these things about people. This is absolute garbage, you know that? So, whoever you are, take it back and leave me alone. and leave them alone. Preferably immediately.

[deep breath.]

I know you, don't you? From back home. How else would you - [fbahdsdfh. His head hurts. He never wants to see this page again.] None of this is true, by the way. I can guarantee it - so. So I'm going to put this down and pretend it never happened. Let's just go with that, shall we? Thank you.

[THE NERVE. THE NEEERVE.]

[At least this time it's not just Yin's piano and a moth. No, this time she's there, speaking. In fact, she's probably about to speak more than all of her entries to date combined.]

Penny, from the Welcome Center, likes both Steve Rogers and Robert Chase, but Steve isn't interested. She thinks highly of James Wilson, but not in a romantic sense.

Nyota Uhura is seeing a therapist. Details are unknown for what reason.

Justin Pendleton collects flowers, with orchids currently favored. [She looks puzzled at this point, though her confusion might not be noticeable to most, being that it's just a fraction widening of her eyes. Why is she blabbering all of this? It might give her proclivities away.]

Laruna Troven is capable of turning water into wine, and drinks wine much the same way other people consume water.

[And to finish it all off, Yin still looking a little uncomfortable (for a Doll):] And Arthur Pendragon has a penchant for buying blue-raspberry slushies on a regular basis.

[A pause.] This curse is intrusive. [Yeah, a Doll just judged a curse, though still with her usual flat tone and blank stare expression. She's also turning off her device before she can say anything else. Too many secrets to keep.]

[Accidental video. Charlie's had no desire to show her face at all. She's worked in the back room at the Dragon, only coming out to train employees and handle customer complaints. So when the video kicks on, she's outside in the back yard of her residence.

The animals are running around her, sniffing at the bags of dirt she has and the small seedlings sitting nearby. She's studying a piece of paper and a part of the back yard that's been roped off and dug up, occasionally glancing up at the patch of dirt long enough to point vaguely and mutter to herself. Gwaine approaches. He's obviously been bouncing around in the dirt because he's a mess. Charlie grins when she sees him, picking him up and looking at the squirming dog.]

It's the king of the dirt mountain!

[Gwaine barks, tail wagging furiously.] I don't think I gave the tomatoes enough room. Might have to do more digging.

[She sets the dog down and he bounds over to the device, tackling it and growling playfully. Charlie looks over and sighs, grabbing the device and simply switching it off.

Two moments later, there is a private message for Rapunzel and Ken.]

[Private to: Rapunzel and Ken.]

What do you two know about gardening? This is bigger than the rooftop garden I had last year and I'd love your help.

I hate to point out the obvious, but everyone posting to deny the rumors is only adding a massive amount of fuel to the fire. Sometimes the only damage control you've got at your disposal is the ability to stay quiet about it yourself. I don't see the point in ruining that, especially if the claims are ridiculous anyway. You're only painting targets on your backs.

[pause]

At any rate. I've spent longer getting acclimatized than I've needed. I assume there's a hospital somewhere around this City. Tell me, are there any openings for doctors there? If so, I'd be happy to provide a demonstration of my skills. I've spent almost all of my life in the medical field, and my expertise is unparalleled, I promise you.

[He laughs, dryly.]

I might even manage a few character references.

Lia, I hope you're settling in well. Let me know if you need anything.