When I was seventeen years old, I remember it seemed as though all I could think about was how things would be on the day I turned eighteen. It was rather an important birthday, you know. That is--of course, it'd be important to anyone, but it was especially so for me, I think, because turning eighteen meant starting to think about being married, and there was to be a great grand ball for me, and dancing, and all sorts of things. Mother would've arranged all of it, and she's really just magnificent with parties and that sort of thing. And I remember I was a bit, er...well, nervous about the whole business. I suppose anyone would be, thinking about being married and all, hoping to find the right person and so on and so forth.
It was almost my birthday, I remember, when the dragon came. And then I wasn't thinking about dancing and parties and marriage anymore. I was only thinking that it had demanded a maiden sacrifice, and someone had to go, and it was my kingdom and my duty and if I
didn't then some other poor girl would have to and...
Well, it ended up that I rather stopped thinking about being eighteen at all, really. I didn't...think it'd matter, either way, since I wouldn't be around to see it.
I never did turn eighteen, back home. Oh, er--not because of the dragon, thankfully! My twin brother showed up just in time and rather saved the day and me both. But the day I came to the City, it was only about thirty-six hours after I went to the dragon; I fell out of Daventry and into the Fountain on the morning of the second day after I thought I'd be its dinner. And when I did, it was August here, and so then I found myself waiting another seven months still before my birthday came around. And it did come around, and...well, then it came around again, and again, and again still. And now here it is again, the same as always on the first day of spring.
It's strange to think that someday, if--really, I'm not sure if I ought to say
when or
if at this point, but perhaps it'd be better to say
when--someday, when I go back home to Daventry, I'll find myself at seventeen again, just a few days away from my birthday. It seems a bit silly now, the things I thought and worried about at seventeen. Before the dragon came, I think my greatest worries were that I might end up a spinster or be an unfit queen! That all seems so terribly silly now that I think about it like this, looking back. But I suppose that's really just a part of growing up, isn't it?
Most years, I make it a point to have a great mysterious countdown to the first day of spring, or I'll say it's my brother's birthday without also mentioning that we're twins, and so that makes it mine, too. But this year that seems a bit silly, too, and mostly I'm just happy to see spring come around again, and to think back on all the wonderful birthdays I've had before this one, and...and just how lucky I am, really. For as awful as the City can be--and it's been terribly awful, there's no way around that--I'm still glad I'm here, and that I've been here. I met my best friend here, and people I've considered as close as family, and learned so much from the people I've known and really just...become better for it. I'm glad for that.
Oh, and I suppose it's fair to say there's someone a bit glad for me, too, if the packages that came to my door this morning are any indication.
But! Just because I kept from saying anything about my birthday before now certainly doesn't mean I don't intend to celebrate it. So I think first I'll keep up my usual tradition of paying a visit to Ellington, and then tonight we'll have cake at the Blue Light--and Edmund would howl, but we'll have all the drinks for a discount, too. It's one of those funny cakes that bakery in the square is famous for, the ones made with the pie inside? And I
still don't know how they manage it, by the way, but I doubt they'd tell me the secret even if I did say they ought to since it's my birthday.