[Blood and gore cover the foliage. Pirate pieces litter the ground. Standing in the midst of carnage, is a pristine angel. Although there's not so much as a red drop on his person, the large blade he holds sports a thick fresh coat.

Points dripping tip right at the viewer.] First and last warning: No booty of any sort to be had from me.


(FYI: Wiped out raiding NPC crew of Calypso's Nightmare.)

[Lieutenant Robert Chase of the Royal Navy at your service, gentlemen. Before you laugh at the flouncy bow round his neck or the pretty braids in his hair, you might want to pay attention to the finely crafted sword he has belted at his waist.

Or either of the pistols, really.]


So the reports were true. This city really has gone to the dogs.

Fair warning to those who would sail under a pirate flag. These waters are the property of Her Majesty's Navy and we will see them rid of their polluting taint. The dissolute and the immoral, thieves, pirates and savages should throw themselves upon the mercy of the Crown now, or I'll make it my personal duty to see your hides tanning on the harbourside. There may be redemption for some of you yet.

But very few, I'll wager.

Come then, who will fight and who will flee? I have a spot to fill on the gallows in the morning.

[ So you're on a boat, you're on a boat
Take a good hard look
At the bloody awesome pirate boat. As it seems to be Kanye-shrugging on its way into the beautiful horizon.

The camera rooooooolls on board, hits someone's spare glass eye, stumbles across a treasure box holding only two gold pieces and a hastily scribbled "I BE OWIN YE message tucked in, and finally focuses on First Mate Thor the... Terrible? fussing on deck, because - ]

Captain on booooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaard.

[ The camera takes a brief dip in a rum bucket, but floats right back up to show... a hatted bear sniffing the deck, turning to stare deeply and meaningfully in the horizon, then promptly heading for the cabin for its 3927204789th nap.

There is silence. Some awkward clapping. Polite coughing. Then, Thor is done translating instructions:]

Aye! T' Cap'n be saying: sharpen'em knives, kiss t'Luck Token, and be bleedin' them scallywags who hoist their Crown colours. Girl! Get the lass with the hair, there be treasure in the... sea... somewhere, t' Cap'n gone smelled it. Ready t'mermaid, and -

[ ...oh snap, is that an upcoming whale in the distance.

Oh. Oh, no, no. Thank God. That, ladies and gentlemen, is a kraken. But don't you worry: it just wants to make friends. ]

- ...don't be hitting t' kraken.


[ ooc: OKAY, SO. Absolutely anyone is welcome to crash on the Hringhorni at any point, idc how characters get here: they were here all along, they float in on a raft previously stuck in the middle of the ocean, they were drunk and stuck in a mackerel barrel with the rest of supplies, a giant eagle drops them on deck, they burst free from the insides of a captured shark - idk and idc, just jump right in, it's an anyone threadjack everyone kind of thing. ]

( current crew; )