[Filtered from Known DELILAH Members || Unhackable]I realised this morning that I'd given precious little thought to the ordeals of last week. In particular, it was that realisation that struck me more than the ordeals themselves.
A curse quite literally exploded in the midst of the City and I scarcely paid it any mind.
I know full well why I didn't: I was quite sure that, somehow or other, it would be resolved. And, if there were to be trouble to follow, then there would be trouble to follow. I had a plan in mind already. So perhaps I did pay it some mind. And yet, it didn't trouble me.
When I first arrived here, more than six years ago, I never would have expected that should grow so accustomed to this place, that the curses would become an annoyance more than anything, but an annoyance more akin to bad weather rather than something worthy of being called a 'curse'. Even a curse exploding struck me more like a storm to be weathered than anything.
No, I never expected that I should grow so accustomed to this place, going about my routine here, with half of it being so much like my life in London and half of it learnt from my time here in the City.
I recall what it was like when I arrived, so I do sympathise with anyone who's newly come to the City. I do recall the confusion and anxiety that was rather ever-present in those first days and weeks. It was no small thing to become even moderately accustomed to life in the City, with the curses and the 'deities' and all else.
And yet, I've been here for so long that perhaps there's nothing yet left that the City can do to surprise me. I've seen 'deities' come and go, and now I've seen the whole set of them go, to be replaced by a handful of I'm not sure what. Something better than the 'stewards,' I'm sure, but I think I'm the only one who remembers them as well.
Each individual trouble is trouble enough, to be sure. And I am certainly looking towards October with enough concern--for those who don't know, October is somewhat infamous in the City for its particularly gruesome curses, so do consider yourselves warned.
But I wonder sometimes if I
am ever to go home. Or has the City itself chosen me for its own. I refuse to believe in things like fate and destiny. Nor will I submit quietly to the will of another--even if that 'other' might be the City itself.
But I do wonder sometimes. And it troubles me now to realise how very slowly and very quietly I've become so accustomed to this place. And how I must refuse that, if I am to accomplish what I must--either here or in London.
I wonder if it would do me well to revisit the places I went when I was first here, to remind myself of what I vowed then and what I must remember now.
~C.
[ooc: I'm sorry I've been so quiet with Cain lately. Please do come talk to him ;; He needs new CR after having been here 6+ years! Also, no, he isn't cursed today...but one never knows who he might encounter~]