Dr. Greg House, MD
17 August 2012 @ 12:01 am
After the most recent curse you may have:
  • Gradual but apparent fatigue
  • Loss of appetite
  • Sore throat
  • Swollen lymph nodes
  • Rash
  • Swollen liver 

Do any of these ring a bell? Yes? Congratulations, you have mono. Now you can bother a doctor. Why? Because Mono can have complications. Complications are interesting. I want them. You can come along too if you absolutely have to.

If you have:
  • Dry lips
  • Anxiousness
  • Remorse
  • Bad taste in your mouth
  • Over salivation
  • Bruises
Then you're a lousy kisser and should feel bad for yourself.