016 [TEXT]

[iwasherefirst]

How to have sex with a Time Lord

1. Patience. Lots of patience.

2. Help him save the universe multiple times, saving his life personally in the process if necessary.

3. Don't be afraid to stand up to him and let him know when he's crossing the line. He has to know you're not scared of him even if you are scared of what he's capable of. There's a difference

4. When he abandons you for your own good, don't stay abandoned. There's a difference between patience with him and waiting for something that's not going to come. You're not the first one he's left behind so be the first one that crosses universes to find him.

5. Rewrite time.

6. Make him regenerate. Not on purpose. It's better if he does it in order to save you or the universe. I'm still a bit fuzzy on which he was doing.

7. Get locked in a universe with him. This helps because he has to slow down enough to realize it's a possibility.

8. Be patient. Let him know how you feel but don't be pushy about it.

9. Make sure that he knows you know how he feels about you too.

10. Let him know he's worth it. All of it: Monsters, danger, the universe.

11. Helps if you figure out that whole feelings transfer thing. Personally, I sort of think we were on track anyway, that just pushed it along.

12. Don't be afraid to take charge, take a stand and lay down some rules. This ties in a bit with not being afraid to stand up to him.

13. Write a letter to Santa Claus.

14. Bit padding my ego here, but I think it helps to be me.

Comments

voice;

[leathered]

Rose! Is this really necessary?

voice;

[iwasherefirst]

[There's the hissing sound of a wince.]

Sorry. No. curse.

voice;

[leathered]

And lemme guess: you can't delete it. [ This is a facepalm, Rose. ]

...Well, so long as no one takes it as instructions.

voice;

[the_dawnster]

Hi! I'm Dawn Summers and I heard you're The Doctor. Rose says I should say hi to you because I think Time Lord's sound like the fun kind of cool. Plus... interesting.

voice;

[leathered]

Blimey, you sound like a child. Rose! What in the world are you doing?

[ He's the grumpy Time Lord, sorry. ]

[text]

[ex_bloodcakedarmor707]

You put a lot of thought into that. Pretty amusing.

[text]

[iwasherefirst]

Dependin' on how you look at it, I've been at for the last four years or since Pompeii. Had a lot of time to think 'bout it.

[text]

[ex_bloodcakedarmor707]

Pompeii? What do you mean?

[ voice ]

[the_dawnster]

Ohmigosh this list is so awesome! It kind of makes me wanna have a Time Lord of my own cause it sounds so exciting and fun! Like a huge adventure only you get to be a part of the adventure instead of living through it vicariously. Can I have a Time Lord?

[ voice ]

[iwasherefirst]

Doctor's the last one but I'll introduce you to his earlier regeneration. He'd could use the boost to his ego.

[ voice ]

[the_dawnster]

Doctor's the last what? Huh? What? Regeneration? I'm trying to follow but it sounds like your brain is all hedge-mazey like mine is.

[pterosaur]

That...

Sounds like it's less about the sex and more about the "getting him to agree to sleep with you" kind of thing.

[Dryly] Not that I'm complaining.

[iwasherefirst]

Well the sex is pretty normal considerin' he's an alien. Amazin' but technically, mostly normal.

[pterosaur]

Maybe you should change the title of the piece, then. False advertising.

[am_i_being_rude]

[There is a squeaky noise and somewhere a fairly red faced Time Lord finding a hole to crawl into.]

Rooose!

[iwasherefirst]

What? Sorry. 'Least I kept it PG?

[am_i_being_rude]

Somehow that's really not helping that much.

text;

[threadthefire]

Very informative.

text;

[iwasherefirst]

[Well now she's embarrassed. She considers Cinna her friend and while he's well aware of how weird her 'family' is, she is still embarrassed that he knows anything about her sex life.]

At least you know how to seduce a Time Lord now?

text;

[threadthefire]

I'm certain it will come in handy someday.

[redlikecrimson]

...How...nice.

[iwasherefirst]

Sorry [So much embarrassment.] Cursed.

[redlikecrimson]

It's going around today.

video;

[stopbleepingme]

[ GIGGLING. ]

Oooh you're probably all pink in the face right now! C'mon, let's have a peek.

video;

[iwasherefirst]

[Okay, well now Rose is giggling too. They really are like teenage girls. She flips on the video to show that yes, she is pink and giggling and attempting to sort of hide it in her hair.]

Sorta brilliant the way it worked though, yeah?