016 [TEXT]

[iwasherefirst]

How to have sex with a Time Lord

1. Patience. Lots of patience.

2. Help him save the universe multiple times, saving his life personally in the process if necessary.

3. Don't be afraid to stand up to him and let him know when he's crossing the line. He has to know you're not scared of him even if you are scared of what he's capable of. There's a difference

4. When he abandons you for your own good, don't stay abandoned. There's a difference between patience with him and waiting for something that's not going to come. You're not the first one he's left behind so be the first one that crosses universes to find him.

5. Rewrite time.

6. Make him regenerate. Not on purpose. It's better if he does it in order to save you or the universe. I'm still a bit fuzzy on which he was doing.

7. Get locked in a universe with him. This helps because he has to slow down enough to realize it's a possibility.

8. Be patient. Let him know how you feel but don't be pushy about it.

9. Make sure that he knows you know how he feels about you too.

10. Let him know he's worth it. All of it: Monsters, danger, the universe.

11. Helps if you figure out that whole feelings transfer thing. Personally, I sort of think we were on track anyway, that just pushed it along.

12. Don't be afraid to take charge, take a stand and lay down some rules. This ties in a bit with not being afraid to stand up to him.

13. Write a letter to Santa Claus.

14. Bit padding my ego here, but I think it helps to be me.

Comments

[iwasherefirst]

[Yes it does hinge very much on her mood. Now she wants to go camping.]

Yeah, funny how that works.

[She sticks her tongue out at him.] I was y'know. Just scrappy too.

[am_i_being_rude]

[He is definitely not really with the idea that humans should celebrate their own uniqueness and camp. In fact he points it out as being odd that out of everyone in the universe they stubbornly refuse to admit it just isn't fun.]

Looks like some things never change.

[iwasherefirst]

[Well, yes. Good point. Mostly she wants to sleep in a tent. In their living room with the fireplace and roasting smores would work.]

M'takin' that as a compliment.

[am_i_being_rude]

[They could even leave the door to the balcony open and almost make it legitimate.]

Oh, of course. Couldn't have been meant any other way.

[iwasherefirst]

[Oooh yes. Added to the list then.]

'Course it couldn't've. I'm very compliment friendly these days.

[Oh look. It's the Doctor's ego.]

[am_i_being_rude]

Compliment friendly, jeopardy friendly, and friendly friendly. All the friendlies covered quite well then.

[iwasherefirst]

M'well rounded y'know.

[am_i_being_rude]

Mmm, very well rounded. No sharp edges. But more the curvaceous kind of round over the rotund sort of round.

[iwasherefirst]

[That gets a 'cat ate the canary' grin sliding across her face.]

Yeah? Good sorta thing, right?

[am_i_being_rude]

Ohhh, I'd say curvaceous is a good sorta thing, yeah. Push it a step further into curvalicious - which I'm not saying again - and it starts sounding a bit definitely more on the good sorta things side of things.

[iwasherefirst]

[Now she's just going to laugh until she's crying. Hold please. She can hardly breathe, let alone talk.]

[am_i_being_rude]

[He's amused by her reaction but not totally sure why she's laughing so much.] What?

[iwasherefirst]

Curvalicious? [Still giggling so very much] Comin' from you it's...hilarious.

[am_i_being_rude]

Anything coming from me is the absolute truth. Apparently it's a good thing that I've already decided not to say it again, regardless.

[iwasherefirst]

Absolute truth then. [She doesn't necessarily believe you, Doctor but she will take that as a compliment despite how ridiculous the word is.]

Put that on my plaque. Gettin' quite long now. Dame Rose 'Curvalicious' Tyler, Master Entertainer of Time Lords, Shop Girl, Defender of the Earth and Bad Wolf.

[am_i_being_rude]

[He doesn't know where she got this 'non-truthful' idea from.]

Master Entertainer now, are you? We'll have to start writing it down. Getting to be a proper name at this rate; nice and explicative and bordering on the narrational.

[iwasherefirst]

[No idea at all. Couldn't possibly be the version before him and sending her home in the TARDIS and the way he lied to get her in there. Not that this version has really lied that much to her...she likes that bit. At least not that she's aware.]

Figger I do an awfully brilliant job of entertainin' you and now I've got the other you to entertain too in a whole different sorta way [thank God] Earned the title of Master.

[am_i_being_rude]

[Nope. Clearly not. The Doctor never lies.

HE THANKS YOU FOR THAT IMAGE.] Yes, entirely earned. Well earned. Over-earned, in any normal case, although I don't think it's possible to do that in this particular one. Grandmaster of Time Lord Entertainment.

[iwasherefirst]

[NO PROBLEM. She's glad she could entertain him]

Oooh see I like that one even better. Grandmaster of Time Lord Entertainment. Ought to come with a gold star and everythin'

[am_i_being_rude]

[She'll lose her title if she keeps entertaining him like that.]

We can get you a chart. Every time you're entertaining you get a star for the day.

[iwasherefirst]

[Hey now! She was making sure he knew he was a special snowflake Doctor.]

Ooooh like that idea. Whadda I get once I get a certain number of stars?

[am_i_being_rude]

[He hasn't thought that far ahead.] ...A new chart?

[iwasherefirst]

We've got to work on your motivation skills, Doctor. S'posed to be a tangible sorta reward at the end of all the gold stars. So many stars and we go out for chips and milkshakes or the like. [Not that they don't go out for chips and milkshakes on a regular basis...]

[am_i_being_rude]

How about since it's you doing all the entertaining and work, you pick whatever you want to do whenever you've got the stars. Although I, for one, am entirely in favour of chips and shakes.

[iwasherefirst]

Now see Doctor, that's motivation. Brilliant learnin' curve, there.