016 [TEXT]

[iwasherefirst]

How to have sex with a Time Lord

1. Patience. Lots of patience.

2. Help him save the universe multiple times, saving his life personally in the process if necessary.

3. Don't be afraid to stand up to him and let him know when he's crossing the line. He has to know you're not scared of him even if you are scared of what he's capable of. There's a difference

4. When he abandons you for your own good, don't stay abandoned. There's a difference between patience with him and waiting for something that's not going to come. You're not the first one he's left behind so be the first one that crosses universes to find him.

5. Rewrite time.

6. Make him regenerate. Not on purpose. It's better if he does it in order to save you or the universe. I'm still a bit fuzzy on which he was doing.

7. Get locked in a universe with him. This helps because he has to slow down enough to realize it's a possibility.

8. Be patient. Let him know how you feel but don't be pushy about it.

9. Make sure that he knows you know how he feels about you too.

10. Let him know he's worth it. All of it: Monsters, danger, the universe.

11. Helps if you figure out that whole feelings transfer thing. Personally, I sort of think we were on track anyway, that just pushed it along.

12. Don't be afraid to take charge, take a stand and lay down some rules. This ties in a bit with not being afraid to stand up to him.

13. Write a letter to Santa Claus.

14. Bit padding my ego here, but I think it helps to be me.

Comments

[iwasherefirst]

[Now she's just going to laugh until she's crying. Hold please. She can hardly breathe, let alone talk.]

[am_i_being_rude]

[He's amused by her reaction but not totally sure why she's laughing so much.] What?

[iwasherefirst]

Curvalicious? [Still giggling so very much] Comin' from you it's...hilarious.

[am_i_being_rude]

Anything coming from me is the absolute truth. Apparently it's a good thing that I've already decided not to say it again, regardless.

[iwasherefirst]

Absolute truth then. [She doesn't necessarily believe you, Doctor but she will take that as a compliment despite how ridiculous the word is.]

Put that on my plaque. Gettin' quite long now. Dame Rose 'Curvalicious' Tyler, Master Entertainer of Time Lords, Shop Girl, Defender of the Earth and Bad Wolf.

[am_i_being_rude]

[He doesn't know where she got this 'non-truthful' idea from.]

Master Entertainer now, are you? We'll have to start writing it down. Getting to be a proper name at this rate; nice and explicative and bordering on the narrational.

[iwasherefirst]

[No idea at all. Couldn't possibly be the version before him and sending her home in the TARDIS and the way he lied to get her in there. Not that this version has really lied that much to her...she likes that bit. At least not that she's aware.]

Figger I do an awfully brilliant job of entertainin' you and now I've got the other you to entertain too in a whole different sorta way [thank God] Earned the title of Master.

[am_i_being_rude]

[Nope. Clearly not. The Doctor never lies.

HE THANKS YOU FOR THAT IMAGE.] Yes, entirely earned. Well earned. Over-earned, in any normal case, although I don't think it's possible to do that in this particular one. Grandmaster of Time Lord Entertainment.

[iwasherefirst]

[NO PROBLEM. She's glad she could entertain him]

Oooh see I like that one even better. Grandmaster of Time Lord Entertainment. Ought to come with a gold star and everythin'

[am_i_being_rude]

[She'll lose her title if she keeps entertaining him like that.]

We can get you a chart. Every time you're entertaining you get a star for the day.

[iwasherefirst]

[Hey now! She was making sure he knew he was a special snowflake Doctor.]

Ooooh like that idea. Whadda I get once I get a certain number of stars?

[am_i_being_rude]

[He hasn't thought that far ahead.] ...A new chart?

[iwasherefirst]

We've got to work on your motivation skills, Doctor. S'posed to be a tangible sorta reward at the end of all the gold stars. So many stars and we go out for chips and milkshakes or the like. [Not that they don't go out for chips and milkshakes on a regular basis...]

[am_i_being_rude]

How about since it's you doing all the entertaining and work, you pick whatever you want to do whenever you've got the stars. Although I, for one, am entirely in favour of chips and shakes.

[iwasherefirst]

Now see Doctor, that's motivation. Brilliant learnin' curve, there.

[am_i_being_rude]

I've been known to have one. Very good motivator, me. All-source for pep talks and rousting and bandying the colours.

[iwasherefirst]

Oooh I like pep talks. Could do with a theme song.

[am_i_being_rude]

It's a good thing I'm already supposed to be learning the guitar then.

[iwasherefirst]

Oooh yeah. Get you to write it and all. How you feel 'bout learnin composin? Since the learnin' guitar and the like is goin' to be so easy.

[am_i_being_rude]

I already know composing! I've composed lots of things. Well, I've transcribed some things and composed some others. It's hard to tell what you've heard before sometimes.

[iwasherefirst]

Yeah? Then somethin' original won't be too much to ask. [She's all smarmy and smirky now.]

this predictably escalated to me trying to come up with something on the guitar for the last hour.

[am_i_being_rude]

[Oh the smarmy and smirky is definitely making him rise to the challenge with smugness and superiority.] Definitely not. I'll just have to buy the guitar and learn it and then compose the perfect theme tune for a cannonballer. Easy.

ahaha sorry!! At least you got your creativity time in for the week?

[iwasherefirst]

[Of course it does. It wouldn't be him otherwise. Smug and superior is met with a laugh from her.]

That what I am, then? A cannonballer?

Actually got something that isn't that bad, but not very Rosey.

[am_i_being_rude]

Extra-special. Inter-universal cannonballer. And probably to some degree intra, at least once. But yeah, a cannonballer.

\o/ Still very much a SCORE

[iwasherefirst]

Well that's definitely goin' on my plaque.