016 [TEXT]

[iwasherefirst]

How to have sex with a Time Lord

1. Patience. Lots of patience.

2. Help him save the universe multiple times, saving his life personally in the process if necessary.

3. Don't be afraid to stand up to him and let him know when he's crossing the line. He has to know you're not scared of him even if you are scared of what he's capable of. There's a difference

4. When he abandons you for your own good, don't stay abandoned. There's a difference between patience with him and waiting for something that's not going to come. You're not the first one he's left behind so be the first one that crosses universes to find him.

5. Rewrite time.

6. Make him regenerate. Not on purpose. It's better if he does it in order to save you or the universe. I'm still a bit fuzzy on which he was doing.

7. Get locked in a universe with him. This helps because he has to slow down enough to realize it's a possibility.

8. Be patient. Let him know how you feel but don't be pushy about it.

9. Make sure that he knows you know how he feels about you too.

10. Let him know he's worth it. All of it: Monsters, danger, the universe.

11. Helps if you figure out that whole feelings transfer thing. Personally, I sort of think we were on track anyway, that just pushed it along.

12. Don't be afraid to take charge, take a stand and lay down some rules. This ties in a bit with not being afraid to stand up to him.

13. Write a letter to Santa Claus.

14. Bit padding my ego here, but I think it helps to be me.

Comments

voice;

[leathered]

Rose! Is this really necessary?

voice;

[iwasherefirst]

[There's the hissing sound of a wince.]

Sorry. No. curse.

[text]

[ex_bloodcakedarmor707]

You put a lot of thought into that. Pretty amusing.

[ voice ]

[the_dawnster]

Ohmigosh this list is so awesome! It kind of makes me wanna have a Time Lord of my own cause it sounds so exciting and fun! Like a huge adventure only you get to be a part of the adventure instead of living through it vicariously. Can I have a Time Lord?

[pterosaur]

That...

Sounds like it's less about the sex and more about the "getting him to agree to sleep with you" kind of thing.

[Dryly] Not that I'm complaining.

[text]

[iwasherefirst]

Dependin' on how you look at it, I've been at for the last four years or since Pompeii. Had a lot of time to think 'bout it.

[ voice ]

[iwasherefirst]

Doctor's the last one but I'll introduce you to his earlier regeneration. He'd could use the boost to his ego.

[iwasherefirst]

Well the sex is pretty normal considerin' he's an alien. Amazin' but technically, mostly normal.

[pterosaur]

Maybe you should change the title of the piece, then. False advertising.

[am_i_being_rude]

[There is a squeaky noise and somewhere a fairly red faced Time Lord finding a hole to crawl into.]

Rooose!

[ voice ]

[the_dawnster]

Doctor's the last what? Huh? What? Regeneration? I'm trying to follow but it sounds like your brain is all hedge-mazey like mine is.

text;

[threadthefire]

Very informative.

[text]

[ex_bloodcakedarmor707]

Pompeii? What do you mean?

[iwasherefirst]

Hmmm y'think people are lookin' in here for porn?

[iwasherefirst]

What? Sorry. 'Least I kept it PG?

[ voice ]

[iwasherefirst]

Oh. Sorry. Maybe a bit?

The Doctor is a Time Lord. That's his name, the Doctor. Time Lord is his species so...he's alien. Instead of dyin', when he's hurt really bad, he regenerates. That means he changes; his face, body, voice, some minor bits of his personality all change but he's still the same man, same memories and experiences.

M'really lucky. I've got both regenerations that I know here and I love 'em both so much but I'm only in love with and datin' the second one. The first one is more like...my best friend.

Make more sense?

[pterosaur]

I'm thinking the title gives the wrong expectation.

text;

[iwasherefirst]

[Well now she's embarrassed. She considers Cinna her friend and while he's well aware of how weird her 'family' is, she is still embarrassed that he knows anything about her sex life.]

At least you know how to seduce a Time Lord now?

[text]

[iwasherefirst]

Bit complicated. [She's going to go with the occum's razor approach even if it's leaving out a ton of details]

I'm a time traveler. I met him four years ago chronologically but I've been trying to get to him or back to him as early as Pompeii.

text;

[threadthefire]

I'm certain it will come in handy someday.

[iwasherefirst]

Maybe it oughta be 'how to seduce a Time Lord'

[am_i_being_rude]

Somehow that's really not helping that much.

text;

[iwasherefirst]

In this place, you never know.

[pterosaur]

Hmm!

[...idea.]

[iwasherefirst]

Sorry! Still sorry. [She actually sounds it but it's more in a 'god I'm embarrassed' way rather than a crushed sort of way]

'Least m'not givin' out secrets? Since you're the last one and m'not goin' to let anyone get anywhere near seducin' you.