016 [TEXT]

[iwasherefirst]

How to have sex with a Time Lord

1. Patience. Lots of patience.

2. Help him save the universe multiple times, saving his life personally in the process if necessary.

3. Don't be afraid to stand up to him and let him know when he's crossing the line. He has to know you're not scared of him even if you are scared of what he's capable of. There's a difference

4. When he abandons you for your own good, don't stay abandoned. There's a difference between patience with him and waiting for something that's not going to come. You're not the first one he's left behind so be the first one that crosses universes to find him.

5. Rewrite time.

6. Make him regenerate. Not on purpose. It's better if he does it in order to save you or the universe. I'm still a bit fuzzy on which he was doing.

7. Get locked in a universe with him. This helps because he has to slow down enough to realize it's a possibility.

8. Be patient. Let him know how you feel but don't be pushy about it.

9. Make sure that he knows you know how he feels about you too.

10. Let him know he's worth it. All of it: Monsters, danger, the universe.

11. Helps if you figure out that whole feelings transfer thing. Personally, I sort of think we were on track anyway, that just pushed it along.

12. Don't be afraid to take charge, take a stand and lay down some rules. This ties in a bit with not being afraid to stand up to him.

13. Write a letter to Santa Claus.

14. Bit padding my ego here, but I think it helps to be me.

Comments

idk I can just see Rose being a bit of a fighter as a teenager

[iwasherefirst]

[Well he said he'd meant it sarcastically so she's willing to take him at his word there. There are certain things, as he's experienced, she has no problem being angry with him about. Being perturbed at a curse and snapping about it, isn't one of them. Not once he's realised that snapping was unnecessary.]

Kissed my boyfriend in the hall and called me a slut. Bit backwards if you ask me.

oh, yeah, under the right circumstances, she seems like she's always been

[am_i_being_rude]

[Very true. He'll probably apologise again later but in a much more roundabout manner, because... he does. It's obvious it wasn't something she did on purpose, regardless of how either one of them feels about it and how logically they do.

That goes a decent way toward lightening things. Mostly because he has a hard time keeping his amusement reigned in.] Quite. Almost entirely. You broke her nose? What did you hit her with?

And teenage girls are so dramatic anyway

[iwasherefirst]

[She usually gets the point with his roundabout apologies. No, not on purpose. Although you might not realise that from the way she and Donna are giggling.

She thought it might.]

Blood everywhere. With my fist. Cracked my knuckles too. My hand got all black and blue and swelled up. Mum was angry for 'bout five seconds then she was threatenin' to knock Cathy's mum around a bit.

teenage anything is dramatic

[am_i_being_rude]

[Yeah, if he knew all the giggling they got up to he'd probably just get a tent and stay at work.]

Owww. I did that the other day, with the fist and all. Hurts so much more than I'm expecting it to, no matter how many times I do it.

Bad day to be a Ms. Jordan, sounds like.

Excellent point

[iwasherefirst]

[Psssh like she'd let that happen. He'd crawl in his tent to find her there or, worst case scenario, she'd be angry at him. Not coming home is not keeping up his end of the deal. Whatever deal that is. The secret, unspoken, relationship deal they have. Also the attached at the hip deal they have.]

S'xactly! Looks so easy on the films. [She grins a bit nostalgically.] Just a bit.

[am_i_being_rude]

[I doubt he'd mind finding her in his tent since it would mean she and Donna weren't giggling. However, finding an angry her in his tent would not be the best day.]

I think somehow in the moment you're only thinking about the pain you're about to inflict on the person you want to feel pain, and not about the fact that you're about to slam sensitive solids into also-sensitive-but-thankfully-neurologically-not-yours solids. Somehow it slips the mind.

[The nostalgic grin gets one of those amused snorts.] Darling little girl.

[iwasherefirst]

[Yes it does hinge very much on her mood. Now she wants to go camping.]

Yeah, funny how that works.

[She sticks her tongue out at him.] I was y'know. Just scrappy too.

[am_i_being_rude]

[He is definitely not really with the idea that humans should celebrate their own uniqueness and camp. In fact he points it out as being odd that out of everyone in the universe they stubbornly refuse to admit it just isn't fun.]

Looks like some things never change.

[iwasherefirst]

[Well, yes. Good point. Mostly she wants to sleep in a tent. In their living room with the fireplace and roasting smores would work.]

M'takin' that as a compliment.

[am_i_being_rude]

[They could even leave the door to the balcony open and almost make it legitimate.]

Oh, of course. Couldn't have been meant any other way.

[iwasherefirst]

[Oooh yes. Added to the list then.]

'Course it couldn't've. I'm very compliment friendly these days.

[Oh look. It's the Doctor's ego.]

[am_i_being_rude]

Compliment friendly, jeopardy friendly, and friendly friendly. All the friendlies covered quite well then.

[iwasherefirst]

M'well rounded y'know.

[am_i_being_rude]

Mmm, very well rounded. No sharp edges. But more the curvaceous kind of round over the rotund sort of round.

[iwasherefirst]

[That gets a 'cat ate the canary' grin sliding across her face.]

Yeah? Good sorta thing, right?

[am_i_being_rude]

Ohhh, I'd say curvaceous is a good sorta thing, yeah. Push it a step further into curvalicious - which I'm not saying again - and it starts sounding a bit definitely more on the good sorta things side of things.

[iwasherefirst]

[Now she's just going to laugh until she's crying. Hold please. She can hardly breathe, let alone talk.]

[am_i_being_rude]

[He's amused by her reaction but not totally sure why she's laughing so much.] What?

[iwasherefirst]

Curvalicious? [Still giggling so very much] Comin' from you it's...hilarious.

[am_i_being_rude]

Anything coming from me is the absolute truth. Apparently it's a good thing that I've already decided not to say it again, regardless.

[iwasherefirst]

Absolute truth then. [She doesn't necessarily believe you, Doctor but she will take that as a compliment despite how ridiculous the word is.]

Put that on my plaque. Gettin' quite long now. Dame Rose 'Curvalicious' Tyler, Master Entertainer of Time Lords, Shop Girl, Defender of the Earth and Bad Wolf.

[am_i_being_rude]

[He doesn't know where she got this 'non-truthful' idea from.]

Master Entertainer now, are you? We'll have to start writing it down. Getting to be a proper name at this rate; nice and explicative and bordering on the narrational.

[iwasherefirst]

[No idea at all. Couldn't possibly be the version before him and sending her home in the TARDIS and the way he lied to get her in there. Not that this version has really lied that much to her...she likes that bit. At least not that she's aware.]

Figger I do an awfully brilliant job of entertainin' you and now I've got the other you to entertain too in a whole different sorta way [thank God] Earned the title of Master.

[am_i_being_rude]

[Nope. Clearly not. The Doctor never lies.

HE THANKS YOU FOR THAT IMAGE.] Yes, entirely earned. Well earned. Over-earned, in any normal case, although I don't think it's possible to do that in this particular one. Grandmaster of Time Lord Entertainment.

[iwasherefirst]

[NO PROBLEM. She's glad she could entertain him]

Oooh see I like that one even better. Grandmaster of Time Lord Entertainment. Ought to come with a gold star and everythin'