|| four ☯ video

[captaininnuendo]

Having trouble with little furballs? Too many in a confined space? Allergic to fur? Allergic to life itself? Easily annoyed with cute little aliens that you don't understand? Too uptight to accept new additions to life? Hate cute things in general?

[The video feed clicks on to show Jack's charming smile. He's wearing sunglasses. In the background it's clear he's on the beach and surrounded by the little furballs.] Well I've been looking for employment and I think I've found it. Furball keeper. Bring them to me, I don't mind them. In fact, I find them endearing, a few of them somewhat sexy. Can you imagine how much sex they must have in the womb of each furball in order for them all to be born ready to have more furball babies?

[He leans back in his beach chair, one arm resting behind his head as he sips at a drink of something pink in a martini glass just as one of the Tribbles sits on his shoulder.] Yep, my kind of alien. Bring them to me and I'll keep an eye on them. Plenty of room at the beach.

Comments

video;

[ex_erring42]

You shouldn't get too attached to them. The stinky little furballs are sure to disappear at the stroke of midnight. [ And thank fucking god for that. ]

video;

[captaininnuendo]

We'll call it temporary employment then. I don't mind. I never stay in one place for too long anyway.

[He lowers his sunglasses, looks into the video, then sets them back right onto the bridge of his nose.]

And who are you, handsome?

voice

[likeabreath]

I found five more here in the apartment. I thought you took all of them with you.

voice

[captaininnuendo]

Some of them much have been hiding. Sneaky little suckers. Just when I think I can't like them more...

[waitedforyears]

I think if I wanted to bring them all I'd need— a plane at this point, probably. Or a really big car.

[captaininnuendo]

They do multiply pretty quickly, I like it. Maybe you could commandeer a shopping cart or something. Start shoveling them out in this direction. You could be like the pied piper of furballs.

video:

[charring]

The only resident of my apartment that seems to like them is my fox. He keeps nudging them all over the floor.

video:

[captaininnuendo]

You have a fox? Did you tame it? How did you catch it? I didn't they were domesticated creatures. He's not eating them, is he?

[valentineluke]

Opening a ranch? The meat and hide should bring in a tidy sum.

[captaininnuendo]

Why Luke, what a morbid, homicidal thought. Very unattractive on one as handsome as yourself.

[forhishonor]

[ wait, hold on, you just said-- ]

--They're aliens?

[ but....they're so cute ._. ]

[captaininnuendo]

Definitely aliens. I'm not sure what species though. But who really cares when they're so harmless and attractive.

[shortwired]

So you admitted to finding a tiny furball sexy. That is a thing that happened.

[captaininnuendo]

You say that as if there were a problem with it. But yes, it did happen. A lot of species do have their own sex appeal. Even you.

[boutant]

[ what ]

... You're not going to try having sex with them, are you? Because I really don't think that would... work.

[captaininnuendo]

Of course not! Obviously they have sex in the womb. I've been studying their habits all day and I think it'd be impossible to have sex with them... in theory.

video;

[nohometown]

Hello. I can bring you a number of them.

[In the background, one can hear tribbles shrieking.]

video;

[captaininnuendo]

Well hello to you.

[All the flirtateousness until he can hear those shrieks.] Wait, what are you doing?

[signatures]

I'm not exactly sure I want to hand them off to someone who finds them sexy.

[captaininnuendo]

Oh come on. I'm around creatures I find sexy every day. And being around me is less dangerous than being around the people going around killing them.

[errandry]

... you're not usually that big, right?

[captaininnuendo]

Big? You think I'm big? Taller than some, shorter than some really. Somewhere in the middle, not that I don't stand out in a crowd, because I do.

[orangetoughguy]

Dude. Really?

[captaininnuendo]

Well hello there. And yes. Dude, really. Who are you, handsome?

[iwasherefirst]

Runnin' a randy alien shelter, Jack?

[captaininnuendo]

They have to exist somewhere. Did you know people are killing them? Without even trying to find out what they want.

voice;

[leathered]

[ The Doctor is not quite as fond of tribbles as you are, Jack. Probably because a couple drowned in the fishtank. And he swears they were nibbling on the shower curtain (whether or not this is true is up for debate). ]

Oh, good. Nice to have someone else around for babysitting purposes.

voice;

[captaininnuendo]

And who better to do it, I ask you? I'm excellent with mostly harmless alien lifeforms.