poly_chromatic | || four ☯ video

Having trouble with little furballs? Too many in a confined space? Allergic to fur? Allergic to life itself? Easily annoyed with cute little aliens that you don't understand? Too uptight to accept new additions to life? Hate cute things in general?

[The video feed clicks on to show Jack's charming smile. He's wearing sunglasses. In the background it's clear he's on the beach and surrounded by the little furballs.] Well I've been looking for employment and I think I've found it. Furball keeper. Bring them to me, I don't mind them. In fact, I find them endearing, a few of them somewhat sexy. Can you imagine how much sex they must have in the womb of each furball in order for them all to be born ready to have more furball babies?

[He leans back in his beach chair, one arm resting behind his head as he sips at a drink of something pink in a martini glass just as one of the Tribbles sits on his shoulder.] Yep, my kind of alien. Bring them to me and I'll keep an eye on them. Plenty of room at the beach.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Some of them much have been hiding. Sneaky little suckers. Just when I think I can't like them more...

I can see why. They're just like you. Randy, sneaky and adorable.

I am all of those things... and more. Someone mentioned they'll probably disappear at midnight. We should try to keep one.

And we'd have hundreds in a week.

True. I wonder if there's a way to sterilize... nope can't bring myself to even finish that sentence. Guess there isn't a place for them here in the long term, which is sad if you think about it.

... you could always ask a deity about that, and see if they wouldn't mind 'fixing' the little fuzzball.

Maybe they could fix two of them so that they could have a friend of their own kind. Then they could keep doing what they do without the repercussions, not that I've seen any of them having sex out of the womb... so maybe that isn't a good idea.

Hey, around noon wanna bring some take out out here? We could have a beach picnic while keeping an eye on the furballs.

It's worth asking.

Mm. I could do that. What sounds good?

Sesame chicken and fried rice. Maybe a few of those spring rolls I like so much.

Ooh, that does sound good. Brilliant as always, Jack. Anything else you want from me?

Just your company, a few hundred thousand alien furballs and food. Who could ask for anything more? Actually, it sounds like more of a good time than I initially intended it to be.

Think we'll fit on the beach with that many?

Oh, you and I don't take up much space. We'll cuddle if it comes to it. And Gwen, you don't know cuddling until you've cuddled with me.

I'll have you know I'm the best cuddler around.

[There's a heavy sigh here.] We're going to have to duke it out, aren't we? Gwen, you realize that a cuddling contest in midst of the furballs will make us extremely cute in midst of all the cute. Is there such a thing a overload? Probably not.

Oh please. I haven't been 'cute' for years.

I don't know, that little nose wrinkle thing you do at least twice a day definitely errs on the side of cute.

Not cute.

Anyway, I'll be there in a little while with food and fuzzballs.

Oh Gwen, we need to get you some more mirrors. See you soon.

|| four ☯ video

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