|| four ☯ video

[captaininnuendo]

Having trouble with little furballs? Too many in a confined space? Allergic to fur? Allergic to life itself? Easily annoyed with cute little aliens that you don't understand? Too uptight to accept new additions to life? Hate cute things in general?

[The video feed clicks on to show Jack's charming smile. He's wearing sunglasses. In the background it's clear he's on the beach and surrounded by the little furballs.] Well I've been looking for employment and I think I've found it. Furball keeper. Bring them to me, I don't mind them. In fact, I find them endearing, a few of them somewhat sexy. Can you imagine how much sex they must have in the womb of each furball in order for them all to be born ready to have more furball babies?

[He leans back in his beach chair, one arm resting behind his head as he sips at a drink of something pink in a martini glass just as one of the Tribbles sits on his shoulder.] Yep, my kind of alien. Bring them to me and I'll keep an eye on them. Plenty of room at the beach.

Comments

[valentineluke]

We? Together?

[captaininnuendo]

We together. As in us, you and I. Your handsomeness combined with my perfection, we'd be unstoppable.

[valentineluke]

In all seriousness, commercially farming may be the only humane recourse.

[captaininnuendo]

You're right. We could be business partners, Luke... given that this alien invasion continues past midnight.

[valentineluke]

I am always looking to invest and not just in fur-coated spam.

[captaininnuendo]

Ohhhh I like that word. Invest. It's so professional.

[valentineluke]

Assuming you're serious: I don't advise opening, within the City, a bar or eatery - there's already far too many of them. Even with a unique hook, the chances of success for a new place are minimal.

[captaininnuendo]

Are you kidding? You and I would be the hook. We'd attract people like moths to a flame.

[valentineluke]

No, completely serious. Your month stipend will end soon. The host club employee bit, while very entertaining, isn't profitable when done for free.

Put the woe aside for a minute; pitch me a sales.