5 ♞ text

[sickbeat]

holy shit
here i am waking up from my restful slumber
innocent and unassuming
when all of a sudden its like the entire city decided it was past sharding and released its people diarrhea into the unsuspecting toilet that is the rest of us
looks like this is normal though
why

[ooc | Anything goes! Doubles, AUs, spoilers, whatever.]

Comments

[synchronous]

Good question. I didn't get so much as a welcome basket. Hells of rude.

[sickbeat]

[Davesprite's color. Huh. Must be a coincidence.]

yeah well according to the helpful citizenry who for some reason cant be assed to include this information in their nigh useless brochures
youre one of the lucky bastards who get to leave as soon as you get here

[synchronous]

[ Hey, there's only 16 million-some colors on the internet. Bound to run into a few coincidences. ]

That's convenient. I've got some important shit going down that I'd rather not miss.

In the meantime, where exactly are we?

[sickbeat]

chill dude the next new episode of desperate housewives is still gonna be there when you get back
time shit
you know
youre in THE city

[synchronous]

But what if I miss it? Don't exactly have Tivo or anyone around to tape that shit.

THE city. Helpful.

[sickbeat]

no youre not listening
time shit is at work here
meaning your shits safe while THE city takes its big rancid dump
take it or leave it youre the one asking me for information never said id give a straight up answer
maybe i just like leaning against brick walls in the rain and being aloof and enigmatic and giving you cryptic shit riddles for answers

[synchronous]

Time shit. So I could just set up camp here as long as I want and it won't matter, or what? Sounds convenient, but I'll need more than just some random dude's word off the internet before I believe it.

Aw, man. I've talked to enough mysteriously cagey strangers for one lifetime.

[roofstrife]

[The first clue that something is up for Dave is probably the smuppet shoved on the back of the toilet. Staring at him. Watching...]

[sickbeat]

[All Dave wanted was to go to the bathroom and take a piss.

All he wanted was to maybe freshen up a little before he greeted the day.

But no.

He gets a smuppet.

And if he didn't already know what was going on with the City, he would think this was some freaky messed up pedophile curse by the deities.

He knows what to do.

He looks around cautiously and slowly backs away from the bathroom. His heart's all caught up in his throat and it's been years already but man he doesn't want to think about that, doesn't want that guy to see him thinking about it.

It's either somewhere in his apartment or the roof. He intends to check both.]

[johnfoolery]

wow, i don't know, dave.
maybe i will just take my diarrhea self back into the butt of the universe if you're going to say i am a gross metaphor.
maybe that is what i'll do!

[sickbeat]

man whos to say you didnt already squeeze yourself back into the sphincter
last i saw you got fuckin owned by a fish alien

[johnfoolery]

uh, yeah, because i was saving some weird floaty sleeping girl from being stuck with a fork.
i'm sorry for being a hero, dave.
i'm sorry that i am way cooler than you will ever be.
are you sitting at home?
i bet you are sitting at home, hiding from everyone here instead of actually meeting awesome multiversal people.
do you know who i met?
PETER FUCKING VENKMAN.
who have you met, your own computer screen?
ok, seriously, where are you, dude, there is a tender bro hug i need to give out.
not to you though, hehehe.
no, but actually.

[sickbeat]

christ egbert control yourself i just caught a huge whiff of stank bullshit
at least have the decency to be embarrassed
instead of jerking it to some no talent hasbeen from a long lost century of at best mediocre cinema
like you could replace my position of best broship with anyone else that isnt a goddamn salamander
look around do you see a foutain

[firesneeze]

Maybe the deities feel bad.

[ lololol no. ]

[sickbeat]

about what
how lonely we all are
spending our day blogging along in our apartments

[firesneeze]

You never know.

[sickbeat]

if you need a therapist i can see if rose is around
she loves that shit
just settle your ass down and shell whip out her clipboard and analyze the phallicism of your cognizant existence

[firesneeze]

I think I'm good. But thanks for the offer, kid.

So how's my big boy been doing since we had our last talk?

[sickbeat]

omg mom youre gonna embarrass me in front of my new friends have a little courtesy

[princesstype]

[OH MY GOD HOW CAN PEOPLE TALK ABOUT #2 SO OPENLYnkflewnf]

This is normal... ?

[sickbeat]

apparently
you new too?

[princesstype]

[If she just thinks about it like... being a transfer student- !]

Yes, I'm new here-

My name is Himeno. It's nice to meet you.

[sickbeat]

haha whoa
does that mean youre asian too
do you know kazu
hes a bro

[princesstype]

Ah- [Who is Kazu?] Yes, I'm Japanese...

I'm afraid I don't know Kazu, though. Is he a friend of yours?

[sickbeat]

yup
best city bros for life
got friendship bracelets made and everything encrusted with the tears of my labor