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the almighty johnsons - ty johnson

002 :: Audio

God of all things dark and cold. Yay Hod.

[Is that a bit of a Kiwi accent there? Why yes there is.]

God of all things dark and cold. Yay Hod.

Shut up.

God of all things dark and cold. Yay Hod. [With repetition the manifest lack of enthusiasm to that statement just drills deeper and deeper. Someone's cheering Hod with all the joy of someone getting a root canal.]

God of all things dark and cold. Yay Hod.

Shut the fuck up!

[There's a clatter of things being thrown and a bird's angry squawk.]

God of all things-- [SQUAWK]

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It seems we have another god in our midst. Are you one of Axl's gods, then?

Axl's my brother. [Rattling around in the background, a bird is trying to get its beak free to take up its chant.]

Then I welcome you, Hod, god of all things dark and cold. [ She says it reverently, not like the way the bird said it. ]

[Um... that's a little freaky there.]

Thanks? You can just call me Ty.

And you can call me Leah. Short for Leah, handmaiden to the Lady Hela, Queen of the Underworld.

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You could always eat it. I think that is what Sif intends to do to her bird.

She can have mine too. [It might be a little frostbitten.]

You ought to offer it to her.

You know. Norse solidarity, or the like.

I haven't seen a lot of Norse solidarity. It's us Johnsons and everyone else. [Now that he's had enough time to detox from his marriage at least.]

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Hod, I take it.

Yay, Hod.

If you say so.

It's hard to be enthusiastic about being the god of never being warm, never enjoying food, and general emptiness.

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What does Yay Hod mean?

[ It might help her figure out the rest of it. ]

It means it sucks to be the god of all things dark and cold.

[ Curiously. ] Is that what you are?

[Screw you to his bros who outed them in the first place.]

Yes. Lucky me.

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Why does that bird sound like you?

It's a thing today, talking birds. Just more freaky shit.

A talking bird. So was it... there on my birthday?

I got distracted watching you get hit by lightning.

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I can knock it over the head with something, if you want.

I bet you can't.

[Which means "yes, please."]

I've already got rid of all mine. [He's already heading over.]

God of all things dark and cold. Yay Hod.

Brilliant, then come take care of mine. [There... may be a few penguins in the lot.]

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