002 :: Audio

[allthingsdarkandcold]

God of all things dark and cold. Yay Hod.

[Is that a bit of a Kiwi accent there? Why yes there is.]

God of all things dark and cold. Yay Hod.

Shut up.

God of all things dark and cold. Yay Hod. [With repetition the manifest lack of enthusiasm to that statement just drills deeper and deeper. Someone's cheering Hod with all the joy of someone getting a root canal.]

God of all things dark and cold. Yay Hod.

Shut the fuck up!

[There's a clatter of things being thrown and a bird's angry squawk.]

God of all things-- [SQUAWK]

Comments

[helsmaiden]

It seems we have another god in our midst. Are you one of Axl's gods, then?

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[doeswhathewants]

You could always eat it. I think that is what Sif intends to do to her bird.

[allthingsdarkandcold]

Axl's my brother. [Rattling around in the background, a bird is trying to get its beak free to take up its chant.]

[helsmaiden]

Then I welcome you, Hod, god of all things dark and cold. [ She says it reverently, not like the way the bird said it. ]

[allthingsdarkandcold]

She can have mine too. [It might be a little frostbitten.]

[allthingsdarkandcold]

[Um... that's a little freaky there.]

Thanks? You can just call me Ty.

[helsmaiden]

And you can call me Leah. Short for Leah, handmaiden to the Lady Hela, Queen of the Underworld.

[allthingsdarkandcold]

[And now they've gone way past just a little freaky.]

Hela. Like Hel? You're my wife's handmaiden?

[helsmaiden]

My lady is not married. Ah, but I forget that your version of the gods are different.

Yes, I am the lady Hela's handmaiden, and if she is your wife, then I will gladly serve you should you wish it.

[doeswhathewants]

You ought to offer it to her.

You know. Norse solidarity, or the like.

[allthingsdarkandcold]

No! No. [The last thing he needs is more goddesses.] I mean, thanks for the offer, but I've got it sorted on my own.

[helsmaiden]

As you wish. Should you have need of me, you only have to ask.

[allthingsdarkandcold]

I haven't seen a lot of Norse solidarity. It's us Johnsons and everyone else. [Now that he's had enough time to detox from his marriage at least.]

[doeswhathewants]

Leah. You shouldn't just go around offering your service to people. For one, he might be a weirdo.

On the other hand, if he wears shirts, he's okay with me.

[helsmaiden]

He is husband to my lady Hela, or some version of her. I am duty bound to offer him my service.

[allthingsdarkandcold]

Sure, right. I'll do that.

[doeswhathewants]

In your world it might be that way, but here, you can try new things. Make friends. Influence people!

[allthingsdarkandcold]

Sure. Right.

Who are you?

[doeswhathewants]

What if he were the unsavory sort? The shirtless unsavory sort?

You ought to set duty aside in places like this.

[helsmaiden]

I think I can handle myself should his intentions turn foul.

[doeswhathewants]

Serrure.

Hail and well met, Hod. I believe you are dead in my universe, so I've not met your version there. But if you are Axl's brother, you cannot be bad.

[doeswhathewants]

I don't know, Leah. You are too often taken in by shirtless bad boys and their well sculpted pectorals.

[allthingsdarkandcold]

It's like the whole world knows Axl now. If this is what it's going to be like when he's Odin, I want to take a miss.

[doeswhathewants]

Because he is personable to those who would befriend him, that goes a long way, I think. The Odin of my world was terrible, you and yours lucked out.

[allthingsdarkandcold]

[He doesn't know how much everyone knows, so he won't reveal his concern that Axl won't be so decent once he's really Odin.]

That's us, all kinds of lucky. Are you some kind of god, too?