( audio & action 16 )

[studmuffin]

Stop, stop --. [ There's a bird sitting on the hood of Stiles' jeep. The boy who owns it is currently trying to wave the thing off with his bag full of groceries. ] Please be quiet, c'mon, just quit it.

[ The birds wings ruffle but it doesn't take off, just opens it's beak to speak in a voice that is exactly Stiles, couldn't be anyone else's. ] His ass is amazing. That should be why they tell you not to go into the woods. But he has these teeth too and usually that means being eaten and not in a fun, sexy way.

No no no no. Stop talking, stop right this instant. [ Panicking. ] I was cursed, it doesn't count, it was totally a curse.

[ Of course, the only way this could be worse is if his device was broadcasting to the whole City ]

... I'm just going to go kill myself now.

Comments

[studmuffin]

No, no. He hates everything, he hates me, he's going to take those many facts and use them to strangle me to death.

[justamessenger]

I didn't know you could strangle someone with facts, outside the metaphorical.

[studmuffin]

Believe me, he'd make it work.

[justamessenger]

Do you need any avenging angel action done? I haven't done any of that in ages.

[studmuffin]

Well, if I'm in possession of all of my limbs tomorrow I can decide then.

[justamessenger]

Give me a call. I've got a sword and everything.

[studmuffin]

No way, really?

[justamessenger]

Would I lie about swords?

[studmuffin]

I don't know. Swords aren't usually a conversation starter.

[justamessenger]

To be fair, I didn't open with the sword talk.

So do we get to find out who is the owner of said amazing ass and unsexy teeth or are you taking this to your grave?

[studmuffin]

Derek Hale.

[ Mortified. ] No point trying to pretend it's not. He's going to know anyway.

[justamessenger]

I don't think I know him. Although I kinda want to know.

[studmuffin]

He's probably going to smash my face in because now I've made people aware of him.

[justamessenger]

If he's got as great an ass as you say the chances are he's aware to many people.

[studmuffin]

He's kind of weird about attention.

[justamessenger]

Like not noticing or or not liking it? Is he shy?

[studmuffin]

Kind of both. He's totally not shy though.

[justamessenger]

Maybe he just needs to warm to the idea.

[studmuffin]

Maybe he's one of those jerks who don't know how hot they are.

[justamessenger]

You could put a lot of mirrors around him everywhere until he clues in.

[studmuffin]

He'd smash them.

[justamessenger]

Wow. That sounds healthy.

[studmuffin]

Despite the epic nature of his ass, Derek has a lot of issues.

[justamessenger]

The hot ones usually do. When really attractive people have zero issues I get suspicious.

[studmuffin]

Yeah, I hear that.