( audio & action 16 )

[studmuffin]

Stop, stop --. [ There's a bird sitting on the hood of Stiles' jeep. The boy who owns it is currently trying to wave the thing off with his bag full of groceries. ] Please be quiet, c'mon, just quit it.

[ The birds wings ruffle but it doesn't take off, just opens it's beak to speak in a voice that is exactly Stiles, couldn't be anyone else's. ] His ass is amazing. That should be why they tell you not to go into the woods. But he has these teeth too and usually that means being eaten and not in a fun, sexy way.

No no no no. Stop talking, stop right this instant. [ Panicking. ] I was cursed, it doesn't count, it was totally a curse.

[ Of course, the only way this could be worse is if his device was broadcasting to the whole City ]

... I'm just going to go kill myself now.

Comments

[justamessenger]

Wow. That sounds healthy.

[studmuffin]

Despite the epic nature of his ass, Derek has a lot of issues.

[justamessenger]

The hot ones usually do. When really attractive people have zero issues I get suspicious.

[studmuffin]

Yeah, I hear that.

[justamessenger]

Granted my job is kinda dealing with people's issues, my statistics might be a little skewed.

[studmuffin]

You a shrink or something? [ A really hot shrink. ]

[justamessenger]

Nope. Or that's not the job title anyway.

[studmuffin]

So, what is in the job title?

[justamessenger]

I can give you a clue.

[She turns her camera around until it has a wider shot of her upper body. Then slowly, two large white wings open up, stretching out wide on both sides of her.]

[studmuffin]

Holy shit.

[ Dropping his device. ]

[justamessenger]

[Laughing her ass off at you now, Stiles.]

So, do you need three guesses?

[studmuffin]

Are you like - an angel? Because if you exist my life is going to become super weird.

[justamessenger]

I am very sorry to make your life weird, then.

[studmuffin]

Woah.

No seriously. Woah.

[justamessenger]

Do you need a minute?

[studmuffin]

Maybe several, jesus.

I mean, ah. Fuck.

[justamessenger]

It's okay, cowboy. You can't say anything I haven't heard before.

[studmuffin]

Won't I get struck by lightening or something?

[justamessenger]

Statistically it's not very likely.

[studmuffin]

I don't have the best of luck.

[justamessenger]

Maybe that just means you're getting all your bad luck out of the way early so life can be amazing later.