o9 ♞ text + action

[sickbeat]

oh shit
were out of apple juice
now i understand how it feels to face life or death
to make the sacrifice play for the other guy or suffer the consequences
the consequences being fatal thirst
do i have to drink my own piss for this?
has humanity fallen so low???

[ooc | Dave doesn't want to go out and get kissed.

But he wants his god damn apple juice.

So he's gonna go get his god damn apple juice.]

Comments

Text

[he_who_kills]

Smoochy-smoochy-smoochy!

Text

[sickbeat]

hell no
these lips cant just be passing out gold to every goddamn stranger that pleases

text:

[pigtailsbutterflyknives]

How much to get some apple juice for you?

text:

[sickbeat]

how about one fuck no
and a handful of shit man thats still a terrible fucking idea

Re: text:

[pigtailsbutterflyknives]

Why? I'm fast and will leave it at your door. You won't have to risk seeing me. Just leave money at the door.

text:

[sickbeat]

how much
like am i paying a fuckin arm and a leg for this service
what am i getting into here
what are the terms and conditions

Re: text:

[pigtailsbutterflyknives]

Just reimburse me the price of the juice, dude.

text:

[sickbeat]

and how am i supposed to know its safe
and uncontaminated
as tempting as this once in a lifetime offer is

Re: text:

[pigtailsbutterflyknives]

It's not like I'm gonna open it or anything.

text:

[sickbeat]

scouts honor???

voice;

[maoser]

Have you considered water? [And an English class. Seriously. What is your grammar?]

voice;

[sickbeat]

Fuck-- no, I haven't. Shit, dude, thanks for the tip. Saved me from drinking my own piss, you must be the next coming of Christ.

voice;

[maoser]

Darwin must be rolling in his grave. [How has natural selection failed to get you? The world holds many mysteries.]

voice;

[sickbeat]

Watch what you're saying, bro. For all you know Darwin could be here and listening in. Do you want to hurt his feelings? Shit, have some consideration.

voice;

[maoser]

[astounded silence. really. REALLY?!]

voice;

[sickbeat]

Dude?

Shit, don't start losing it now. I'm sure he'd understand the circumstances.

voice;

[maoser]

[Mao may look like he's grooming his face, but he's actually facepalming. Not that Dave can see this.]

I doubt he would understand anything better than the rest of us.

[Except you. Mao's pretty sure Darwin is smarter than you are.]

voice;

[sickbeat]

I don't know, bro seems pretty up to speed on the whole evolution thing.

voice;

[maoser]

But could he handle Einstein's theory of relativity?

[vicodincrutch]

Most apple juices will end up making you more thirsty because there is more sugar then real juice in it. You might be better off with water.

[sickbeat]

what
no
bullshit
it says 100% apple juice made from real apples

[vicodincrutch]

And real apples have a great dose of sugars too.

[sickbeat]

so what youre saying is ive been drinking sugar for like the past fifteen years
practically sipping sour green apple jolly ranchers for all the good this shit is doing me

[vicodincrutch]

Low fat, high sugar green apple jolly ranchers in liquid form pretty much. Which is better than soda theoretically but just as hard on your teeth.

[sickbeat]

but
what if i get better toothpaste
i saw some at the supermarket with all kinds of whitening agents and prohealth benefits it was like the motherfucking champion of toothpastes

[vicodincrutch]

Preventative doesn't mean it will actually do anything for certain.

Excessive sugar consumption isn't all about tooth health. That's adult propaganda trying to appeal to your adolescent vanity to get you to listen. Face it. You're never going to be Jonathan Taylor Thomas for one, for another you can trash your insides because you're young for only so long.

[sickbeat]

did you webmd this
shit dont even count

[fe_male]

You don't dehydrate that fast. Unless you've been doing things in your room you'd like to share with the class.

[sickbeat]

let me just point out that im underage and disclosing that information would hopefully make you uncomfortable

[fe_male]

Doesn't really float or sink my boat either way.

[sickbeat]

well that settles some things
wouldnt believe some of the questionable people in this town
filthy im telling you

[fe_male]

Oh yeah? Do, please, tell. All ears.