34 - Cluck Cluck Cluck

[worldofourown]

[ The feed snaps on to a very irritable Karl, sprawled out on a chaise by the pool, a book lying half-open in his lap. There's something of the cooked and crispy variety piled on the table near him. Several somethings. Apparently, Karl thought it simpler to roast the flock of talking chickens than to let them cluck away. ]

[ Glancing at the Device, he scowls, ]

For a limited time only. If you're in the mood for an extra-roasted meal, stop by here and pick it up. No strings. [ He even promises not to attack you. If you leave fast enough. ] Hopefully these feathered rats taste better than the advice they dole out.

[ On cue, a colorful rooster flutters to perch on the chaise. Tilting its head at Karl, it opines, ] Remember, mon ami, you can't court a woman like you’d go at a piece of steak. For many of the fairer sex, less is more. Teasing is pleasing. Light is rig--

[ Cut off by Karl thwacking the bird with his book, matter-of-fact and vicious. Expect the pile of chickens to grow significantly larger. ]

Comments

1/2

[manyadenouement]

Karl. Darling Karl.

[Shaking his head.]

If you burn my house down...

[manyadenouement]

I will eat you.

[worldofourown]

...

I can't burn anything. I'm right next to the pool.

[ Don't eat him. He'd be all bitter and bony 8( ]

[manyadenouement]

[Karl. You know he will anyway.

To spite you.

And because that is his house.

Who cares that you were here first.

HIS FUCKING HOUSE.]

Every. Last. Drop.

[sympathyforme]

Did you marinate those?

[worldofourown]

...What do I look like, a chef?

[ In the background, a rooster clucks, ] Dates that end with lovemaking often begin with dining out, so that the meal itself can be seen as a form of sexual foreplay -- in more ways than one.

[ And thud goes Karl's book, followed by a loud squawk. ]

[sympathyforme]

Let's not get into what you look like.

[He's being nice enough not to insult him.]

But the dead bird's right, you won't score a dinner date that way.

[worldofourown]

[ But he's not ugly. Really. :c ]

I fail to understand how a bird would instruct me on how it's done. Have you ever seen birds do the deed? It's a clumsy flurry of feathers that lasts but five seconds.

[ Seriously. Who'd shave their junk for that? ]

[indecent_butterfly]

[Not sure if ne's surprised you can cook or not Karl.]

Not even Phear and Tehrror will eat those things.

[worldofourown]

[ Who said it was well cooked? There's a reason it's free. ]

All the greater excuse to burn them. I've not been tempted to sample them myself -- for obvious magic-averse reasons.

[indecent_butterfly]

[Planning on poisoning the masses?]

Perhaps a more willing [stupider] taste tester then will be happy to let you know. Any takers yet?

[worldofourown]

[ Of course not. ]

[ Maybe. ]

None so far. [ An exaggerated sigh, ] My reputation precedes me, alas.

action? Because Setsuna would so go for a poultry meal

[beyourarmy]

Annoying as they are, you might be able to learn something about going after girls from them.

action; Since we're assuming he's hanging around the Palace anyway xD

[worldofourown]

[ Irascibly, ] Don't you jump on the bandwagon. Unless you want to be roasted too.

action;

[beyourarmy]

[He's reaching for one of the cooked birds, then.]

Go ahead and try it. I'm just being honest, rather you like it, or not.

action;

[worldofourown]

Spare me the attitude. [ He's practically bristling with annoyance, ] When are you planning to sever that umbilical cord between you and Saya, anyway?

[action]

[sangreine]

[The promise of food dragged her from the cage of her rooms, navigating the as-yet unknown corridors by smell. She knew only the bare minimum to get around, refusing to abide her curiosity until now...]

[An instinct she should have trusted.]

[She catches Karl mid-thwack, racing over with a cry of shock and disgust to try and snatch up the poor thing before it gets flattened.]

What do you think you're doing?

[action]

[worldofourown]

[ Karl stops mid-blow, but only because he's more interested in Saya's unexpected appearance. This is new. Usually she stays holed up in her room. He ought to fry helpless chickens more often. ]

[ His scowl smoothes into a wide smile of delight. ]

Someone's out bright and early~

[ He reaches out, ostensibly to help her with the bird. But it's really an excuse to get closer. ]

[action]

[sangreine]

[Turning, she is more concerned about getting the poor bird out his his reach than herself, unthinkingly using her body to shield the poor thing.]

I'm not about to let you kill innocent birds, am I? [Thoroughly indignant and full of righteous defense of the innocent... and hoping he won't notice her stomach rumbling at the smell of the already cooked ones...]

action;

[maoser]

[Life has been boring without Hei around. Mao has taken to wandering even farther than was his wont before.

He follows the smell of roasting chicken. Perhaps he can get a little snack out of a sympathetic soul.]

action;

[worldofourown]

[ Sympathetic soul, Mao's frisky tail. Animals of all sorts avoid the residence. They can scent predators here. The chickens -- magical -- are an exception. So, Karl assumes, would be the cat. Why else would it come here? ]

[ Reaching out, he snags Mao by the scruff of his neck, holding him at eye-level. ]

.......The curse includes cats too?

action;

[maoser]

[Mao really needs to learn not to ignore his animal instincts. It's probably a good thing Hei isn't here -- Mao would never hear the end of it.

He mraows and hisses and scratches at Karl's hand.]

video;

[majorcrotchgrab]

[PROBABLY AT THE MANSION NOW]

I'll be outside in a bit. Save some for me.

video;

[worldofourown]

[ IT'S LIKE FAMILY COOKOUT TIME. ]

It's not [ what's the word? ] marinated. Might be a little chewy, fair warning.

video;

[majorcrotchgrab]

[YAAAY]

Food is food. I'm not a picky eater.