( audio & action 16 )

[studmuffin]

Stop, stop --. [ There's a bird sitting on the hood of Stiles' jeep. The boy who owns it is currently trying to wave the thing off with his bag full of groceries. ] Please be quiet, c'mon, just quit it.

[ The birds wings ruffle but it doesn't take off, just opens it's beak to speak in a voice that is exactly Stiles, couldn't be anyone else's. ] His ass is amazing. That should be why they tell you not to go into the woods. But he has these teeth too and usually that means being eaten and not in a fun, sexy way.

No no no no. Stop talking, stop right this instant. [ Panicking. ] I was cursed, it doesn't count, it was totally a curse.

[ Of course, the only way this could be worse is if his device was broadcasting to the whole City ]

... I'm just going to go kill myself now.

Comments

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[brobeforehos]

Pimping yourself out for alcohol.

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[studmuffin]

Hey, when your dad's the sheriff you have to get inventive.

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[brobeforehos]

Along that road lies only trouble.

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[studmuffin]

Hey, I need it. Derek's going to rip my throat out ... With his teeth.

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[brobeforehos]

But where are your standards? You have friends that are of legal age who would not mind providing you with drinks.

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[studmuffin]

Okay, be a friend and help me find the booze.

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[brobeforehos]

Please. It's in my flat.

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[studmuffin]

Oh hell, we're killing two birds with one stone. And judging how I feel about birds today, I'm all for the killing.

I'll be right over.

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[brobeforehos]

No blood on the carpet.

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[studmuffin]

[ He doesn't reply simply because he's driving. Then ten minutes later he's knocking on her door. ]

Ashton, c'mon. I'm a desperate man here.

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[brobeforehos]

[Opens the door right away, grinning as she does it.]

Welcome to the land of forgetting all about the awkward City revelations of your personal life.

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[studmuffin]

Home sweet home.

[ Still awkward. ] Please tell me there is actually alcohol in here and you haven't lured me here under false pretenses. I know I'm pretty but I'm not doing the makeup thing again.

[brobeforehos]

[She wonders if he means it. She meant it. She's been needing a housemate for a while, let's be honest, and if anyone'd make a good one, it would be Stiles, who keeps on reminding her of Jamie.

She's an emotional masochist.] I'd never lie about alcohol. And parties. Those are the two things I never lie about. Come on in, pretty boy.

[studmuffin]

[ Entering. ]

Nice place you've got here.

[brobeforehos]

[That's what he said.]

I try to keep it cozy. [And messy, most of the times. Although today it just looks cluttered. There are many, many books. Everywhere. She's building a collection, in case Alan ever comes back, he'll have things to read.]

I can sympathize with you on today's curse, you know.

[studmuffin]

Yeah? Did you have a bird announcing to the world that the guy who likes to shove your head into the steering wheel has a great ass? The only thing that would have made this worse is that if everyone else I knew had been here.

[ Like Jackson. Or Erica. ]

[brobeforehos]

Nnnnnnno? But I had a list posted about all the people I found attractive in the sense of whether or not I'd - [Makes quotation marks] 'hit that'.

[She pauses and looks at him.] You know, there's something incredibly wrong about what you just said. How can you hang around that guy if he's so violent towards you?

[studmuffin]

It's okay, he's violent to everyone.

[ That makes it better, right? ]

[brobeforehos]

I don't see how that's better.

[studmuffin]

It's just kind of his thing? [ Shrugging. ] Asshole with a tendency towards violence. Sometimes it works for us though - like when he's saving mine and Scott's asses. Then we don't mind.

[brobeforehos]

Look. [OKAY, she needs to get them drinks for this. Which she proceeds to do! Gin and tonics, enjoy. Just wait for a second while she's making them, because hah - classy.] I'm sure almost everyone's ended up lumped with the brutish, mean, dick of a person whose personality we justify by saying hey at least he helps us get this and this done, or something. Very utilitarian, sure.

But - [Hands him a glass.] Most dickish people have the ability to change, or to act less dickish if they really give a damn about you.

[studmuffin]

Is this an intervention? [ But hey, alcohol. ]

Because like, it's not that bad. Okay, it's that bad but Derek's mostly the least of my troubles. You should meet his creepy uncle.

[brobeforehos]

His whole species sounds like a delight. [She doesn't even know.

Just drink, impressionable teenager. God she sets such great examples.] Someone should issue an intervention.

[studmuffin]

[ Choking. ] What do you mean species?

[ DID THE BIRD SAY SOMETHING ELSE? ]

[brobeforehos]

I mean, as in his family?

...why, is there a species? [Look, she's met weirder people.]