33 - Armed To The Teeth Against Love

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What the hell is this?!!

[ The impressive shout emerges, not from a man, but a teddy-bear. Lying on the pavement, kicking his tiny arms and legs feebly. Hi, Karl. ]

Of all the pathetic, worthless, idiotic -- !

[ A stream of profanities. Such a mouth Mr. Teddy has. Not PG-rated at all. ]

[OOC: Karl is a teddy-bear. Lol. Have at him! ]

Comments

[haring_to_go]

[ BUT THE CHILDREN ARE PRECIOUS RESOURCES FOR THE FUTURE. DON'T CORRUPT THEM BEFORE THEIR TIME YOU DAMN VAMPIRE TEDDY BEAR FIEND ]

I'm sorry, but you'll have to bear with this for now. [ and then he scooped down and picked up Karl and stuffed him down his jacket. And now for the getaway! ]

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[ VAMPIRE AND FIEND HE MAY BE, SIR. BUT HE IS NO TEDDY BEAR HMPH. ]

Bear? [ That better not be a pun!!! Also, HEY WHAT'S WITH THE JACKET-STUFFING! HE HAS HIS DIGNITY HUFF HUFF. ] Where are we going? [ Home, he hopes :< ]

[haring_to_go]

[ of course it was and Liam's face twitched slightly as he felt Karl's tiny, little body squirm. ]

Of course. You'd rather I left you on the street?

[ he coughs and then relents ] I'm taking you home. I'm sure Nathan will be able to take good care of you as I work. [ or Diva. We all know what her idea of "fun" is ]

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[ Don't smile! He is not a toy gdi! ]

[ ...wtrtyrwsfhyhjk! Nathan. Karl's voice rises an octave, full of agitation. ] Th-that won't be necessary. Just leave me in my room. [ Who knows what horrors Nathan might subject him to! Cuddles? Tea parties? Or worse. ]

1/2

[haring_to_go]

[ but he's so fluffy and cute and adorable... ]

[haring_to_go]

[ Liam blinks and then looks down his collar ] Why not? If anything, I could hope Nathan might now a cure for your malady.

[ and Karl never did seem to be the type who wasn't constantly amused. Oh, oh well... ]

Would you prefer I left you in the television room, then? [ he's sure he saw one somewhere... ]

1/2

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[ Cute? Fluffy? Adorable? ]

[ Lies and blasphemy!!! Blasphemous lies even!!! ]

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[ A stubborn shake of the head. ] He won't know. It's a curse. It won't end until midnight. [ The button-eyes crease into a scowl. ] My own room is fine. It's not as if I can change channels with these [ paws ] hands. [ And who knows who might come in and see him?!!! ]

[haring_to_go]

[ shush Karl. Liam has excellent taste in cute ] I can hardly refuse if you insist, but... won't you be bored?

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[ fghjksdfgl! He's not cute. Stop saying cute. ] It's far better than being on the receiving end of a bear-hug from Nathan. Or worse, some brat on the street.

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[ n o p e, never. He's branded as cute and cute he shall be! Until Liam sees him ripping the head off of some poor fool but shall he hope it never comes to that? ]

Are you not partial to hugs then? [ oh dear. that sounded like a travesty. Even if Karl is a man, a hug is by no means an ill thing. They're actually...

quite nice. ]

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[ It may yet come to that. It's Karl. Violence is a staple of his everyday diet. He scowls ferociously at Liam. ]

[ Or he would, if his face weren't fluff and buttons. ]

You must be joking.

[ Karl is a cactus. A prickly, sulky, bitey cactus. NO HUGGING. ]

[haring_to_go]

[ his lips twitch ever so slightly as he stares straight ahead ]

I hate to inform you, Mr. Karl, but I never joke. [ it was practically beaten out of him as a little kid. Being the brunt of practical joke after practical joke relieves one of that particular malady ]