Video

[trenchknives]

[He's sitting at a table, pen in hand, trying to look professional. The pinstriped suit helps, as does the fedora set at a jaunty angle.]

Now. I know we had some marriages yesterday, and some prenups. And for those of you who actually went through with the marriage and might be regrettin' it, well...

[A big smile.]

I'm here to offer my services as a divorce lawyer. I promise you, I charge fair rates. And I'm damn good at it. Consider it. Nobody should have to be married to anybody they don't wanna be.

[This is a lie. He's never practiced law in his life. But hey, he can show you a degree if you really want to see it... a JD in Bullshit from the University of Totally Lying.]

Comments

[trenchknives]

[He laughs.]

I wanna think you're fulla shit, but...

[justamessenger]

Nope. Genuine truth 24/7, that's me.

[trenchknives]

I dunno, wouldn't be truthful all the time get exhausting?

[justamessenger]

Not if you do it professionally.

[trenchknives]

Again, you get paid for that?

[justamessenger]

Not in the sense you're thinking of.

[trenchknives]

Okay, how do you get paid?

[justamessenger]

Have you been to Xanadu yet? There are totally unicorns and gryphons and stuff there.

[trenchknives]

Uh, no, I can't say I have.

[justamessenger]

You should check it out. It's a great use of a day.

[trenchknives]

Where is it?

[justamessenger]

Oh, around. It's hard to miss.

[trenchknives]

That's... not very specific.

[justamessenger]

Did you want to go some time?

[trenchknives]

Well, yeah. Anythin' for some fun, right?

[justamessenger]

Awesome. I'm not doing anything.

[trenchknives]

When d'you wanna go?

[justamessenger]

Are you busy now?

[trenchknives]

Not at all.

[justamessenger]

Cool. I can be there is 30 seconds.

[trenchknives]

I'll believe that when I see it!

[justamessenger]

[I hope you're not easily shocked. Next time you turn around there is an angel behind you.]

Hi!

[trenchknives]

[He spins around, laughing.]

Okay, okay, you got me.

[justamessenger]

I have many, many skills.

[trenchknives]

I bet. And I'm sure I'm gonna see some more of 'em.