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boardwalk empire - jimmy darmody

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[He's sitting at a table, pen in hand, trying to look professional. The pinstriped suit helps, as does the fedora set at a jaunty angle.]

Now. I know we had some marriages yesterday, and some prenups. And for those of you who actually went through with the marriage and might be regrettin' it, well...

[A big smile.]

I'm here to offer my services as a divorce lawyer. I promise you, I charge fair rates. And I'm damn good at it. Consider it. Nobody should have to be married to anybody they don't wanna be.

[This is a lie. He's never practiced law in his life. But hey, he can show you a degree if you really want to see it... a JD in Bullshit from the University of Totally Lying.]

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You're not wrong about that. And I ain't gonna say I've never done shady things. But I'm good at my job.

[My fake, fake job.]

...this is probably the only upside to me not actually marrying Merlin.

[A pause and then;]

No. I lied. Even then I wouldn't have come to you for 'legal' aid.

Why not? I've provided excellent legal aid in the past.

You remember what I said a few seconds ago about shady lawyers?

[Plus, she'd have been super happy.]

Yeah. But maybe you're just not the divorce type.

Well, there's that. I'm too stubborn for it.

So you wouldn't want my services anyway. You gonna actually get married?

If I did, I'd hope it wasn't because of a curse.

Well, you love the guy enough to marry him?

I don't know you well enough to answer that.

[Meaning: Yes. But Charlie's life consists of bad things happening when that word is mentioned.]

So yeah, you do, but you don't wanna say 'cause you think I'll either judge you or, I dunno, try n' fuck with you.

None of the above, actually.

So why not? Just 'cause I'm a stranger. Lemme fix that. I'm Jimmy Darmody.

That word's been unlucky for me.

Charlie McGee. Pleasure to meet you.

[A pause, and then a nod.]

Yeah, me too. Didn't mean to be flippant about it.

I'm not worried about your attitude. [She shrugs, raising an eyebrow.] I've met worse.

Well, good, 'cause I'm just a low level asshole usually.

i think I can put up with that.

[He grins.]

Okay, good. I don't wanna run everyone off after I've so recently arrived.

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