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[ronderotarel]

I can explain to you all how to have intercourse without getting babies out of it!

[Alois is sitting on the table and smiling angelically at the camera. He looks quite proud of being able to contribute to society with his wise knowledge.]

Basically it depends with whom you do it! My Father had a lot of intercourse with many children, but he never got babies out of it. [He giggles. If he were still in England, he wouldn't dream of revealing something like this about his Father. But he's stuck in this City for eternity, and there is no English aristocracy to impress. He feels weirdly happy about his newfound freedom.]

I think you only get children if you do it with girls, but who wants to do that anyway. [Alois sticks out his tongue, looking vaguely disgusted.] I was wearing a kimono when I did it. But you can do it even if you don't have one. You'll just look much prettier if you do. [These are the tricks of the trade from an ex sex slave.]

Also! If you have other questions I can answer them!

Comments

[a_parting_word]

That's fine. You're still a lord. You can... tell me what to do, and I'll handle the work. You'll supervise me.

[ronderotarel]

Have you ever made fish and chips? It's easy, I know Claude's recipe! [These are good memories.] I used to supervise him too. He usually cooked with me sitting on his shoulder.

[a_parting_word]

I don't think I can manage quite that.

[ronderotarel]

It's okay. I will teach you how to tap dance like him too. [Because turning you into a Claude clone is his ultimate life goal in this city.] You know Gilbert, if Claude ever came back to me in this place, I'd still keep you as my servant. I like you. [And isn't that nice. He uses to gouge his servants' eyes out.]

[a_parting_word]

I'm not a... kept pet.

[ronderotarel]

I mean you'd still have your job! [Huffing. Seriously, he's trying to be nice for once.]

[a_parting_word]

It's not you who hired me, either.

[ronderotarel]

Why can't you just say thank you like anyone would! And by the way if Ciel's butler showed up and he decided to fire you I'd hire you instead.

[a_parting_word]

Because you're not asking me to work for you. You're telling me I shall.

[ronderotarel]

You wouldn't want to work for me? If I hired you?

2/2

[ronderotarel]

I didn't think there was the need to ask.

[a_parting_word]

Are you asking me properly?

[ronderotarel]

[This makes him giggle. For some reason Gilbert looks incredibly funny when he asks Alois to behave.] Alright. Gilbert, I'd be honored to have you as my servant in case Sebastian arrived and Ciel didnd't need you anymore. And even if Claude arrived too, I'd still be honored to have you as my employee. If that were to happen, would you like to work for me? [He feels as if he's asking for Gilbert's hand in marriage. He wonders if he should get on his knee.]

1/2

[a_parting_word]

That's... you...

[a_parting_word]

...I'll think it over.

[ronderotarel]

[Well that's a start.] You'll think it over while I teach you how to make the the most perfect fish and chips in the world. Then we can make a cake too. Ciel loves cakes.

[a_parting_word]

Lord Phantomhive also loves the things his butler makes, and you wouldn't speak of them.

[ronderotarel]

They are all sweets! Things like cakes and pastries. Ciel loves those so much. That's why I made a chocolate cake for his birthday. There was nothing else that Sebastian did for him that was so special. [Nothing that Alois can't do better, in any case.]

[a_parting_word]

Right, then. We'll do that for him. We'll behave for him, and he'll be happier for it.

[ronderotarel]

[It seems by now Gilbert knows even too well what and, more importantly, who to bring into account to make Alois stay quiet and do what he says.] Alright then.