145 DIAGNOSIS

[vicodincrutch]

After the most recent curse you may have:

• Gradual but apparent fatigue
• Loss of appetite
• Sore throat
• Swollen lymph nodes
• Rash
• Swollen liver 

Do any of these ring a bell? Yes? Congratulations, you have mono. Now you can bother a doctor. Why? Because Mono can have complications. Complications are interesting. I want them. You can come along too if you absolutely have to.

If you have:

• Dry lips
• Anxiousness
• Remorse
• Bad taste in your mouth
• Over salivation
• Bruises

Then you're a lousy kisser and should feel bad for yourself.

Comments

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[itsjustafruit]

Oh you know how some of us are about hospitals, and then there was this helpful doctor on the network and I thought to myself, "Crowley, you should talk to the good doctor." [Because his encounter with Dr. Chase went oh so well. Scaramouche, Scaramouche, will you do the fandango?]

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[vicodincrutch]

[Thunderbolts and lightning, very very frighting me.]

Yes. Well. Swollen liver, skin condition and fatigue could be fatty liver disease or worse. Shooting the breeze isn't going to fix it because this isn't a hotline.

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[itsjustafruit]

Fatty liver disease sounds delicious. What's worse? Foie gras disease?

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[vicodincrutch]

There's a reason why it's not called Strasburg Pie syndrome that's for sure.

[He's not sick. Not in the medically treatable way. House rubs his forehead and pulls back to the whiteboard to start erasing. There's a new diagnosis on his mind.]

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[itsjustafruit]

[Oh look, one that actually thinks. How novel.]

Tell me more.

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[vicodincrutch]

[This is more of an artistic piece. It sort of hearkens back to a time he staunchly believed that there was an explanation for everything. If pressed, Doctor House would say he holds that belief. Everybody lies. And he has seen too much in this damn City.

Two round balls. A shaft, a short one.]

You can't order it. I think this is a defect from birth.

[Fatty liver disease or any other diagnosis for the liver would have severe complications, painful. Especially combined with a dermal issue. Behold. Your art, Crowley.]

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[itsjustafruit]

[Crowley bursts into laughter, because you really can't impugn the size of his package.]

And you deal with people. I love it.

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[vicodincrutch]

I deal with you.

[He gives it a happy face with little stick arms for good measure.]

Video (omg his facial expression)

[itsjustafruit]

[Still laughing]

I'm a person. [Not a nice person or a human person, but a person.]

Video (it's how he feels on the inside always)

[vicodincrutch]

[Still working because it is incomplete. There's an arrow and a lazy hand writing out Crowley.]

You're a waste of time.

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[itsjustafruit]

Now in that you're wrong, but I'm quite sure I don't have "the kissing disease."

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[vicodincrutch]

Whatever you have is possibly treatable. Or a waste of time. How nice of you to not let me know either.

[Art done so he now is hobbling to get some coffee. The sound quality drops for that moment.]

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[itsjustafruit]

You were obviously bored. I was doing you a favor.