[004] video | if these walls could talk

[keepinitsaucy]

[For the past couple of weeks, things have been seeming to go fine for Andy. He's still staying at the Welcome Center, but he's managed to score a job at a corner market. Most of his nights are filled with patrolling in costume and any down time is met with either sleep or newly acquired video games.

All in all, life is pretty normal for him once again since coming to the City and he feels better prepared to handle things. Even the last couple of curses have been alright, minus the champagne shower and nearly frying himself with static shock on doorknobs.

But today? No sir, today is not a happy day.

His phone is on and the camera pans over to the toaster.]

Okay. Someone please tell the toaster that its purpose is to toast bread so I can finish making breakfast and go to work.

[At this point in time, the toaster itself pipes up, speaking gruffly and now being portrayed in a lovely shade of orange text:]

Yeah, ain't gonna happen, pal. You wanna put toast in me, you're gonna have to fight me because I ain't toastin' toast no more, NOPE. Every day you stick toast in me and do I ever get a word of thanks? NOPE. So you can take your bread and shove it right up your --

Alright, alright! Jesus! Thank you for making toast for me every day, I appreciate it, but can I please just finish so I can go?

Go to hell, kid.

Comments

[Video]

[destinedtobeunpopular]

That's the one.

I'm Merlin.

[Video]

[keepinitsaucy]

That is really freaking cool! I'm Andy, by the way. You've already met the toaster.

Mister Toaster.

Yeah, Mister Toaster.

[Video]

[destinedtobeunpopular]

Nice to meet you, Andy, Mister Toaster.

[And he leans in, a sly smile on his lips and lowering his voice as if he can actually keep this as some Big Secret.]

And, Mister Toaster, between you and me, these modern folk don't really know how good they have it. They can't appreciate folk like you because they don't understand.

[Video]

[keepinitsaucy]

I respect the toaster!

[And he cannot believe he just said that, wow.]

Finally, someone gets it! You need a new toaster, kid? 'Cause you and me, we can go places.

[Video]

[destinedtobeunpopular]

I guess you could say I do. Obviously, there's nothing that can compare to you.

[Relax, Andy, he'll try to get you your toast.]

[Video]

[keepinitsaucy]

[If the toaster could puff up with pride, it would be doing that right now.]

Nope. Nothin' can compare to me, the mighty Mister Toaster. Others try and fail.

[Video]

[destinedtobeunpopular]

I'm afraid I'm very busy today, but I will collect you when things clear up.

[Spoilers; he won't.]

In the meantime, perhaps you could be forgiving and give the fool his toast? We are only human and not as mighty.

[Video]

[keepinitsaucy]

[Mister Toaster will be heart broken.

It makes a hmmm-ing noise.]

Fine. Just this once.

[Video]

[destinedtobeunpopular]

[Oh, Mister Toaster will be back to just being a toaster after midnight, won't he?]

Great! I probably won't see you until tonight, so try to be a little tolerant.

[Video]

[keepinitsaucy]

[He will be a regular -- if slightly more likely to burn your toast -- toaster at the stroke of midnight.]

Yeah, yeah. I'll try.

[Andy turns the camera to himself, dropping his voice.]

Thanks, man. I owe you one.

[Video]

[destinedtobeunpopular]

[Very good.]

Just glad to help.