[004] video | if these walls could talk

[keepinitsaucy]

[For the past couple of weeks, things have been seeming to go fine for Andy. He's still staying at the Welcome Center, but he's managed to score a job at a corner market. Most of his nights are filled with patrolling in costume and any down time is met with either sleep or newly acquired video games.

All in all, life is pretty normal for him once again since coming to the City and he feels better prepared to handle things. Even the last couple of curses have been alright, minus the champagne shower and nearly frying himself with static shock on doorknobs.

But today? No sir, today is not a happy day.

His phone is on and the camera pans over to the toaster.]

Okay. Someone please tell the toaster that its purpose is to toast bread so I can finish making breakfast and go to work.

[At this point in time, the toaster itself pipes up, speaking gruffly and now being portrayed in a lovely shade of orange text:]

Yeah, ain't gonna happen, pal. You wanna put toast in me, you're gonna have to fight me because I ain't toastin' toast no more, NOPE. Every day you stick toast in me and do I ever get a word of thanks? NOPE. So you can take your bread and shove it right up your --

Alright, alright! Jesus! Thank you for making toast for me every day, I appreciate it, but can I please just finish so I can go?

Go to hell, kid.

Comments

[Video]

[destinedtobeunpopular]

[Oh. Well then.

He's doing his best to keep from laughing too much.]

Still with the toaster?

[Video]

[keepinitsaucy]

Yeah, it's uh... fiesty.

It's not much to ask for toast, is it?

[Video]

[destinedtobeunpopular]

Don't know.

Can I talk to it?

[Mainly because talking to a toaster seems like fun.]

[mortemscintilla]

[ staaaaaaaaaaare. ]

...Is your toaster talking?

[keepinitsaucy]

Yeah. I don't think it knows how to shut up either.

Don't you tell me to shuddap or you ain't gettin' toast ever again! ...Who're you talkin' to? I wanna see!

[With a sigh of exasperation, Andy moves the camera over so that Li and the toaster may see each other.]

Toaster, this is Li. Li, this is the toaster.

[mortemscintilla]

[ Hi Talking Toaster Hi. ]

...

Andrew.

Why is your toaster talking?

[archivy]

You could eat something else for breakfast.

[keepinitsaucy]

But I have toast every morning.

[He is a creature of habit, poor man.]

[archivy]

You will survive not having it today.

[video]

[claimyourself]

Sounds like a lost cause. Maybe go for cereal?

[video]

[keepinitsaucy]

But... Now it's just a matter of principle that I have toast.

And I think we're out of cereal.

[conesoldstober]

Having difficulties?

[keepinitsaucy]

Just a few technical ones.

[Audio:]

[intheblanks]

[Would a song help? Well, either way.]

Dear Blender,
Oh won't you help a first offender.
Oh, toaster,
Don't you put the burn on me.
Refrigerator,
Why are we always sooner or later,
Bitchin' in the kitchen' or cryin' in the bedroom all night?

[Audio:]

[keepinitsaucy]

You. Hey, you. You hittin' on my refrigerator? She's got nice jugs in 'er, but they're for my coils only, you hear?!

[mightbeconcussed]

I think maybe you need to just bagel and coffee shop it this morning.

[keepinitsaucy]

Yeah, that's starting to sound more and more appealing, actually. I can only take being insulted by an inanimate object for so long.

[errandry]

On strike, huh. It come with demands or anything?

[keepinitsaucy]

Minimum wage.

And I want you to hook me up with the refrigerator. Hey baby, what's up~

That creepy request, too.

[flensing]

[ Someone who frequents the Welcome Center regularly is stopping to stare in surprise... ]

[keepinitsaucy]

[Hey, boy!Anna, what's up? Have an Andy continuing to argue with the toaster.]

I think this place already counts as hell...

Well ain't you just the cutest pessimist, kid.

video;

[dignity_misery]

Obviously you just need to turn your rings around and slap that thing.

video;

[keepinitsaucy]

I am not slapping the toaster! ...With my luck, I'd get shocked or something.

[anunluckypenny]

That's not a very polite toaster.

I know of a few toasters that aren't talking today, if you need one?

[keepinitsaucy]

I think I'm going to skip on the toast, the more I think about it. I don't think I want anything that comes out of something with a mouth that rude.