003 | video

[blonderazorshiv]

[ A slit pupil surrounded by scales is the first thing immediately noticeable, at least until Blonde grabs his network device off the floor and frowns at it. On the kitchen floor lounges the owner of the eye; a large, incredibly unhealthy looking saltwater crocodile. ]

So, uh... Does anyone know anything about reptiles? Because I don't know about you guys, but I think she's sick.

[ The crocodile hisses, tail lashing before she... speaks? ]

Breakfast first. Then the network.

[ There's a blink from Blonde, and then he shrugs slightly. ]

Right. Well, Ms. Green and I'll just do that while we wait.

[ locked to Saya ]

Might need some help getting this new addition to work.

((ooc: Mr. Blonde has his very own dæmon for the weekend! Italics are the crocodile.))

Comments

[valentineluke]

Not a veterinarian, but I'll wager a guess she's sick from hunger pains.

[blonderazorshiv]

[ There's something that might be the crocodile equivalent of a laugh, and Blonde chuckles along. ]

I'm working on that part.

[valentineluke]

You can bypass a professional diagnosis by simply asking her.

[blonderazorshiv]

I feel fine.

You look like shit.

[ To which she responds by lightly snapping her jaws. Blonde shrugs. ]

I don't really know anything about reptiles. She could be full of it.

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[synanthrope]

[Saya's eyes are fixed on the crocodile, pale and focused]

Hello, Blonde.

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[blonderazorshiv]

[ The crocodile -- Ms. Green, or at least that's her alias now -- stares back. Blonde's the one that answers, though. ]

No making her into a purse.

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[synanthrope]

She would make a terrible purse.

[She moves the camera back a little - she's in her bedroom, still dressed]

Did she just appear?

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[blonderazorshiv]

I thought so, too.

[ Though of course she would. ]

Yeah. All of a sudden, crocodile.

[dignity_misery]

[Breakfast. Carla is anxiously devouring another package of cookies, that fucking bird she woke up to pecking and nipping viciously at her forearm, even as it's cooing and squawking,]

Hunger. Unacceptable. No more. No more.

[She wants to do anything but pay attention to it.]

You named her already?

[blonderazorshiv]

[ Blonde starts rummaging around, looking for meat, eggs -- any sort of protein that a crocodile might eat. He'd rather she didn't try and take a chunk out of... not him, somehow he gets the feeling that won't happen, but anyone else. Not now, at least. ]

Guess so.

[ She has another name, but Ms. Green will do; an alias of her own. ]

You didn't?

[dignity_misery]

No.

[The bird clearly does not like this answer, fluttering up to shoulder to pull at her hair where it's slung back loosely. She turns her head away from it, but can't bring herself to just slap it across the room like she wants to. She'd tried to set it out a window when she woke up, and had ended up just standing there shaking instead.]

Barbet. Don't pretend.

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[intheblanks]

[It's the kind of sight it would be rude not to stare at, surely.]

At the risk of sounding like a national stereotype: crocs have a different EVR profile from other reptiles. Half the time even croc-docs don't know what's making them sick. [He half shrugs, half frowns.] Could be chlamydia.

[You see, normally his concern would be with the human standing not a few feet away from the creature. But it talks and that means... does it mean...?]

Is she... someone you know?

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[blonderazorshiv]

[ Blonde has no idea what an EVR profile is, but he's just going to skip that part. ] They can get chlamydia?

[ There's an exchange of glances between man and reptile before Blonde scratches the back of his neck. ] She just showed up here this morning.

I've been here all along. You just haven't noticed.

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[intheblanks]

It's the last thing I remember making the papers.

[Big news when there's a crocodile disease problem in Australia, given the meat and skin export. Best not mention that part.]

Must be a bigger apartment than it looks.

[And that, mildly disbelieving, to Ms Green.]

[drinkslikeanan]

Cold blooded. You need to get her a heating lap. Or get some towels and sit her on the radiator.

[blonderazorshiv]

I don't think she'll fit on the radiator. Next to it, maybe.

[ At least he's not telling him that she's got chlamydia... ]

[drinkslikeanan]

Just makes sure she's warm enough. Reptiles aren't built for this climate.

You could also try putting her in the bath.

[entangles]

Are you talking reptiles the norm around here?

[blonderazorshiv]

No idea. She just showed up.

[entangles]

So it's a curse, you mean. [ Sorry, Blonde. She's using you as a sounding board.] I've been trying to make sense of these curses. See if there's a pattern, some kind of underlying trait that they all share.

Talking reptiles, birds. Adults turning into children? I don't see it.

[ruthless_hunter]

You got hit with this one too, huh?

[blonderazorshiv]

Yeah. Roommate did, too.

[ Oh-- there's a crocodile nosing at the screen, which is possibly one of the most bizarre sights Mr. Blonde has ever seen. She wants to know what companion you've got, Lockdown. ]

Yours going to eat everything in sight too?

[ruthless_hunter]

Not if I can help it.

[As if in response to the crocodile, a mechanical tasmanian devil pops her head up.]

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[fuckingbaretta]

[Just one big B( and a snort.]

[blonderazorshiv]

What?

Maybe he doesn't like breakfast.