003 | video

[blonderazorshiv]

[ A slit pupil surrounded by scales is the first thing immediately noticeable, at least until Blonde grabs his network device off the floor and frowns at it. On the kitchen floor lounges the owner of the eye; a large, incredibly unhealthy looking saltwater crocodile. ]

So, uh... Does anyone know anything about reptiles? Because I don't know about you guys, but I think she's sick.

[ The crocodile hisses, tail lashing before she... speaks? ]

Breakfast first. Then the network.

[ There's a blink from Blonde, and then he shrugs slightly. ]

Right. Well, Ms. Green and I'll just do that while we wait.

[ locked to Saya ]

Might need some help getting this new addition to work.

((ooc: Mr. Blonde has his very own dæmon for the weekend! Italics are the crocodile.))

Comments

[valentineluke]

Not a veterinarian, but I'll wager a guess she's sick from hunger pains.

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[synanthrope]

[Saya's eyes are fixed on the crocodile, pale and focused]

Hello, Blonde.

[blonderazorshiv]

[ There's something that might be the crocodile equivalent of a laugh, and Blonde chuckles along. ]

I'm working on that part.

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[blonderazorshiv]

[ The crocodile -- Ms. Green, or at least that's her alias now -- stares back. Blonde's the one that answers, though. ]

No making her into a purse.

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[synanthrope]

She would make a terrible purse.

[She moves the camera back a little - she's in her bedroom, still dressed]

Did she just appear?

[valentineluke]

You can bypass a professional diagnosis by simply asking her.

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[blonderazorshiv]

I thought so, too.

[ Though of course she would. ]

Yeah. All of a sudden, crocodile.

[dignity_misery]

[Breakfast. Carla is anxiously devouring another package of cookies, that fucking bird she woke up to pecking and nipping viciously at her forearm, even as it's cooing and squawking,]

Hunger. Unacceptable. No more. No more.

[She wants to do anything but pay attention to it.]

You named her already?

[blonderazorshiv]

I feel fine.

You look like shit.

[ To which she responds by lightly snapping her jaws. Blonde shrugs. ]

I don't really know anything about reptiles. She could be full of it.

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[synanthrope]

That's very distracting.

She looks thin. Ill-fed.

[Saya knows some about crocodiles. What Daisy's told her, at any rate]

[blonderazorshiv]

[ Blonde starts rummaging around, looking for meat, eggs -- any sort of protein that a crocodile might eat. He'd rather she didn't try and take a chunk out of... not him, somehow he gets the feeling that won't happen, but anyone else. Not now, at least. ]

Guess so.

[ She has another name, but Ms. Green will do; an alias of her own. ]

You didn't?

[valentineluke]

Being that my roommate is one, I have some knowledge. Inquire if the current temperature is to her liking.

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[blonderazorshiv]

If you're talking to him, you're talking to both of us.

[ Blonde shrugs at the camera. ]

What am I supposed to do, buy her a cow?

[blonderazorshiv]

Your roommate's a reptile?

[ But he asks. ]

It could be warmer.

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[synanthrope]

I don't think a cow would really solve the problem. In any case, it seems you are hers, until the curse ends, at least.

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[blonderazorshiv]

Guess so.

[ He tosses her an egg, and the crocodile snatches it in her jaws. ]

Don't think walking to work is going to happen, though. Not in January.

[valentineluke]

He's a python.

You should put in a large delivery order to the butcher.

[dignity_misery]

No.

[The bird clearly does not like this answer, fluttering up to shoulder to pull at her hair where it's slung back loosely. She turns her head away from it, but can't bring herself to just slap it across the room like she wants to. She'd tried to set it out a window when she woke up, and had ended up just standing there shaking instead.]

Barbet. Don't pretend.

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[synanthrope]

Would she fit in the back of the Jaguar?

[Pause]

Oh. Is that offensive?

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[intheblanks]

[It's the kind of sight it would be rude not to stare at, surely.]

At the risk of sounding like a national stereotype: crocs have a different EVR profile from other reptiles. Half the time even croc-docs don't know what's making them sick. [He half shrugs, half frowns.] Could be chlamydia.

[You see, normally his concern would be with the human standing not a few feet away from the creature. But it talks and that means... does it mean...?]

Is she... someone you know?

[blonderazorshiv]

Think I'm going to have to.

[ The crocodile appears to be smiling. But, well. It's sort of hard to tell... ]

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[blonderazorshiv]

I know you mean the car.

She's not so easily offended. [ Another egg. ] She might. Only one way to find out.

[blonderazorshiv]

[ The bird is small enough that Carla has that option. Blonde may be crazy, but he sure as hell isn't crazy enough to try wrestling a saltwater crocodile. ]

Looks like the bird's got your number.

[ Matching crocodile smiles. ]

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[blonderazorshiv]

[ Blonde has no idea what an EVR profile is, but he's just going to skip that part. ] They can get chlamydia?

[ There's an exchange of glances between man and reptile before Blonde scratches the back of his neck. ] She just showed up here this morning.

I've been here all along. You just haven't noticed.

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[intheblanks]

It's the last thing I remember making the papers.

[Big news when there's a crocodile disease problem in Australia, given the meat and skin export. Best not mention that part.]

Must be a bigger apartment than it looks.

[And that, mildly disbelieving, to Ms Green.]