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[deadmanbusiness]

[Theo looks more than a bit tired. He manages a brief smile.]

There was a litter of kittens that came through over the weekend. And I'm fairly certain one of them was more than a bit destructive.

[Damn thing ate stuff.]


If there was any damage or lost items, let me know and I'll pay you back for them.

Comments

[council_king]

... kittens.

[deadmanbusiness]

Er. Yes. Teleporting kittens and their mother. One of them was part goblin.

He eats... he eats anything.

[Father this is so embarrassing.]

[council_king]

Oh?

[deadmanbusiness]

Yeah.

And I mean anything. We haven't found a thing yet that he won't snub his nose at. It doesn't help that nothing makes him sick either.

[nosympathy]

Little gray thing that seemed to eat everything it came in contact with?

[deadmanbusiness]

Yes. That would have been Mayhem.

He didn't eat anything of yours, did he?

[nosympathy]

He tried nibbling on my bootlaces, but decided a rock was tastier.

Interesting pet.

[deadmanbusiness]

Yeah. That sounds like Mayhem. He's a sweetie, just dumb as a rock.

He's part goblin. Did you get a look at his teeth?

[unflagging]

He ate one of my plates and some of my silverware. Just to let you know.

A friend of yours says hello too, by the way. Two friends, maybe.

[deadmanbusiness]

Augh. I'm sorry. I can replace them. [He's just seeing his paychecks dwindling away here.]

They do?

[unflagging]

This must be a regular occurrence. Everyone is so willing to replace my thrift store finery.

Well, perhaps not in so many words. But they knew the cats, as you know the cats. Six degrees of separation, my friend.

[deadmanbusiness]

It's a ridiculously regular occurrence. He doesn't get sick from eating anything so he hasn't learned that there are some things he shouldn't eat.

It also doesn't help that he's as dumb as a pair of rocks. Sweet, but dumb.

Well... one of them must have been Trever. I was helping him try to cat wrangle. I don't know who the other one could be and I didn't see anyone else that I know.

[huh.]

[unflagging]

Well, at least he's sweet. It'd be a lot worse if he was mean.

Ding-ding-ding--bingo. One certainly was Trever. Poor guy. All those teleporting cats. I know I couldn't endure it if I was him.

[deadmanbusiness]

Quite worse if he was mean. He'd probably eat people then.

[Fortunately Mayhem prefers magic and inorganic substances to people flesh.]

Soon they'll be old enough to find homes for though my cousin is absolutely besotted with Mayhem and Fluffy - I don't know if you saw her, she's the one that likes water.

My uncle isn't very good at refusing her things.

[diastereomer]

They were yours?

[deadmanbusiness]

They came from my world and belong to a co-worker of mine, so I feel responsible for their antics.

Did they do anything to you?



[Off-screen/handwaved kitten antics always welcome, if you'd like.]

[diastereomer]

Interesting.

Well, not to me, no.


[ ooc: how would these destructive cats have interacted with another cat? friendly or would they have not gotten along? ]

[deadmanbusiness]

When one of them eats... stuff... sometimes valuable stuff... it's best to offer reparations before bad will shows up.

Then to who?

[ooc: OHMIGAWD IS THIS ANOTHER CAT CAN WE LOVE YOU TOO?! They're very friendly kittens. Mamma would have been around to make sure they don't get hurt. The grey one would eat anything he could.]

[diastereomer]

Well you see, your kittens found their way into my home and in their apparent enthusiasm, groomed patches of hair right off my cat.

[ Yusuf really doesn't sound like he wants reparations of any kind, he's just kind of amused. ]

If anything has gone missing, I'll be sure to contact... [ This is the part where you fill in your name! ]

[deadmanbusiness]

Father help me... I'm sorry about the cat. I didn't realize they could do that.

Generally it's inorganic items. He really likes metal or magic.

Theodred. I'm Theo. And you are?

[And yes, that is a Lord of the Rings reference. And yes, he can point out it's a Lord of the Rings reference.]

[pratful]

I thought all cats were destructive. You can't tell me this one was doing something out of the ordinary, can you? [ else Arthur hardly sees what the issue is here. ]

[deadmanbusiness]

He can eat eat anything, but he prefers metal.

[Well, how would you like holes in your armor Arthur?]

[pratful]

[ he blinked ]

Are you sure that's a cat? I mean a real one?

[ and that cat can stay far, far away from his armor. And his sword. And anything else that Arthur owns for that matter. ]

[deadmanbusiness]

[He scratches his head.]

He's part goblin. His mother is all cat though. Her owner think she's from faerie. Considering he's an expert in exotic animals, I'm inclined to believe him.

[The kitten has gone home. Which is pretty much as far away as you can get. Unless he shows up again for the next 4th wall.]

[pratful]

[ Arthur will pray that he doesn't ]

Part goblin. Well, I suppose that does explain his appetite for metal. I suppose we should be lucky he didn't eat all the coin in the land.

[ the economy could crash in an instant. ]