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[deadmanbusiness]

[Theo looks more than a bit tired. He manages a brief smile.]

There was a litter of kittens that came through over the weekend. And I'm fairly certain one of them was more than a bit destructive.

[Damn thing ate stuff.]


If there was any damage or lost items, let me know and I'll pay you back for them.

Comments

[council_king]

... kittens.

[nosympathy]

Little gray thing that seemed to eat everything it came in contact with?

[deadmanbusiness]

Er. Yes. Teleporting kittens and their mother. One of them was part goblin.

He eats... he eats anything.

[Father this is so embarrassing.]

[deadmanbusiness]

Yes. That would have been Mayhem.

He didn't eat anything of yours, did he?

[nosympathy]

He tried nibbling on my bootlaces, but decided a rock was tastier.

Interesting pet.

[council_king]

Oh?

[deadmanbusiness]

Yeah. That sounds like Mayhem. He's a sweetie, just dumb as a rock.

He's part goblin. Did you get a look at his teeth?

[deadmanbusiness]

Yeah.

And I mean anything. We haven't found a thing yet that he won't snub his nose at. It doesn't help that nothing makes him sick either.

[unflagging]

He ate one of my plates and some of my silverware. Just to let you know.

A friend of yours says hello too, by the way. Two friends, maybe.

[deadmanbusiness]

Augh. I'm sorry. I can replace them. [He's just seeing his paychecks dwindling away here.]

They do?

[unflagging]

This must be a regular occurrence. Everyone is so willing to replace my thrift store finery.

Well, perhaps not in so many words. But they knew the cats, as you know the cats. Six degrees of separation, my friend.

[deadmanbusiness]

It's a ridiculously regular occurrence. He doesn't get sick from eating anything so he hasn't learned that there are some things he shouldn't eat.

It also doesn't help that he's as dumb as a pair of rocks. Sweet, but dumb.

Well... one of them must have been Trever. I was helping him try to cat wrangle. I don't know who the other one could be and I didn't see anyone else that I know.

[huh.]

[unflagging]

Well, at least he's sweet. It'd be a lot worse if he was mean.

Ding-ding-ding--bingo. One certainly was Trever. Poor guy. All those teleporting cats. I know I couldn't endure it if I was him.

[deadmanbusiness]

Quite worse if he was mean. He'd probably eat people then.

[Fortunately Mayhem prefers magic and inorganic substances to people flesh.]

Soon they'll be old enough to find homes for though my cousin is absolutely besotted with Mayhem and Fluffy - I don't know if you saw her, she's the one that likes water.

My uncle isn't very good at refusing her things.

[unflagging]

Fluffy was playing in the sink, yeah. Clever little critter, she turned the water on all by herself.

Between that and Mayhem eating my forks, well, I sure hope those two go to loving homes.

[deadmanbusiness]

She's a damn clever little girl. Smartest of the lot, I think.

Likely they're going to my uncle's home.

[Whether or not this is a loving home is up for debate. Well, Maya will love them dearly? And his uncle seems to be fond of Mayhem. They just need to figure out away to stop him from eating everything.]

[diastereomer]

They were yours?

[deadmanbusiness]

They came from my world and belong to a co-worker of mine, so I feel responsible for their antics.

Did they do anything to you?



[Off-screen/handwaved kitten antics always welcome, if you'd like.]

[unflagging]

Better than my home.

[deadmanbusiness]

Better than my home!

[He doesn't live with his uncle after all!]

[diastereomer]

Interesting.

Well, not to me, no.


[ ooc: how would these destructive cats have interacted with another cat? friendly or would they have not gotten along? ]

[deadmanbusiness]

When one of them eats... stuff... sometimes valuable stuff... it's best to offer reparations before bad will shows up.

Then to who?

[ooc: OHMIGAWD IS THIS ANOTHER CAT CAN WE LOVE YOU TOO?! They're very friendly kittens. Mamma would have been around to make sure they don't get hurt. The grey one would eat anything he could.]

[diastereomer]

Well you see, your kittens found their way into my home and in their apparent enthusiasm, groomed patches of hair right off my cat.

[ Yusuf really doesn't sound like he wants reparations of any kind, he's just kind of amused. ]

If anything has gone missing, I'll be sure to contact... [ This is the part where you fill in your name! ]

[deadmanbusiness]

Father help me... I'm sorry about the cat. I didn't realize they could do that.

Generally it's inorganic items. He really likes metal or magic.

Theodred. I'm Theo. And you are?

[And yes, that is a Lord of the Rings reference. And yes, he can point out it's a Lord of the Rings reference.]

[diastereomer]

It's no problem. Rhada used to have a kitten to corral, but now all she has is a pudgy corgi to boss around. It seems to me her regrets are few.

[ LotR reference, meet the space above Yusuf's head! Try Arthur next time, he'll surely get it. ]

Yusuf.