1 [video]

[goshdarnbatku]

[All that's visible for the moment is a belly button and an unbuttoned shirt and the top of a pair of jeans; the video feed starts rather abruptly as he's clearly set it off accidentally because no one in their right mind would want to make a first impression with their navel. He's talking to himself though, thinking out loud more than anything.]

-where do I even start to look? I don't even know what kind of world this place is.

[The stomach moves in time to the sound of a resigned sigh, before the world shifts. Or rather the camera does, as the device moves and the owner of the voice and the midriff comes into focus; it's a boy, around sixteen or seventeen, with bright aquamarine eyes and silver hair framing his face. He's frowning as he concentrates on the device.]

How does this thing wor-

[And then he appears to realise that it is apparently working extremely well, and without his knowledge, as his eyes widen and he looks momentarily surprised before he schools his expression back into something a little more calm, but with perhaps an air of sheepishness.]

I guess it works better than I though. Uh... hi.

[He pauses, as though put on the spot suddenly having to address a strange device with no forethought.]

I don't really know what this thing is, but it looks like it's recording. Maybe it's a video diary or something? I don't get it.

[He looks up and around, looking for someone in the area who could maybe explain better but seems to be dissatisfied as he looks back at the camera a few seconds later.]

If anyone's watching this, I'm by a carousel. My name's Riku, and I could really use a clue about where I am right now. I guess that's all, thanks.

Comments

[binarysky]

We might go for a walk, too.

[ Or go someplace where he can sit and think and Axel can play. Even reeling from the surprise, it occurs to him that it'd be a bad idea to overtax her puppy paws when she's been walking around for quite a while already.]

You can go ahead and have it without me. I'm not hungry.

[The lie is obvious, the reason behind it less so, but Roxas can't bother to care. He just needs some time to clear his thoughts and figure out how he really feels about this and what to do next.]

[goshdarnbatku]

[Riku could be pedantic and protest the validity of that claim, seeing as it was Roxas who brought up the idea of pizza in the first place, but judging by how uncomfortable everyone is right now that's probably not the smartest of ideas. He doesn't miss the look Sora shoots at him and shrugs, body language yelling 'don't look at me, I don't know what to do about it' and he dearly wishes he did.

But he also knows that there's no point trying to bluster in trying to make things hunky dory immediately. It's going to take some time.]

You know, there's some things I should probably talk to you guys about. A lot of stuff's happened back home and both of you need to hear about it.

[That's the best he can do, try to get Roxas to be curious enough to want to come back. He wants to start over, make sure nothing's hidden from anyone. He's had enough of keeping secrets.]

Maybe it'd be better to hear on a full stomach.

[skylight]

[ Arms at his sides, Sora does another back-and-forth look between the other two; his expression shifts somewhere undecided, a hybrid of question marks and someone explain and not knowing himself what else to say. He crouches low to scratch Axel behind her ears though, gratified at the frenzied puppy love expressed by a lick-attack on his hand and wrist. His eyes remain pacing between Riku and Roxas however.

He's been here long enough, lived with Roxas long enough that he's more attuned to his other; he doesn't want to corner him, even if he doesn't know where the corner even is in this context. But he doesn't want to stay in the dark either. Riku himself seems amenable to explanation but it's clear he and Roxas are aware of something Sora is finitely not - a big something. His brow pinches again and he speaks with uncharacteristic tentativeness, ]

Well…I mean…if you really want to walk her for longer…we'll wait? I'm not starving or anything…and it'd be better to eat together…maybe Ventus will be back by then too?

[ It's not exactly true -- that it would be 'better' to eat together; that's obvious but selfishly it's what Sora wants and more importantly then Riku can share or explain or whatever he's talking about. Under his breath Sora sighs. ]

[binarysky]

[ Roxas doesn't know what to make of Riku's words, and doesn't especially want to stop and figure them out just now.

He can still remember feeling okay about things, at peace. Almost happy in those few moments they'd had, him and Namine insubstantial but present with their others. It was how things needed to be, and he could handle that.

But he's been on his own longer now, lived in the City for more days than he ever lived anywhere else. Curses and friends and enemies that come and go stir up less-peaceful memories. ]

Do whatever you want. I dunno when I'll be back.

[ Again, he starts to go, no destination in mind—he just doesn't want to be here with a person who helped give him a fake life and then ripped it all away. Not when he's built his own here.

But he does glance over his shoulder, briefly. Not at Sora.]

Welcome to the City.

[goshdarnbatku]

[Welp. This sure is awkward.

Riku tries his hardest not to squirm with guilt and looks at Sora.]

I was afraid that might happen.

[skylight]

[ At this point Sora wants two bodies -- but his own -- one to go after Roxas and one to stay here and prod Riku until he explains what all Sora himself is missing out on here -- something big obviously but gray other than that still. He starts to ask Roxas to wait again just because it's an impulse; he can't think of what else but then Roxas is gone and Sora has his foot in the door as if that's going to convince him to come back. His eyes flick back to Riku though, less what the heck and more what's going on, what aren't you telling me, what happened, a barrage as much as Sora is capable of at least. ]

What's going on?

Why's he...why're you...

[ Not the most articulate but it doesn't help by and large that he's not even clear what he ought to be asking other than asking for an explanation. His gaze darts back out the door, despite the hall now being quite empty.

He knows he can't just let Roxas go out indefinitely, not like that and then there's Axel to worry about too in the cold weather. But hurrying after him without at least asking for some kind of clarification from Riku who obviously knows more than Sora (not exactly a lot new there in many ways) doesn't make sense either. So he waits, expression plainly still stuck in the posture of what was that about? ]

[goshdarnbatku]

[Riku sighs and really wishes he doesn't have to do this now when there's so much more on everyone else's plate, but he also knows that at the point Sora remembers him from, he hadn't been completely honest with him about his part in Roxas' return to him, or what he had done to facilitate his best friend's Nobody being in such a position in the first place.

How he'd seen the end of Roxas to be a sad but necessary sacrifice to bring Sora back. How he hadn't even begun to realise that maybe, just maybe, the Nobody was as extraordinary as the original and had perhaps started to shape his own heart for himself. If he'd only taken the time-

But he hadn't known back then, and they were getting desperate, time was running out and Sora had to wake up. It makes him sick to the stomach looking back now, knowing what he knows.

He braces himself, squares his shoulders and lets out the breath he's holding.]

Because I've got no right to expect Roxas to be okay with me being here. I've never given him any reason to think anything other but bad things about me. We fought. He beat me, but I- I was prepared to do whatever it took to get hold of him so we could wake you up.

[He can't meet Sora's eye. There's more to it, more deceitful and cruel aspects that he's still ashamed of, but can't bring himself to say. Not until he's apologised to Roxas for it.]

I don't blame him for being upset. I'd be upset too. You should go after him, see if he's okay.

[skylight]

[ Part of Sora isn't surprised by this. He knew even if he didn't know; hearing it plain sheds a sharper light, uncomfortable if true. He wishes more than ever that he could go two directions at once -- one to stay and one to chase after his other.

---see if he's okay. ]

He's not.

[ It comes out without planning to say it - that Roxas is obviously not okay. The thing is, Sora knows Riku is aware of this (the other boy said as much) but he finds himself drawn in two directions so vehemently he can't help but be frustrated and Sora's often had a habit of stating the obvious anyway -- bad or good.

He doesn't trust that the moment he leaves the apartment, the second Riku is out of his immediate presence, he'll disappear again. Similarly in its own right, he is afraid that if he leaves Roxas to his own devices, then 'later' will become tomorrow and tomorrow will become the next day, so on and so forth. A person doesn't need to be thoroughly versed in reading possibilities to see that as a very real potential, especially with Riku's foreseeable permanence.

Worrying his lower lip, Sora then exhales roughly before running a hand through his spiky hair. Then he steps closer to Riku, angling his own head as need-be to catch his direct gaze. ]

You ...just don't go anywhere. Okay? Okay...I'm going...after him.

[ I have to. But...don't leave. This won't be easy. It's...not supposed to be. Just...don't leave.

He can't quite say these things, but they exist in the order -- not a question, no time to give the option and he doesn't want to give the choice anyway; he wants something certain at least for a little while, even if it's difficult, even if what's been comfortable now suddenly draws itself up in a different shape. The core may still be there, heavily rooted.

His eyes remain locked if Riku lets them for a moment, and Sora blinks before backing away then slipping out the door to hurry after Roxas and Axel, hoping to catch them nearby still. Apologies sit on his own tongue. Riku did what he did to save him and though he's not got the details even now, that central truth makes for his focal point. ]

[binarysky]

[ Roxas isn't actually that far away. A block or two, just far enough to be out of immediate sight, because as much as he needed to escape the shock and awkwardness of the unexpected encounter, he hadn't actually wanted to go anywhere in particular. That was a lie that barely even counted, because it was so obvious that everyone saw through it. Even Sora, he was certain.

Axel had still done her business against a bush, though. And then she looked back toward the way they'd come, toward home, because that was the routine and she was a well-trained dog. But she hadn't shied away when he'd asked her to hop up on the bench beside him and cuddled up, resting one cheek against her fur. Good dog, named for his best friend.

The cuddling was to make him feel a little better, but also because it was cold and he'd stupidly left his jacket inside, something Roxas hadn't realized until he was too far away to go back for it. (Not that he would have anyway.)

Sora's coming. Roxas is sure of this down to his bones even before he hears the footsteps, which doesn't take very long. Call it a connection between Somebody and Nobody or just between friends. He's already running through what he'll say to him, because this can't be easy for Sora, either, and Roxas just made it worse. But what comes out isn't particularly impressive, or very graceful. ]

Hey. Sorry I freaked out. Don't be mad.

[ He can't even meet Sora's eyes as he speaks. All he can see is the overly-large shoes his Other favors. ]

[skylight]

[ Sora isn't mad, he isn't remotely mad, and he shakes his head at his Other to say as much, a sort of 'don't worry about it' undertone to the motion. Like Roxas, Sora doesn't have a jacket (having stupidly left his inside before anyway, which means he's half acclimated and half numb probably but hardly what he's concerned with in any kind of priority) and when he exhales it's still cold enough to see his breath hang in the air. He blinks at Roxas and then at Axel, feeling for some reason like he should ask if he can sit too but then, being Sora, doesn't.

Roxas is his friend; that hasn't changed.

All that happened which Sora still doesn't know explicitly hasn't changed either though and when he sits, he folds his hands, ridiculously oversized shoes kicking back and forth. If Sora might have a nervous tic, it could be that - the agitation of a stationary version of pacing.

He opens his mouth once, twice, three times before just turning so he is sitting sideways on the bench, drawing his legs up criss-cross applesauce style, reaching out to scritch Axel under her chin gently. ]

I'm not mad, [ he settles on, eyes lifting. ] I'm... I....don't know what's going on.

[ His heart hurts a little though, but he can't distinguish it from the pang of something empathetically known and the problem of everything unknown. ]

[binarysky]

I know. I should have told you, but...

[ I didn't want you to know. I didn't want you to be hurt, the way you look hurt now. I didn't want you to look at your best friend the way I looked at mine once. ]

I didn't expect to see him.

[ Axel nuzzles into Sora's touch, and the tiny happy panting noises thaw the atmosphere enough for Roxas to shift sideways himself until he's facing Sora but still not looking at him. ]

We don't...we didn't always get along so well. Before the City, I mean.

[ Riku in the City seems like like ago. For Roxas, it was. But he'd known even less than Sora did then, and even now Sora only knows half the story. ]

You remember what I told you about what happened to me before I woke you up.

[skylight]

You didn't have to tell me...I mean....I want to know because...because you're my friend. And...

[ You shouldn't have to keep things to yourself? Sora isn't sure that's the way he wants to say it; after all if Roxas wants to, that's up to him either way but it feels heavy, like something that needs to be gotten out, unhappy though it must be. ]

And well, I didn't expect him either. Not after...all this time. So...we're in the same boat there. Kind of.

[ Sora is very much aware of how Roxas won't look at him, but he listens closely -- maybe more closely than Sora has a reputation for honestly, and for good reason too. Still scritching Axel gently, he considers picking her up to hug but somehow that seems like something that can wait while Roxas works through what he wants to say. For his part, Sora nods, blinking once in acknowledgment. ]

I remember. --what you said I mean.

[ He can't say much to 'didn't always get along', which unbeknownst to him is an understatement to end understatements, so he waits, still petting Axel, wondering what it would be like if Axel's namesake ever showed up and stuck around too. ]

[binarysky]

That's why I didn't tell you. You're my friend; I didn't want it to hurt you.

[ He knows Sora almost as well as he knows himself these days. Better, in some ways. So Roxas knows exactly what it'll be like for him to hear what Riku's done.

Heck, he'd know that anyway. Sora isn't the only one with a best friend who's done awful things. ]

Right, so... [ He takes a breath. No more avoiding it. ] DiZ didn't do it alone. I didn't even meet him until the end, when he projected himself into the room where your pod was...I would have attacked him if I could. I tried, but he was just a hologram.

There was another guy, though. I saw him a couple times, but I didn't know what I was seeing. I didn't know anything, didn't even know who I really was.

But I did, at the end. I remembered everything. And I realized how I got there.

[ He takes a breath. ] It was Riku. The town belonged to DiZ, but after we fought, Riku took me to him. DiZ rewrote my memories and Riku helped him do it.

[skylight]

[ It's horrible. It's also strange the way horrible things some part of you knew already tend to be. He had no tangible, conscious knowledge of it, and maybe it comes less of something deep seated in him than it does of having grown closer to Roxas, but when Roxas explains in plainest terms what actually happened, it accompanies a physical pain in his chest. If he thinks on Riku's guilt, how it seemed so much more than Sora himself could account for and understand, it makes that much more sense -- the resignation to darkness, as if even when he tried to do good that was all he could operate from.

But what to say? ]

I'm ....I'm sorry. ...that it happened and that you've been...carrying it around....on your own.

[ He knows that is not nearly enough but he feels the pressing urgency to blurt out something, the way one does when nerves and a keen sense of something wrong having happened bundle together. His exhale is a worried huff as he stares down at the top of Axel's head -- Axel who has, sometime since, somehow wedged herself between them, head tucked into Roxas' side, tail flipping back and forth against Sora's arm. ]

I didn't... [ know.

The pause here is longer, his internal grasping for the questions he wants to ask at odds with the sentiments he wants to communicate, and Sora more feeling than flowery language is transparent -- his expression shifting with each consideration.

Why? ] ...he shouldn't have.

[ In the end Sora goes with this, at least for this instant, not wanting to make Roxas more uncomfortable than he must be already; this is not the kind of thing one wants to tell a friend about another friend, not something one wants to have transpired at all. Sora will never be famous for patience or tact but he makes up for some of it in other facets: kindness, and the capacity of what friendship means to someone like Sora.

Between them, Axel lifts her head and sits up, lifting and pressing both front paws into Roxas' side. It's almost cat-like in a funny way until Axel tries to lean higher and start licking the blonde's face, like she wants him to be okay too. ]

[binarysky]

[ Is this what it feels like to see a heart break from the outside? Roxas hopes not. Cracked or bruised, he can live with, but not broken, not when it's Sora's. All of this was because of him, but that's not the same as it being his fault. ]

I know.

[ About both parts.

Axel catches his attention then and Roxas actually smiles against the doggy licks. There's sadness in the smile, but it's still there. ]

It doesn't hurt so much anymore. But it just kinda came back. I wasn't expecting it.

[conjoins]

[ a few moments after Sora leaves, Ventus walks in, a now-empty bag slung over his shoulder and a stack of pizza boxes in hand. ]

Hey, guys! I brought—[ when he spots Riku, though, he stops, head tilting quizzically. ]

Uh... [ he's confused as to who this person is (although, Riku no doubt is even more confused), and he shifts unsurely, but he.. looks harmless enough—at least, he doesn't look like he's trying to wreck the place or anything. ] Hi? [ after a pause, he tacks on as an afterthought, ] You here for Sora or Roxas?

[goshdarnbatku]

[Riku performs a double take when he hears Ventus' voice, because he certainly wasn't expecting Roxas to be back so soon and in such high spirits, but then he remembers that there's a third boy who lives here and he's supposed to look like Roxas.

And, strange though it will no doubt sound to all three of them when he eventually gets round to telling them, Riku's met him before. He knows in an instant; this is the second boy on the beach in Sora's heart, the one he mistook for Roxas. The hows and whys he's not even remotely wise to, but there's no doubt in his mind that this is him.

He takes a second to recover from his surprise before he reacts.]

Kinda, I think I might be staying with you guys for a while.

[Unless the situation with Roxas doesn't improve, in which case Riku has no idea where he'll wind up living.]

You must be Ventus, I'm Riku.