1 [video]

[goshdarnbatku]

[All that's visible for the moment is a belly button and an unbuttoned shirt and the top of a pair of jeans; the video feed starts rather abruptly as he's clearly set it off accidentally because no one in their right mind would want to make a first impression with their navel. He's talking to himself though, thinking out loud more than anything.]

-where do I even start to look? I don't even know what kind of world this place is.

[The stomach moves in time to the sound of a resigned sigh, before the world shifts. Or rather the camera does, as the device moves and the owner of the voice and the midriff comes into focus; it's a boy, around sixteen or seventeen, with bright aquamarine eyes and silver hair framing his face. He's frowning as he concentrates on the device.]

How does this thing wor-

[And then he appears to realise that it is apparently working extremely well, and without his knowledge, as his eyes widen and he looks momentarily surprised before he schools his expression back into something a little more calm, but with perhaps an air of sheepishness.]

I guess it works better than I though. Uh... hi.

[He pauses, as though put on the spot suddenly having to address a strange device with no forethought.]

I don't really know what this thing is, but it looks like it's recording. Maybe it's a video diary or something? I don't get it.

[He looks up and around, looking for someone in the area who could maybe explain better but seems to be dissatisfied as he looks back at the camera a few seconds later.]

If anyone's watching this, I'm by a carousel. My name's Riku, and I could really use a clue about where I am right now. I guess that's all, thanks.

Comments

[binarysky]

[ Roxas isn't actually that far away. A block or two, just far enough to be out of immediate sight, because as much as he needed to escape the shock and awkwardness of the unexpected encounter, he hadn't actually wanted to go anywhere in particular. That was a lie that barely even counted, because it was so obvious that everyone saw through it. Even Sora, he was certain.

Axel had still done her business against a bush, though. And then she looked back toward the way they'd come, toward home, because that was the routine and she was a well-trained dog. But she hadn't shied away when he'd asked her to hop up on the bench beside him and cuddled up, resting one cheek against her fur. Good dog, named for his best friend.

The cuddling was to make him feel a little better, but also because it was cold and he'd stupidly left his jacket inside, something Roxas hadn't realized until he was too far away to go back for it. (Not that he would have anyway.)

Sora's coming. Roxas is sure of this down to his bones even before he hears the footsteps, which doesn't take very long. Call it a connection between Somebody and Nobody or just between friends. He's already running through what he'll say to him, because this can't be easy for Sora, either, and Roxas just made it worse. But what comes out isn't particularly impressive, or very graceful. ]

Hey. Sorry I freaked out. Don't be mad.

[ He can't even meet Sora's eyes as he speaks. All he can see is the overly-large shoes his Other favors. ]

[skylight]

[ Sora isn't mad, he isn't remotely mad, and he shakes his head at his Other to say as much, a sort of 'don't worry about it' undertone to the motion. Like Roxas, Sora doesn't have a jacket (having stupidly left his inside before anyway, which means he's half acclimated and half numb probably but hardly what he's concerned with in any kind of priority) and when he exhales it's still cold enough to see his breath hang in the air. He blinks at Roxas and then at Axel, feeling for some reason like he should ask if he can sit too but then, being Sora, doesn't.

Roxas is his friend; that hasn't changed.

All that happened which Sora still doesn't know explicitly hasn't changed either though and when he sits, he folds his hands, ridiculously oversized shoes kicking back and forth. If Sora might have a nervous tic, it could be that - the agitation of a stationary version of pacing.

He opens his mouth once, twice, three times before just turning so he is sitting sideways on the bench, drawing his legs up criss-cross applesauce style, reaching out to scritch Axel under her chin gently. ]

I'm not mad, [ he settles on, eyes lifting. ] I'm... I....don't know what's going on.

[ His heart hurts a little though, but he can't distinguish it from the pang of something empathetically known and the problem of everything unknown. ]

[binarysky]

I know. I should have told you, but...

[ I didn't want you to know. I didn't want you to be hurt, the way you look hurt now. I didn't want you to look at your best friend the way I looked at mine once. ]

I didn't expect to see him.

[ Axel nuzzles into Sora's touch, and the tiny happy panting noises thaw the atmosphere enough for Roxas to shift sideways himself until he's facing Sora but still not looking at him. ]

We don't...we didn't always get along so well. Before the City, I mean.

[ Riku in the City seems like like ago. For Roxas, it was. But he'd known even less than Sora did then, and even now Sora only knows half the story. ]

You remember what I told you about what happened to me before I woke you up.

[skylight]

You didn't have to tell me...I mean....I want to know because...because you're my friend. And...

[ You shouldn't have to keep things to yourself? Sora isn't sure that's the way he wants to say it; after all if Roxas wants to, that's up to him either way but it feels heavy, like something that needs to be gotten out, unhappy though it must be. ]

And well, I didn't expect him either. Not after...all this time. So...we're in the same boat there. Kind of.

[ Sora is very much aware of how Roxas won't look at him, but he listens closely -- maybe more closely than Sora has a reputation for honestly, and for good reason too. Still scritching Axel gently, he considers picking her up to hug but somehow that seems like something that can wait while Roxas works through what he wants to say. For his part, Sora nods, blinking once in acknowledgment. ]

I remember. --what you said I mean.

[ He can't say much to 'didn't always get along', which unbeknownst to him is an understatement to end understatements, so he waits, still petting Axel, wondering what it would be like if Axel's namesake ever showed up and stuck around too. ]

[binarysky]

That's why I didn't tell you. You're my friend; I didn't want it to hurt you.

[ He knows Sora almost as well as he knows himself these days. Better, in some ways. So Roxas knows exactly what it'll be like for him to hear what Riku's done.

Heck, he'd know that anyway. Sora isn't the only one with a best friend who's done awful things. ]

Right, so... [ He takes a breath. No more avoiding it. ] DiZ didn't do it alone. I didn't even meet him until the end, when he projected himself into the room where your pod was...I would have attacked him if I could. I tried, but he was just a hologram.

There was another guy, though. I saw him a couple times, but I didn't know what I was seeing. I didn't know anything, didn't even know who I really was.

But I did, at the end. I remembered everything. And I realized how I got there.

[ He takes a breath. ] It was Riku. The town belonged to DiZ, but after we fought, Riku took me to him. DiZ rewrote my memories and Riku helped him do it.

[skylight]

[ It's horrible. It's also strange the way horrible things some part of you knew already tend to be. He had no tangible, conscious knowledge of it, and maybe it comes less of something deep seated in him than it does of having grown closer to Roxas, but when Roxas explains in plainest terms what actually happened, it accompanies a physical pain in his chest. If he thinks on Riku's guilt, how it seemed so much more than Sora himself could account for and understand, it makes that much more sense -- the resignation to darkness, as if even when he tried to do good that was all he could operate from.

But what to say? ]

I'm ....I'm sorry. ...that it happened and that you've been...carrying it around....on your own.

[ He knows that is not nearly enough but he feels the pressing urgency to blurt out something, the way one does when nerves and a keen sense of something wrong having happened bundle together. His exhale is a worried huff as he stares down at the top of Axel's head -- Axel who has, sometime since, somehow wedged herself between them, head tucked into Roxas' side, tail flipping back and forth against Sora's arm. ]

I didn't... [ know.

The pause here is longer, his internal grasping for the questions he wants to ask at odds with the sentiments he wants to communicate, and Sora more feeling than flowery language is transparent -- his expression shifting with each consideration.

Why? ] ...he shouldn't have.

[ In the end Sora goes with this, at least for this instant, not wanting to make Roxas more uncomfortable than he must be already; this is not the kind of thing one wants to tell a friend about another friend, not something one wants to have transpired at all. Sora will never be famous for patience or tact but he makes up for some of it in other facets: kindness, and the capacity of what friendship means to someone like Sora.

Between them, Axel lifts her head and sits up, lifting and pressing both front paws into Roxas' side. It's almost cat-like in a funny way until Axel tries to lean higher and start licking the blonde's face, like she wants him to be okay too. ]

[binarysky]

[ Is this what it feels like to see a heart break from the outside? Roxas hopes not. Cracked or bruised, he can live with, but not broken, not when it's Sora's. All of this was because of him, but that's not the same as it being his fault. ]

I know.

[ About both parts.

Axel catches his attention then and Roxas actually smiles against the doggy licks. There's sadness in the smile, but it's still there. ]

It doesn't hurt so much anymore. But it just kinda came back. I wasn't expecting it.