poly_chromatic | 007 [Video] || My heart kept breaking. I threw it against the wall Can anyone feel me at all?

Entry tags:

marvel 616 - natasha romanoff

007 [Video] || My heart kept breaking. I threw it against the wall Can anyone feel me at all?

I suppose it was just a matter of time before I got another reminder.

[The red head looks at from the phone to the thin box chain around her neck and the charm. A delicate fragile looking silver heart the size of a quarter with James' star in the center of it. The same one that he has on his shoulder back home, now miniaturized and placed in the center of a stupid metal heart on a chain around her neck. ]

This place... it never does quite let you get back on your feet before it knocks them back out from under you again. [This time? This time it's almost like a punch to the gut. James' star. Of course that's what she'd get.

Green eyes drift from the charm back to the device and she sighs. She's already wasted far too much time just staring. Letting the little heart spin around on the chain and watching as the image appears and vanishes from sight with every turn.]

A curse I'm assuming? Anything special I need to know?

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Are you kidding? You probably went and broke the little guy's heart, 'cause he's been chasing after you for months.

[ He shrugs out of his jacket, hanging it on the doorknob and leaving his device in there to make it easier to ignore, and then he sits on the edge of the bed, the mattress dipping as he kicks off his boots, not bothering to unfasten them first.

He looks back at her over his shoulder, a smirk on his face. ] Guess he's gonna be giving me daggers for taking his place, so we're in it together.

Well, breaking hearts is sort of my thing. I like him... I do. He's just not my type.

[It takes effort not to just...curl into him as soon as he's sitting on the bed. She waits for him to get his boots off, and smiles at him when he looks over his shoulder at her.]

If he hasn't figured out by now that you are...then I feel really bad for him. [More her type that is. This whole... relationship between the two of them is hurdling toward something, and she's not sure she can stop it, or if she even wants to.] We'll call him back over in a little bit, give him some time to be destructive.

It's cause he sheds hair everywhere, right?

[ There's a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth, but it doesn't quite make it through properly, the weight of her words not going unnoticed. But they're both broken, aren't they, in one way or another? At least if he can't do anything else to help, he can empathise, can understand the basics of what it is.

The boots off, Clint doesn't waste any more time pushing them into the side of the bed and throwing his legs up onto the bed, easily shifting into the welcoming space beside her. ] He'll bounce back, he always does. A good slobber on someone and he'll be fine.

It really is, and the whole not using the toilet thing.

[She's been broken for so long she doesn't know what it's like to not be. Restraining herself a moment longer she lets him get situated and bumps his shoulder with hers, much more relaxed.]

I'm sure he will, we'll let him at Stiles later, that should fix it.

[Sliding down from her place she settles herself against him with her head on his chest.]

...I don't know what to think anymore.

Hey, now, c'mon, that was on me more than it was on him. [ Assuming she's referring to one of many incidents where he's not taken him out on time.

He lowers his head, lips curling into something soft and warm, and he leans into her just a little. ]

Stiles'll love that. [ He's still a little worried about Stiles, though, which is probably why his amusement doesn't quite reach a laugh. ] Sometimes I think he loves that kid more than me.

[ He doesn't think anything of it, a hand automatically going to rest atop of her head, fingers lightly stroking her hair. ]

This place really knows how to fuck with us.

[She snorts a little, breath of a laugh.]

We've gotten lazy. Never thought that would be possible, but we have.

[It's comforting, to have him lean into her- to be that comfortable together.]

The kid's easy to like. Even I might like him more than you. [It's okay, she worries about him too, and about his friend Issac-

Did she tell him that she told Issac he could come over any time? She thinks she did... It's not the time to worry about it though..

By the way, she was teasing about liking the kid more. But that's a given, right?]

It really does. [She looks up at him a little.] I can handle it fucking with me, but this? This was more than a little cruel to both of us.

It's tragic. [ Because it's true, even if he is grinning like he doesn't really care. He does things around the City, works on the force, but he's let his guard down, doesn't work out like he did, and maybe they should do something about it before something happens because of it. ] We should train together sometime. Put it right.

[ He huffs a laugh at that, but he doesn't disagree. He practically adopted Stiles the second he arrived in the City, along with a few others who have come and gone, but he doesn't doubt she cares just as much as he does, and she's probably better for them than he ever could be.

Sobering, Clint shrugs a lazy shoulder, and if he curls his arm around her a little more firmly and strokes further down her hair, well, no one needs to mention it. ] Can't all be fun and games, I suppose. If there was something to shoot at, I'd be doing it. [ Anything to stop how vulnerable she looks, how sad she looks; that on its own is enough to make his heart ache. ]

We should. It's been a while since I've handed you your ass. [She gives him a little quirk of a grin, because she will do it and it's so much fun.

There are so many people here who need... guidance. They need someone like Clint and Natasha, well adjusted and understanding. At least, that's the face they put on for those out there who need to see it. It's the least she can do to take a few kids aside and help them. It keeps her mind off the things she can't do anything about anyway.

She nods, relaxing further into his side with a little sigh, her arm draped over his chest.]

No, it can't. [That brings a soft fond smile, even if he can't see it because of her new position. She really hates feeling so vulnerable. Every thing is raw and The City knows just where to poke her to make it the most.] I know you would, and that means more than you know.

That a challenge, Romanoff? [ He teases, but he knows it is, and that she'll make good on it. Still, getting his ass kicked by a sexy assassin never did him any harm before, and it'll probably get him sorted here to have a reminder, get to work his muscles in ways he's not done for so long. ] 'Cause you know I'm good for it.

[ He sometimes feels selfish for it, for helping others, because it helps him in the process without him having to ask. It's cheating in a way, he thinks, but no one really loses, so who's it hurting? Besides, the kids usually appreciate it, and he knows all too well what it was like to be young and lost, alone, without anyone, so if he can give that to someone else where he lacked it, then, well, what's the problem, right? ]

Used to rock myself to sleep at night with the hope they'd show their faces down here, but if it's not happened already, I'm thinking it never will. [ But it's not as if they've done him too wrongly, if he's honest; kidnapped him, yes, locked him and others away here without a means to get back, sure, but he had a second chance with Phil he never thought he would have, a third to put even that right if he ever locates the illusive man, and he's got Natasha, even if she's not the one who shares his memories, she's somehow closer, crosses lines that never would have otherwise. ] Guess we're not going anywhere anytime soon.

I think it is, Agent Barton. [She smirks turning her head to look up at him a little. It might be good for both of them.] Oh, we'll see about that.

[Nothing really selfish about it- okay so maybe it is a little, but then again neither of them really got the treatment they deserved growing up, so to be able to help someone else... to not have to feel that way, well if it's selfish then that's fine with her.]

If they ever do, I'll be standing right next to you, but you're right I don't think it ever will. They're cowards and don't want to face us.

[As far as things go, she'd like to hope that maybe he hasn't had to suffer as much. He's had things go at least a little better since he's been here. She can bear the weight of the bad things, if it means someone she cares about doesn't have to.]

Edited 2013-02-08 17:25 (UTC)

You're on. First chance we get? We're doing this.

[ Sitting with her, here, just the two of them and their ability to feel comfortable enough with each other, to trust each other, enough to relax, it's helping Clint feel ten times better already. Sometimes he forgets how much it helps to be around someone he knows has his back until he's there with them, even if a part of him does feel guilty for it. ]

It makes you wonder. [ There's a pause before he elaborates, a thoughtful frowning twisting at his features, because he usually tries to avoid thinking about it. ] It's one thing turning half the citizens into the opposite gender or dressing 'em up, but there's got to be an ultimate goal here. Right?

[ He doesn't sound as sure as he thinks he probably should, been here too long and not fount anything hinting towards an overall goal for the gods, but if anyone's considered it, stopped to think about what it might all mean, then she's got to be one of them. ]

Just tell me where and when, I'll be there.

[Trust is the important thing here. Being able to trust someone enough to be content like this. It helps. He helps.]

You would think so. What it is I haven't figured out yet. [Not for lack of thinking about it. She has thought about it, she's tried to make sense of some of the things that go on. And nothing.] Like....what is the point of the hippos the other day? I mean... [She pulls the chain and charm out of her blouse.] This? I can see the point of this... But the hippos?

You free Sunday evening?

[ He takes an odd sense of comfort from knowing that she's no doubt gone through and over the same angles of thought that he has on the matter, even though he wishes he could switch it off like others here appear to do. ]

You've got to admit, the hippos? They were kinda cute. And Fury was sad to see them go. [ But joking aside, really, what was that? And the chain, hanging there, draws a sigh from him. ] Can't even begin to imagine. Observing reactions to alien concepts is a possibility, I suppose, but there's better ways to go about it. And why? Why all this, why here, why this approach? None of it makes sense.

I believe I am.

[It's who they are, if they didn't go over everything and try to see things from every possible way they could they wouldn't be able to... survive. They need to read into things and try to make sense of all of it.

Not being able to make sense of it is...frustrating. Extremely frustrating.

She nods smiling a little.]

They were pretty cute, and I bet you would have kept one if they would have let you.

[She sits up and shakes her head. She's seen her fair share of... experimenting in her life, more than anyone should have to. Glancing at the heart on the chain she sighs and drops it back down her shirt.]

It doesn't make sense, maybe it's not supposed to. [Too often...things like this are senseless and done without regard to the people they hurt.] Maybe they have a plan that we just don't understand.

We'll make a day of it.

[ He snorts a laugh at that, eyes crinkling with it and expression turning into something sheepish, and he buries his face in her hair for a moment until he wipes it away.

Lying, Clint is lying. ] Never would've kept one. Who'd wanna go and do a thing like that? [ He would have kept them all.

He watches her from the awkward angle, smiling sadly at the way she looks at the thing; curse aside, she really must have loved him, and he wants to ask, to hear about what that's like, but it's not his place and he knows she won't put information forward unless she wants to. Besides, he's got his own baggage, and he's not sure if he could talk about it if he tried. ]

Maybe. Guess we're in it for the long-haul if that's the case. They're taking their damn time getting to the point.

Perfect.

[He really is... amazing. She really is glad she has him especially because of moments like these, because she likes to hear him laugh.]

My mistake, it must be me that's the one that collects the strays.

[Oh she knows, and he's adorable- more so if he expects her to believe he wouldn't have kept them. Natasha leans back against him, and huffs a quiet little sigh.

She die- she does love him. She hates that this place is using that against her so much right now. So much. It's a cruel joke.

There is a long quiet moment before she speaks again, she doesn't move - her head rested on his chest her arm over him. Her voice is soft and quiet.]

Guess we are. I guess you're stuck with me until they get to the punchline.

Hey, those kids wouldn't have a roof over their heads if I didn't offer the couch up every once in a while. [ He knows she's teasing, really, he does, but there's still an edge of defensiveness to his words; if it came from anyone else, there would be more than that.

He enjoys the quiet when it comes, not that he minds either way, but it's nice, soaking up the warmth between them, letting the tension all seep out, and he slides his arms further around her, keeping her close, his chin resting low to the top of her head. ]

Must be awful for me. [ The sarcasm is more than obvious, his voice sounding as if he's rolling his eyes, fondly, even if the action doesn't quite make it. ] However am I gonna make it through?

I know. We're entirely too nice sometimes, but some one should be. [She's fine, she gets it- hell she does the same thing herself. She smooths her hand over his chest to sooth him, because honestly she didn't mean to... ruffle his feathers, as it were.]

The worst kind of awful. [He is a brat sometimes. Such a contrast to her.] You're just going to have... survive, somehow. I'm sorry.

It doesn't make sense, does it? [ He even stops to laugh, because, seriously, their lives aren't like most. ] Two deadly assassins, adopting kids, helping them when no one else will.

[ The gesture is appreciated, and he sighs beneath it, content, all feathers back in place, even though he knows she meant nothing by it. ]

The worst. Torture. [ He never got to be a brat as a kid, well, mostly, so he's got to take it where he can get it. ] It's okay, I'm a forgiving kinda guy. [ Sometimes. ] But I'm definitely a survivor, no doubt about it.

Not at all. [Because attachments to people who aren't... 'coworkers' isn't something they'd typically do. Because adopting these kids and giving them a safe place to stay is...nearly against everything their instincts tell them to do when they're anywhere else. At home, their lives would be too crazy to even consider taking anyone in like this.] It's the right thing to do. We're about doing the right thing.

[Good. She didn't. Having him upset with her over some teasing.]

It's just horrible. [She doesn't really mind it, really. Besides, if his bratty-ness was an issue, she'd sure as hell let him know.] Lucky me. It's a good thing we both are.

The right thing.

[ He hums in thought, huffs a quiet laugh, but somehow manages to seem in two minds about what that actually means and if they ever really do. But here, providing for one or two who have wandered through lost and alone, he's felt better about that than he has about anything else for a long while. He wonders if, when he leaves this place, he'll remember everything that's happened, and how that might alter how he proceeds, if anything will ever be the same - the people, the places, the memories - they all play their part in bringing Clint out more than he's ever let show and pushing Agent Barton away.

He's not sure how he feels about that, if it's good or bad, if it's safe for himself or for others, or if maybe it's something he's longed for all his life, but never quite had the opportunity for. Surviving, fighting his way through life, coping with the pain of betrayal - it all got in the way, became a priority, a way of life, and he's never known anything else until now. It's not exactly how he imagined it, on the rare occasions he let himself, but it's the closest he'll ever get to a home, to any real sense of family beyond SHIELD, and he's glad the two people who matter most are here to be a part of that. ]

Terrible. Things nightmares are made of. We'll either drive each other too insane to care or we'll take over the world. They had it coming.

[See, that's the problem for her. She's spent so long buried, so long as the weapon. Training for it. Being programmed for it. Taught, punished, pushed harder and harder. Even when she was free, she still strives for perfection. She still looks to have an objective. A job. A mission. A purpose. At home, she could almost turn that all off when she was with James.

Here? There is none of that. It's just... curses and people showing up. It's miniature hippos and rabbits who claim to be your soul. There is no purpose. No clear objective. No mission. She's becoming more Natasha and less of Agent Romanov, and she doesn't know how she feels about that.

She doesn't even know who she is outside of her job. She's never known anything else. This is strange. It's foreign and frightening. It's nothing she's ever dealt with in her long life, and she is so damn glad she has him here to keep her sane.

She actually snorts a soft scoffing laugh at that.]

That's right. Being stuck with me is horrific. You're never going to be the same again. [She grins, lifting her head carefully so she can look at him.] We're going to take over the world anyway. Our sanity is relative.

[ Where Natasha never really knew what she was before the training, without a mission to work towards completing, Clint did, and he almost envies her for that. Almost. He knows of family and betrayal, abuse and abandonment, of doing anything and everything it takes to survive, to keep the determination to piss the world off by staying in it, keeping himself alive.

But as much as he remembers, vividly, what it was before, he doesn't know who he is any better than she does. He's used to constant distractions, taking orders, finding subtle ways around breaking said rules without too much reprimanding afterwards, of sticking to his own morale code that he makes up as he does along depending on the situation. Strip that away, throw him into this situation with civilians and no real goal but to carry on until he makes it home? He's drowning, he has been for a while, restless and agitated, and wrapped up too much in his own thoughts.

Natasha, well, she provides a distraction from it, helps to ease the tension and wash everything away for a while to allow him some peace. He hopes he can do something along those lines for her, whatever it is that she needs to get her through. If it weren't for her and for Phil (even if that's still an awkward, touchy subject), he knows he would have gone mad a long time ago, the ticking in and of itself enough to drive him over the edge he's been hanging from for as long as he remembers. ]

It probably helps we didn't have much to start with. [ He sounds both contemplative and amused at the thought, but it's no less true. Sighing, he closes his eyes, wishes there were some way to melt into her that much more, to lose himself completely in it so he can shut off for a while, maybe a day or so, even a week. ] You're not wrong, though. The world's gonna be awesome as soon as we take the reigns.

[They're both so damaged, at the very least they can be damaged and drowning together. They can do what they can to keep the other one afloat and distract them when things like this happen.

She doesn't want to lean to heavily on him, and sometimes- like now, she thinks that maybe she does. But at the same time he'd tell her if it was too much. She carries a lot of her own weight herself. There are just days that... she needs to distribute it a little bit, to ease a little of the pressure.

This damn heart...as much as she knows it's the truth, it's a sore reminder of something that is so close, and yet so far away. Something that... at least here, doesn't belong to her, and she wouldn't expect that it ever will.]

Speak for yourself there, Feathers. [She teases with a laugh. Wouldn't that be amazing? She would love that, especially today. Just retreat into each other and hide away for a day, a week, a month maybe. Forget the world outside this apartment and learn how to breathe again.] Oh you know it will be. Have to wonder if they'd even stand up to stop us if we tried to take over quietly.

[ As someone who also tries not to rely on others too much, Clint wonders the same thing, even though he's long since stopped questioning their relationship; it's complicated, unique to their situation, and nothing anyone else could ever truly understand.

But there are definitely new lines that have been crossed, curses or not, and those make him a little nervous, unsure, but covering it with dry humour and telling himself it's because this Natasha is new, is bonded to him with her own separate memories of him while he's got his own perspective on it. One day soon they'll figure out how to bring those together and make it work smoothly. ]

Feathers. Really? [ He gives her a look, one that would send anyone else running for the hills, but it carries a fondness, a hint of amusement that only someone who knows what to look for can really pick up on. ] Depends if they see us coming or not. My vote leans more towards the subtle, but it's what we're good at.

007 [Video] || My heart kept breaking. I threw it against the wall Can anyone feel me at all?

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