[ VOICE ]

[signatures]

[ There's a long pause of just incredibly thoughtful breathing before Eames starts up. ]

I'm absolutely not going to tell you lot how to have sex. That's just silly. I think the majority of us are adults, in any case - and even if some of us have absolutely no experience, I'm sure everyone has the same general idea. It's hardly complicated. You'll know what to do when you get to that point.

If you don't, well - I'll spend my time feeling terribly sorry for the other partner.

In any case, just don't get married after. Even if she says she only pulls the special tricks for married men. After the big rock you have to use all of your resources to get her and the honeymoon period, the excitement wears off. She stops shaving her legs during winter. The stilettos get retired. Women are no longer obligated to impress their husbands by the time you two get back from Fiji and then what are you left with? Boredom and petty fighting. Honestly, there are other options out there - most of which involve far less paperwork.

And for God's sake, don't get anyone pregnant. Do you really want to introduce a baby to a City where a unicorn can run you down any moment and there are bars dedicated toward vampirism?

Right.

Carry on, then.

[ Blip! Off goes the feed. ]

Comments

[shall_yield_us]

You know, I've always wanted to ask that. Of course, it had to be of an obstinate fool who'd refuse, otherwise the - implications, but... but it's not a terribly hideous experience. As human oddities go.

[signatures]

It'd make for an entirely new and exciting experience if you found someone who would say yes.

I mean, think of all the possibilities - divorce, betrayal, a shiv in the right buttcheek.

[shall_yield_us]

Pass, Mr. Eames.

[signatures]

Smart boy.

[shall_yield_us]

You'll want to know condescension doesn't suit your shirt.

Then again, neither do this time and age and a reasonable taste.

[signatures]

Condescension and stating facts of approval are hardly the same thing.

[shall_yield_us]

You make a surprising case for their identity.

[signatures]

And personal taste is personal.

[shall_yield_us]

Unless we were wedded. Then we'd be consigned to a one opinion.

[signatures]

You'd have to cut your hair.

[shall_yield_us]

You'd have to be baptized a Delilah.

[signatures]

You'd have to stop curling your lashes.

[shall_yield_us]

I don't.

[signatures]

And gain some weight.

[shall_yield_us]

You grow wings.

[signatures]

You can't just tell someone to grow wings.

[shall_yield_us]

Well, why should the limitations of your physicality matter?

[signatures]

Because I can't grant you the impossible.

[shall_yield_us]

Liar.

[signatures]

Nor do I want to.

[shall_yield_us]

A true reason at long last. See? You can do it.

[signatures]

All I'm saying is that even if I could, I wouldn't for you.

[shall_yield_us]

You're being perfectly despicable to the one who only just offered you holy matrimony.

[signatures]

I've been told it's a charming quality.

[shall_yield_us]

You were lied to.