[ VOICE ]

[signatures]

[ There's a long pause of just incredibly thoughtful breathing before Eames starts up. ]

I'm absolutely not going to tell you lot how to have sex. That's just silly. I think the majority of us are adults, in any case - and even if some of us have absolutely no experience, I'm sure everyone has the same general idea. It's hardly complicated. You'll know what to do when you get to that point.

If you don't, well - I'll spend my time feeling terribly sorry for the other partner.

In any case, just don't get married after. Even if she says she only pulls the special tricks for married men. After the big rock you have to use all of your resources to get her and the honeymoon period, the excitement wears off. She stops shaving her legs during winter. The stilettos get retired. Women are no longer obligated to impress their husbands by the time you two get back from Fiji and then what are you left with? Boredom and petty fighting. Honestly, there are other options out there - most of which involve far less paperwork.

And for God's sake, don't get anyone pregnant. Do you really want to introduce a baby to a City where a unicorn can run you down any moment and there are bars dedicated toward vampirism?

Right.

Carry on, then.

[ Blip! Off goes the feed. ]

Comments

[signatures]

I didn't go out much regardless. It was just a warm place to be.

[boutant]

Yeah, I'll bet you didn't.

I never did understand that part. Spend all that money on a honeymoon and don't actually leave your room, unless you're going to have sex outside.

[signatures]

For the view outside your window, of course.

Besides, I'm sure some couples go out and explore every now and again.

[boutant]

Not worth it.

But not you?

[signatures]

She was the sort of woman who always got her way.

[boutant]

[ ... awkward mental images, please get out of her head. ]

You have a thing for being bossed around, don't you?

[ Not that that helped with the mental images. ]

[signatures]

I wouldn't call it a thing.

I suppose I'm just the only one who can handle their sort without bursting into tears each night. It must be a lonely existence, being bossy.

[boutant]

You definitely have a thing.

I don't know. I'd say I'm doing fairly well with it.

[signatures]

Coincidence.

You're not so bossy.

[boutant]

Thing.

I know plenty of people who would disagree with that.

[signatures]

Those people don't know Moneypenny.

[boutant]

... You married James Bond's boss' secretary?

[signatures]

That's the name she runs by these days. Her and all her crew are James Bond fanatics.

[boutant]

You know some very interesting people.

Though I guess that's better than being called Pussy Galore.

[signatures]

It keeps things lively.

I don't think she'd have minded that one, neither.

[boutant]

I really want to watch Bond films now.

[signatures]

Which Bond?

[boutant]

I haven't decided yet. Maybe Sean Connery.

[signatures]

Are you just saying that?

[boutant]

No. Why would I be?

[signatures]

Because no one likes Sean Connery's Bond.

Aside from myself.

[boutant]

[ The most confused face. ]

But it's Sean Connery.

[signatures]

I know.

That's what I tell those who argue with me, but then they continue to either cling to Dalton or Brosnan.

[boutant]

[ She waves a hand. ]

There's nothing wrong with liking more than one. New things are good.

[signatures]

There is something wrong with disliking Sean Connery.