[ VOICE ]

[signatures]

[ There's a long pause of just incredibly thoughtful breathing before Eames starts up. ]

I'm absolutely not going to tell you lot how to have sex. That's just silly. I think the majority of us are adults, in any case - and even if some of us have absolutely no experience, I'm sure everyone has the same general idea. It's hardly complicated. You'll know what to do when you get to that point.

If you don't, well - I'll spend my time feeling terribly sorry for the other partner.

In any case, just don't get married after. Even if she says she only pulls the special tricks for married men. After the big rock you have to use all of your resources to get her and the honeymoon period, the excitement wears off. She stops shaving her legs during winter. The stilettos get retired. Women are no longer obligated to impress their husbands by the time you two get back from Fiji and then what are you left with? Boredom and petty fighting. Honestly, there are other options out there - most of which involve far less paperwork.

And for God's sake, don't get anyone pregnant. Do you really want to introduce a baby to a City where a unicorn can run you down any moment and there are bars dedicated toward vampirism?

Right.

Carry on, then.

[ Blip! Off goes the feed. ]

Comments

voice;

[duplicities]

[ of course the black widow replies y u p ]

Classy as always, Mr. Eames.

voice;

[signatures]

Your sarcasm is as appreciated as always, Miss Natasha.

voice;

[duplicities]

Thank you for this illuminating edition to today's discussions.

voice;

[signatures]

I hope you enjoyed it.

voice;

[duplicities]

Was your marriage that dull?

voice;

[signatures]

As a whole? Not at all.

voice;

[duplicities]

Then you're speaking of marriages in general.

voice;

[signatures]

A bit of both. I'm only saying that a lack of dullness doesn't exactly translate into happiness or an ability to let go of certain self-preservation instincts.

As exciting as razorplay can be.

voice;

[duplicities]

Razorplay.

[ huh. ]

The trick of marriage is finding someone suitable and spending as little time with them as possible.

voice;

[signatures]

That just seems like a waste of money.

voice;

[duplicities]

It pays off in the long run.

voice;

[signatures]

[ How- ]

Oh.

I see.

voice;

[duplicities]

Oh?

voice;

[signatures]

You're a gold digger.

voice;

[duplicities]

You're insulting.

voice;

[signatures]

There's no shame in it.

voice;

[duplicities]

I'm not a gold digger.

voice;

[signatures]

Come now.

voice;

[duplicities]

[ FURIOUS. ]

You're incorrect.

voice;

[signatures]

All right.

voice;

[duplicities]

[ irritated huff of breath. CURSING HIM OUT IN RUSSIAN ISN'T AN OPTION DAMN PUBLIC FEEDS.

this is a waste of a tag whoops. ]

voice;

[signatures]

I believe you.

You just happen to enjoy the longrun of marriage and being with someone.

voice;

[duplicities]

When it suits my schedule.

voice;

[signatures]

Uh huh.

Do you keep a very busy schedule?

voice;

[duplicities]

I've a great many demands on my time.